I love perfect parents, with perfect children... (sitter, legal, out of control)

[no kudzu]

Originally Posted by Zimbochick

What I find very entertaining about threads such as this is I was a very naughty teen, and I was very skilled at flying under the radar. If you were to ask my mother about my teenage years, she would say I was an angel, never in trouble, compliant, yadda, yadda. My parents were blissfully unaware of my antics, and didn't notice things that were right under their noses. When I hear parents say what absolute little angels their children are/were, I just have to giggle.

good point and even with tangible evidence some parents are in such a degree of denial.

[ellar]

Well I do have a neighbor who I think pretty much has perfect kids. The family has six children ranging in age from 19 to two, and they are the best behaved kids I have ever seen. I can't get a big head around them because those kids are so wonderful! They help each other out. They are exceedingly polite to adults. I have never seen them argue or interrupt someone talking. They take turns and share when they are playing games. I think they are good students. I don't know if they are really good at any activities or if they eat fast food, but they are incredibly well behaved and good to each other. They also seem happy.

When I watch families like theirs, I have to say the parents tend to be quite calm and often modest as well. They also expect more from their kids in terms of being responsible and helping each other. I have noticed my kids behave better when I am calm, but sometimes it is hard. I also know I tend to do too much for my kids, and that sometimes makes them whiny and act entitled (acting like they are not being "served" properly). I have to work on that one more! Anyway, when I think of nearly perfect or at least great kids, this is what I think about--those kids who make you smile because they are so nice.

[lkb0714]

Eh, when I hear people talk about how awesome their kids are it just tells you what they value. People adore the things in their kids that they like best about themselves. Likewise the things that drive them crazy about their kids are also usually traits they have.

My favorite traits in my daughter are her academic achievements and her willingness to work. Two traits I value highly. The last one really floors people about her all the time. She just does what needs to be done, never needs to be asked. She really is awesome that way.

Meanwhile she is frequently comes across as *itchy, something I am called as well. But sometimes in the fields we chose it has to be that way. Oh well.

[Dave5150]

Right now there are some issues going on in my family and I was talking to my sister. I said I didnt know how to not make it about me, even though its about the DH. She said, how could you not make it about it you, you only understand it as it pertains to you. And I think this is very insightful to many aspects of life, this thread being one of them.

Of course what I do is the way its supposed to be done, because its the way I do it. As a parent, the decisions I make I think are the right ones and if they are successful then I want to share them with other people doing things differently because they worked, FOR ME. I in no way think its the only way but its the only perspective I have and thus I want to share it. Doesn't mean I think I'm perfect or that my child is perfect, though he is pretty darn awesome .

[Katiana]

Originally Posted by ellar

Well I do have a neighbor who I think pretty much has perfect kids. The family has six children ranging in age from 19 to two, and they are the best behaved kids I have ever seen. I can't get a big head around them because those kids are so wonderful! They help each other out. They are exceedingly polite to adults. I have never seen them argue or interrupt someone talking. They take turns and share when they are playing games. I think they are good students. I don't know if they are really good at any activities or if they eat fast food, but they are incredibly well behaved and good to each other. They also seem happy.

When I watch families like theirs, I have to say the parents tend to be quite calm and often modest as well. They also expect more from their kids in terms of being responsible and helping each other. I have noticed my kids behave better when I am calm, but sometimes it is hard. I also know I tend to do too much for my kids, and that sometimes makes them whiny and act entitled (acting like they are not being "served" properly). I have to work on that one more! Anyway, when I think of nearly perfect or at least great kids, this is what I think about--those kids who make you smile because they are so nice.

Sometimes those are the ones that turn out to be serial killers! (J/K!)

Seriously, some of these kids turn out to be "not so nice". You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

[Zimbochick]

Originally Posted by Katiana

You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

And that really is the crux of the matter. Some kids are perfectly behaved when out and about because they know they'll get a whooping at home later, and so on and so forth.

[Irish Eyes]

Originally Posted by ellar

Well I do have a neighbor who I think pretty much has perfect kids. The family has six children ranging in age from 19 to two, and they are the best behaved kids I have ever seen. I can't get a big head around them because those kids are so wonderful! They help each other out. They are exceedingly polite to adults. I have never seen them argue or interrupt someone talking. They take turns and share when they are playing games. I think they are good students. I don't know if they are really good at any activities or if they eat fast food, but they are incredibly well behaved and good to each other. They also seem happy.

When I watch families like theirs, I have to say the parents tend to be quite calm and often modest as well. They also expect more from their kids in terms of being responsible and helping each other. I have noticed my kids behave better when I am calm, but sometimes it is hard. I also know I tend to do too much for my kids, and that sometimes makes them whiny and act entitled (acting like they are not being "served" properly). I have to work on that one more! Anyway, when I think of nearly perfect or at least great kids, this is what I think about--those kids who make you smile because they are so nice.

This is how I will know I've done my job as a parent.

[veuvegirl]

I always find it amusing when parents have no idea how rotten their children are because they don't parent. I had a friend who couldn't understand why her two year old wouldn't 'reason' with her. Um.... because 2 years old is TOO young to reason?

She would give her children whatever they wanted, never said no and bribe them to do things she did want. Every time I am around her now, her kids are BEYOND misbehaved. They spit, bite, hit still throw tantrums (11 and 6).

[alise007]

I know my kids aren't perfect but most of the time I am not embarrassed by them in public and sometimes even get complimented on their behavior! But that doesn't mean I haven't sat them down in the middle of Toys R Us and given them a time out.

I am probably a bit too firm at times but we are consistent and the kids know what is expected and what the consequences are. We have a lot of family outings/wknd trips and spend much time together outside of work/school. I don't necessarily limit their extracurricular activities but they do understand that the things we do cost $$$ and for that reason they have to weigh the choices. I want them to be mindful and respectful. They understand we can't do/buy everything but they have a lot and I want them to appreciate it and not take it for granted.

I don't let them have soda but a lot of that is probably because I was overweight and I want them to not fill up on empty sugar loaded calories! But I do allow sweets/snacks. Because it is readily available they don't seem to go overboard.

I know I am lucky and both of them are good kids but they are by no means perfect! My 4 yr will cry at the drop of the hat if you tell her No! She is convinced you will change your mind/answer. The almost 6 yr old son has major melt downs because he is ultra competitive and hates losing. I am worried he will become a victim of bullies.

Good kids yes, Perfect kids NO! Happy kids--yes! I actually enjoy their company and they are fun to be with most of the time! I feel very lucky to have them!

[glass_of_merlot]

There are no perfect anything. Even what to you seem perfect, is not.