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Old 04-02-2012, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 690,362 times
Reputation: 862

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How many times a day should I have to say to my 4 year old to leave your penis alone. I dont know what else to do. Im so completely frustrated!

He constantly has his hands in his pants and plays with it. Any time he can he takes his pants off so he can get to it easier. I have tried telling him that he cant do that at school and they will make him go home, since he starts school in the fall and is really excited. I have tried saying "does daddy always touch his penis?" since he always wants to be like daddy. I have tried punishing him. I have tried telling him that gentlemen/little boys/ big boys etc dont play with it. I have told him its for going potty and unless there is a problem or he is going to the bathroom, he shouldnt be touching it.

I know that curiosity is normal for little boys and "if it feels good, do it", its also rude and impolite for him to always be touching it. What can i do!?!
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
2,353 posts, read 6,218,835 times
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I have 2 boys and they went though this phase..every little boy I have known has done thru this at some age. Some day they will get over it( to a certain degree), don't pay to much attention to it.
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 690,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neddy View Post
I have 2 boys and they went though this phase..every little boy I have known has done thru this at some age. Some day they will get over it( to a certain degree), don't pay to much attention to it.
What about school?
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:09 AM
 
5,983 posts, read 2,980,980 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
What about school?
Does he do it while you're out grocery shopping, or otherwise in public places? If he doesn't, then you probably don't have to worry about school.

Although, I would suggest perhaps putting him in some kind of program for the summer before he starts kindergarten (?), so you can prepare him for the kind of social etiquette necessary for situations he'll be in that you won't be there to help him with.

He's old enough to understand that touching your bits is something you do in private that it's not appropriate in front of other people.

But I do understand, it's very hard to find the line between not making them embarrassed regarding their genitalia and not being so proud of it that they show it to all and sundry. Although come to think of it, there are a lot of men who never do get that message.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 690,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Does he do it while you're out grocery shopping, or otherwise in public places? If he doesn't, then you probably don't have to worry about school.

Although, I would suggest perhaps putting him in some kind of program for the summer before he starts kindergarten (?), so you can prepare him for the kind of social etiquette necessary for situations he'll be in that you won't be there to help him with.

He's old enough to understand that touching your bits is something you do in private that it's not appropriate in front of other people.

But I do understand, it's very hard to find the line between not making them embarrassed regarding their genitalia and not being so proud of it that they show it to all and sundry. Although come to think of it, there are a lot of men who never do get that message.
He isnt as blatant about it when we are out and about but he still does it. He doesnt put his hand in his pants but he touches it through his pants. And I agree he is old enough to understand that its not appropriate but the lesson is just not getting across. And he is going to preK
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:24 AM
 
Location: hunt valley
6,314 posts, read 2,845,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
He isnt as blatant about it when we are out and about but he still does it. He doesnt put his hand in his pants but he touches it through his pants. And I agree he is old enough to understand that its not appropriate but the lesson is just not getting across. And he is going to preK
I imagine he is at that age that your REACTION is a bigger thrill to him then actually touching it. Try ignoring him, and see if that does anything.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:27 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
5,856 posts, read 6,598,261 times
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I would just tell him that's private and he can only do it in the bathroom or in his room by himself. Tell him it's fine to do there (as long as he washes his hands afterwards) but just not something to do in front of anyone, even in front of mommy.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
2,196 posts, read 2,262,960 times
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Disclosure: I don't not have boys but have many friends with 4 year old boys.

The party line among them is 'it's a private thing, if you want to do it, that's ok but only in private', it seems that's what all the parenting books advise while acknowledging that it IS completely normal.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,812,833 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
I would just tell him that's private and he can only do it in the bathroom or in his room by himself. Tell him it's fine to do there (as long as he washes his hands afterwards) but just not something to do in front of anyone, even in front of mommy.
This is exactly what we tell our 3.5 yo. Time will tell how well it works for us!

I agree with the poster who said the parental reaction might be reinforcing it some. We use a matter-of-fact tone and address it briefly if he forgets that he's not in his room or the bathroom, but no big reaction from us.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 690,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
I imagine he is at that age that your REACTION is a bigger thrill to him then actually touching it. Try ignoring him, and see if that does anything.
When I walk down the hallway after he has been playing in his room alone for a while, i will walk in and see him doing it. He isnt doing it for a reaction, he also does it when he is by himself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
I would just tell him that's private and he can only do it in the bathroom or in his room by himself. Tell him it's fine to do there (as long as he washes his hands afterwards) but just not something to do in front of anyone, even in front of mommy.
I have told him that. I told him that its not for all the time. And that its for only him. And all the usual stuff. He just likes it i guess. I dont know what to do
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