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Old 04-11-2012, 04:44 PM
 
37 posts, read 192,296 times
Reputation: 98

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My daughter is 13 years old. Her friend is 13. My daughter is 4'11. Her friend is 5'7.

2 days ago, the two of them were at the playround. There were 2 other friends there. My daughter in joking, pushed a boy in front of the swing while her friend was swinging. Not even enough to reach my daughter's friend. There was never any physical contact.

It was horse play. And my daughter should have used better judgement in case the boy did not get out the way. She was wrong. somone could have gotten hurt!!

My daughter's friend jumped off the swing and told my daughter "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!!!' again there was never any contact on either side. She grabbed my daughter from behind ( she towers over my daughter! ) and put my kid in a choke hold. (her arm bent around my daughter neck and restricting air from the windpipe) !!!! even though my daughter pleaded and begged her too, because she was in pain and felt dizzy like she was going to pass out!

Then the girl grabs my daughter by her THROAT, and throws her on the ground !!

It was so bad the other 2 kids ran over and asked if my daughter was alright. they later told me the story just as my daughter did. and were just as shocked about this girl's behavior. My daughter came home crying. She was terrified. She said "Mom i couldn't BREATHE !!!" And she was even more terrifed that she was thrown on the ground with such force! -By her neck. I looked at her throat and it was red. and red at her windpipe where this girl had her other arm in a fist hold over her windpipe.

My daughter is now having a text arguement with this girl. The girl INSISTS my daughter i making a mountain out of a mole hil. Saying it was not a big deal. repeatedly texting "STOP whining"! And says if my kid was hurt so bad, WHY was she outside the next day!!

Please give me your thoughts.This will help my daughter as well. She belives her friend is wrong. But confused becasue her friend is not taking responsibility. So my daughter is second guessing her feelings. My daughter need your help to to process this.

I already gave her my thoughts. I told her with regards to the girl choking my baby, " I am handing out behind whippins and lollipops! And tonight I am ALLLL out of lollipops!"

Thanks in advance!!
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Old 04-11-2012, 04:50 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
Reputation: 31039
Do you know this girl's parents? I think I'd show up on their door step and have a chat.
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Old 04-11-2012, 04:57 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,981,619 times
Reputation: 42369
Why in the world would you allow your daughter to speak to that bully? If you don't want to confront the parents at the very least, please have the good sense to cut all contact with this girl and stay far away from her. If they go to the same school, inform the principal what happened and that she is to be kept away from your daughter.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Outside of Chicago
4,598 posts, read 3,749,769 times
Reputation: 6548
Press charges against the girl that assaulted your daughter.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:16 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,967,152 times
Reputation: 5475
Friendship should be OVER! The girl should not be calling, texting, and your dd should NOT be responding, or initiating contact. Let the girl's parents know if she puts her hands on your child again, charges will be filed. I would go as far to say make a police report or restraining order, but that might make things worse for your dd at this point. I WOULD make sure the bully knows that is what will happen if she touches your dd again. And, as mentioned, let the school know that this girl assaulted your child and is not to be near her.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,226,786 times
Reputation: 2387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow Connection View Post
Please give me your thoughts.This will help my daughter as well. She belives her friend is wrong. But confused becasue her friend is not taking responsibility. So my daughter is second guessing her feelings. My daughter need your help to to process this.
I agree with Kibbie, Julia, and Anna. Please tell your daughter not to second guess herself because the "friend" isn't taking responsibility. Whether the "friend" sees her own actions as problematic or not is irrelevant, there could be 100 reasons the girl is trying to make light of it, and bullies frequently underestimate the harm their actions cause. Your daughter is correct to believe the "friend" is in the wrong. Please don't allow them to have further contact.

Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 04-11-2012 at 05:35 PM..
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:39 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
425 posts, read 649,685 times
Reputation: 404
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Friendship should be OVER! The girl should not be calling, texting, and your dd should NOT be responding, or initiating contact. Let the girl's parents know if she puts her hands on your child again, charges will be filed. I would go as far to say make a police report or restraining order, but that might make things worse for your dd at this point. I WOULD make sure the bully knows that is what will happen if she touches your dd again. And, as mentioned, let the school know that this girl assaulted your child and is not to be near her.
I 1000x agree to this comment. No one has the rights to put their hands on some body like that in any regard and especially in such force.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:58 PM
 
136 posts, read 63,868 times
Reputation: 56
I would have had my kid choke the other kid back. I am the kind of parent that will be proud of my kid for kicking some bully's butt not the one that tells him he was wrong.
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Old 04-11-2012, 06:22 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,981,619 times
Reputation: 42369
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sieg View Post
I would have had my kid choke the other kid back. I am the kind of parent that will be proud of my kid for kicking some bully's butt not the one that tells him he was wrong.
That's not possible to do after the fact, though. If you're suggesting this mom tell her daughter, "Now you march right back there and throttle her back, young lady," that is asking for all kinds of trouble.
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Old 04-11-2012, 06:26 PM
 
2,763 posts, read 4,433,326 times
Reputation: 2762
I dont really understand the point of this thread. It seems like common sense - dont let your daughter talk to said girl and go talk to her parents about her behavior.
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