The Ex and His New Girlfriend (custody, divorced, baby, parent)
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I divorced my ex about a 1 year ago. But we have been apart about 2 years. He finally meet someone after he returned from overseas. A women he meet over the Internet a few weeks ago. He has visitation with our daughter every other weekend.
I've never meet the women but my daughter came home telling me that her father told her to call this women, mom and her daughter, sister. I'm not happy about that. If I bring it up to him, that promises drama.
Should I correct her? I don't want her to get her heart broken when and if they break up as that has been a constant theme in his life.
I divorced my ex about a 1 year ago. But we have been apart about 2 years. He finally meet someone after he returned from overseas. A women he meet over the Internet a few weeks ago. He has visitation with our daughter every other weekend.
I've never meet the women but my daughter came home telling me that her father told her to call this women, mom and her daughter, sister. I'm not happy about that. If I bring it up to him, that promises drama.
Should I correct her? I don't want her to get her heart broken when and if they break up as that has been a constant theme in his life.
hmmmm.....time for some ground rules.
If you and your ex can't speak cordially regarding your daughter, have your lawyer or some other intermediary let him know you don't think this appropriate or healthy for your child.
Have them ask him how HE would feel if you insisted a new boyfriend of yours be called "daddy"
How old is your daughter? A very young child, yes, I would correct her. A kid old enough to know her own feelings, I would ask how she felt about it, and if it made her uncomfortable. I would think it would, if he just met some chick online and asking his child to call her mom. And I would explain to her that the title "mom" is reserved for someone who is going to love and care for her as much as you do, and who she knows is going to be there for her, and until she feels that way about her dad's new fling, she can call her by her name.
She will be 5 next week. We actually have a custody hearing next week to finalize my primary custody in a permanent order. I didn't want to rock the boat until after the trial because I know he will use it to slam me in court in front of the judge. He takes very minor things and turn them into "I'm trying to use it against him". We had a clause in our separation agreement that stated no people of the opposite sex that isn't related by blood or marriage is allow to sleep over while the child is present. Since we divorced that doesn't apply anymore.
I'm getting annoyed with him trying to use our daughter to his advantage in relationships. She is very sad and tells me she wishes I would sleep with dad instead of the other mommy. I asked her what she meant by that. She told me that dad kisses and hugs this women all day long. Then when it's time to go to sleep, she has to sleep on the floor with her half brother while dad sleeps with this women. She usually sleeps in the bed with him until she falls asleep, the he takes her to her bed. He has done this since she was a baby.
I understand that I can't control what he does with her during his parenting time but he is so fixed on having a women it affects our daughter in a negative way.
A good solution that works in some families is for the child to call the woman, Mother Susan or whatever. She gets the respectful title, but it's a formal thing, not the comfy Momma name.
what a mess! I think this sort of thing would be the worse part of divorcing with kids. No way would I allow my children to address a live in girlfriend of her Dad's as Mom. and I would either tell him directly or have the atty address it in divorce papers. If and when he marries this woman is time enough to discuss what to call step mother but who knows when or if that would ever happen. It is possible a young child like this could be introduced to a series of women in her dad's life and be expected to call each one Mom.
I do have to acknowledge the mother of my step children. She was much more generous and magnanimous than I ever would be. Whenever we flew the kids from her to us several states apart, she always dressed them neatly and simply gave them orders to be good guests and help when it was requested. Up till then their Dad had been Disney Land Dad and each visit became a very expensive vacation which sent Dad into debt big time. I simply told them they could call me whatever they were comfortable with and we settled on my first name. when Dad and I had our own children his ex wife became Aunt Doe and her new husband became Uncle Joe. I think we handled it very well-maybe not perfectly but it works for us.
I divorced my ex about a 1 year ago. But we have been apart about 2 years. He finally meet someone after he returned from overseas. A women he meet over the Internet a few weeks ago. He has visitation with our daughter every other weekend.
I've never meet the women but my daughter came home telling me that her father told her to call this women, mom and her daughter, sister. I'm not happy about that. If I bring it up to him, that promises drama.
Should I correct her? I don't want her to get her heart broken when and if they break up as that has been a constant theme in his life.
So your ex wants his child to call some chick he met on-line and has been dating Mom? WTF! Set all of them straight. Welcome the drama in this situation. What a loser he is.
I divorced my ex about a 1 year ago. But we have been apart about 2 years. He finally meet someone after he returned from overseas. A women he meet over the Internet a few weeks ago. He has visitation with our daughter every other weekend.
I've never meet the women but my daughter came home telling me that her father told her to call this women, mom and her daughter, sister. I'm not happy about that. If I bring it up to him, that promises drama.
Should I correct her? I don't want her to get her heart broken when and if they break up as that has been a constant theme in his life.
"Constant theme in his life"----? You sure project a dark future for this man...Have you always done that? Just asking...if you were faithful to him...faithful does not have to do with sex or cheating....it seems that you lost faith in this person..that you stopped believing in him..
Sounds like dad is suggesting that the kid call the girlfriend mother ..not because it would be a good thing...but to get back at you...I raised one step...and never did I ever tell him to call me dad...he has a dad..good or bad...and YOU are the mother....sounds like you should make peace with your X...and the kid is not going to get heart broken over this stranger...sounds like you and the X took care of that.
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WTF! Set all of them straight. Welcome the drama in this situation. What a loser he is.
