"Stop touching your penis" (teens, parents, daughter, four year old)

[Lucidkitty]

Originally Posted by AnywhereElse

This makes more sense to me than any of the other suggestions. I have two boys that were 9 1/2 years apart and I never saw either one of them having this fascination with their penis so "they all do it" is debatable. Keep in mind that this has been going on for 3 years according to the OP. Have you talked to the doctor? Could there be some allergy to the laundry detergent or maybe the fabric of the underwear that may cause him to want to rub it or spray it for relief? Allergies are very common. My only other thought, which I am sure won't be appreciated, would be the possibility of sexual abuse making this so prevalent. When he starts school, I am guessing they will be concerned.

He would have many other signs including regressive behavior to point towards abuse.

[FinsterRufus]

Originally Posted by Tell-the-Truth

I've spoken to both my boys about masturbation, at length. Being human I'm privvy to the human "condition" so our discussion included it being quite normal to investigate one's private parts, and it being normal that it "feels good." However, they were both told that playing with themselves is not the most.............lucrative or appropriate use of their time and I gave them reasons why based upon my beliefs and my personal experiences.

Do I suspect they still sought that pleasure, probably the same night of the conversation? possibly, it's a hard habit to break. But I don't dismiss teaching moments based upon how I think my children will respond.

No four year old child has "privacy" to do anything in my house.

While we're at it a 14 year old shouldn't expect too much (I will knock on your door before entering but it being my house)..........go figure!

Yes, but at four, how did you actually stop them from doing it? Being old enough to understand your at length discussions on masturbation is one thing, but at four, I don't even know if that's the right word for it.

So how did you practically dissuade them from touching their penises when they were little kids?

The question in this thread is not whether masturbation is or is not desirable, but how the OP stops her four year old from touching his penis in public.

Keep in mind, some of us don't want our kids to feel ashamed for doing something natural and perfectly acceptable, we would just rather they kept it private.

[nana053]

This is completely normal and not unique to boys, but boys do have a fascination with their penises. After all, it hangs outside their body unlike a girl's clitoris or vagina.

Masturbation | BabyCenter

Don't panic. Masturbation is a completely normal thing to do. It doesn't cause any physical ills, pose any health risks, and no, it won't turn your child into a sex maniac. Masturbation in toddlers isn't sexual (as it is for adults) because toddlers don't know what sex is."

[FinsterRufus]

Originally Posted by AnywhereElse

This makes more sense to me than any of the other suggestions. I have two boys that were 9 1/2 years apart and I never saw either one of them having this fascination with their penis so "they all do it" is debatable. Keep in mind that this has been going on for 3 years according to the OP. Have you talked to the doctor? Could there be some allergy to the laundry detergent or maybe the fabric of the underwear that may cause him to want to rub it or spray it for relief? Allergies are very common. My only other thought, which I am sure won't be appreciated, would be the possibility of sexual abuse making this so prevalent. When he starts school, I am guessing they will be concerned.

This is one of my worst fears. A little kid doing this is not unusual nor abnormal, but here we go with someone thinking it could be sexual abuse.

I don't know for sure, but I would highly doubt a four year old would do a pleasurable normal thing as a result of being hurt sexually.

Just about every parent is in danger of being accused of this if this is a supposed criteria. Please don't put it out there. It's really really dangerous.

[Dave5150]

Originally Posted by AnywhereElse

This makes more sense to me than any of the other suggestions. I have two boys that were 9 1/2 years apart and I never saw either one of them having this fascination with their penis so "they all do it" is debatable. Keep in mind that this has been going on for 3 years according to the OP. Have you talked to the doctor? Could there be some allergy to the laundry detergent or maybe the fabric of the underwear that may cause him to want to rub it or spray it for relief? Allergies are very common. My only other thought, which I am sure won't be appreciated, would be the possibility of sexual abuse making this so prevalent. When he starts school, I am guessing they will be concerned.

He has very sensitive skin and anytime something irritates his penis you can definitely tell. There is no irritation. He just likes to touch it. If it itches he tells me. Im not sure why sexual abuse would make him rub his penis, because someone else does or did or he has seen it? I am a SAHM and he is not around anyone but me 90% of the time. If not me, than my husband or my inlaws. None of which pose even the most remote possibility of abusing him so Im certain that is not a concern I should have.

[auntieannie68]

no fear--this too shall pass--working with kids it was common among 4 yr olds----giving them something else to do with their hands helped and so did the peer pressure of other pre k kids---especially the girls ewwww's--by kindergarten---99% of the touchers lost the urge

[Tell-the-Truth]

Originally Posted by FinsterRufus

Yes, but at four, how did you actually stop them from doing it? Being old enough to understand your at length discussions on masturbation is one thing, but at four, I don't even know if that's the right word for it.

So how did you practically dissuade them from touching their penises when they were little kids?

The question in this thread is not whether masturbation is or is not desirable, but how the OP stops her four year old from touching his penis in public.

Keep in mind, some of us don't want our kids to feel ashamed for doing something natural and perfectly acceptable, we would just rather they kept it private.

1. I don't recall having the conversation as young as four.

2. When you say dissuade, I had the conversation that I mentioned. I don't suspect that that conversation stopped their "investigation" but we have had several more conversations over the years.

3. I read the op And I also read and responded to a question posed to me

4. keep in mind, I believe that we humans are free to make whatever decisions we want and that includes having and "voicing" an opinion on a forum

[nyanna]

Originally Posted by FinsterRufus

What do you suggest as an alternative?

I have a nephew and he never went throught that phase of always wanting to touch himself

I think he should be told not to do it period. It seems really inappropriate to tell a child that it's okay to go into the bathroom or his room to touch himself. It gives off a incesty vibe

[Tell-the-Truth]

Originally Posted by Lucidkitty

I don't get what is wrong with a child doing that in his or her room? What does it hurt? I also don't see the point in trying to dissuade a natural part of humanity.

And that's fair! we're all individuals

I explained my position in an earlier post

[Dave5150]

Originally Posted by nyanna

I have a nephew and he never went throught that phase of always wanting to touch himself

I think he should be told not to do it period. It seems really inappropriate to tell a child that it's okay to go into the bathroom or his room to touch himself. It gives off a incesty vibe

What about masturbating in your own home gives off an incesty vibe? While I dont agree with him doing it in public or in front of myself or my husband, I dont have a problem with him just investigating it himself. Would you not allow your teenage son or daughter to masturbate? Is that also incesty?