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All young boys do this. It does sound as though you don't want him doing it at all though, which is not only unrealistic, but a bit controlling IMO. If you set up rules, then you have to abide by them too. I told my son the appropriate places for such activities were in the bathroom or his bedroom when he was alone. If you come into one of those rooms, you can't freak out if he is doing it in an area you said he could, keep cool. He is very young, he'll start understanding social cues more and more, and this is one of them.
No more explaining, acknowledging that it feels good or asking him 'does Daddy always touch his penis?'
Be very direct in a matter of fact tone with as few words as possible.
At home when he's touching his penis: 'Please go to your room to do that.' Not 'I know that feels good but if you want to touch your penis you have to go to your room- you can't do it in front of me, or Mommy, or Nana, or Papaw or...
Do not say it in a scolding way but not in a happy, smiley way either. Say this every time and he will get tired of being alone in his room. It won't be immediate but it will happen if you're consistent.
When you're out in public and he does it: get his attention give him a firm 'let go of that.' Every time he does it.
This worked with my son. I remember his t-ball games when he had just turned 4. Lol
I said 'let go of that' quite often. The coaches started telling him 'let go of that.' The other Moms 'let go of that.'
He's fifteen now and we laugh about him having his hand down his pants in a couple of photos.
He isnt as blatant about it when we are out and about but he still does it. He doesnt put his hand in his pants but he touches it through his pants. And I agree he is old enough to understand that its not appropriate but the lesson is just not getting across. And he is going to preK
It's really a difficult thing for them to understand. It's just going to take time. And at preK, they'll be perfectly well prepared for it and it's not going to shock anybody.
You just need to reinforce the message without freaking out. It's one of those things that doesn't make any sense to a kid, they don't get why they can't do it in front of people, but they will.
I think too once he gets to pre k there will be a lot of other things going on and he probably won't be as interested in his penis there as he is at home.
By the way, this kind of thing is not limited to boys.
All young boys do this. It does sound as though you don't want him doing it at all though, which is not only unrealistic, but a bit controlling IMO. If you set up rules, then you have to abide by them too. I told my son the appropriate places for such activities were in the bathroom or his bedroom when he was alone. If you come into one of those rooms, you can't freak out if he is doing it in an area you said he could, keep cool. He is very young, he'll start understanding social cues more and more, and this is one of them.
Yes all young boys do it. And if i walk down the hallway and see him doing it I dont tell him not too. But at story time? At the grocery store? In front of me in the bathtub? You are darn right I am telling him to stop. And its not controlling to teach my child manners. If noones mommy told them to stop touching their penis' I have no doubt there would be grown men touching themselves in public, more than there is. The problem is telling him to do it when he is alone DOESNT WORK. He doesnt care if I see him. Last week in the tub he was playing with it while spraying it with the sprayer thing in the shower while I was washing his hair. On no planet is that appropriate behavior.
No more explaining, acknowledging that it feels good or asking him 'does Daddy always touch his penis?'
Be very direct in a matter of fact tone with as few words as possible.
At home when he's touching his penis: 'Please go to your room to do that.' Not 'I know that feels good but if you want to touch your penis you have to go to your room- you can't do it in front of me, or Mommy, or Nana, or Papaw or...
Do not say it in a scolding way but not in a happy, smiley way either. Say this every time and he will get tired of being alone in his room. It won't be immediate but it will happen if you're consistent.
When you're out in public and he does it: get his attention give him a firm 'let go of that.' Every time he does it.
This worked with my son. I remember his t-ball games when he had just turned 4. Lol
I said 'let go of that' quite often. The coaches started telling him 'let go of that.' The other Moms 'let go of that.'
He's fifteen now and we laugh about him having his hand down his pants in a couple of photos.
~l~
Ill talk to my husband about this, but this sounds like a good plan. I really do try and get him to understand most of the time why I tell him to do the things I do or not to do the things. But It isnt always realistic and sometimes when he falls off the couch I say thats why I said not to. But I think in this situation, all else has failed so now there have got to be no more asking or explaining. Just do what I told you to do, touch it alone or dont touch it at all.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty
I imagine he is at that age that your REACTION is a bigger thrill to him then actually touching it. Try ignoring him, and see if that does anything.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
My little boy does things that really baffle me. Things he knows will set me off... I assume because he wants to set me off.
He's homozygous dominant stubborn, too, it seems. Eventually I will learn that my grandmother was right (she had a ****load of kids) when she said "Ignored behavior goes away".
My little boy does things that really baffle me. Things he knows will set me off... I assume because he wants to set me off.
He's homozygous dominant stubborn, too, it seems. Eventually I will learn that my grandmother was right (she had a ****load of kids) when she said "Ignored behavior goes away".
While I do agree that ignored behavior goes away, sometimes I believe you have to enforce the rules because they are there for a reason. If he was at home and just being slightly inappropriate I might be able to ignore it, but I refuse to over look the rudeness that is touching your genitals in public.
Maybe if you could rig something up so that you can give him a mild electrical shock whenever you see him doing this outside of his room.
Just kidding.
And Finster is right, girls do it, too. Not long ago I remembered my daughter at about three, on the couch, her pants down, legs in the air, and yelling "Look, Mommy, my whole finger disappeared!" Luckily, I remembered this touching moment (pun intended) when she was hanging out with a bunch of her childhood friends all home from college. They LOVED hearing the story. My daughter, not so much.
Maybe if you could rig something up so that you can give him a mild electrical shock whenever you see him doing this outside of his room.
Just kidding.
A "Zapping Zipper" from Downboy.com is what your after.
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