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I just can't imagine hitting my child. Never have. She is turning out to be lovely. She's not an angel all of the time, so there are times when I say, "No computer for 2 days" or "You can't text tonight". She's come to expect that. When she was younger, time outs actually worked. My husband and I have always been "the bosses" without ever having to lay a hand on our child. Kids are these beautiful, precious people. Why would we want to hurt them? I have had moments, believe me when she was a toddler, where I wanted to fling her across the room, but I wouldn't dare act on it, and those fleeting feelings would pass. All parents get angry and want to lash out, but we can't.
I spoke of what constitutes "punishment" these days. I've seen enough of it to know it is pretty common. I've heard the "go to your room" more times than I care to recall. Punishment has a different meaning to different people. I just think that sending a child to their room is not punishment.
I don't get your connection to spanking and domestic violence. Now that really doesn't make any sense.
Agreed. Most often, the kid doesn't want to be around you anyway. The bigger punishment is to make them sit next to you.
I'm a member of another board where many of the Moms are adamantly anti-spanking. These same mothers will post about how they told their child "I hate you" or "You are a horrible person" when they were frustrated with them. They then turn to the forum to figure out how to apologize to their child.
IMO, sometimes parents who are anti-spanking do a LOT of emotional/psychological harm to their children, but because they aren't spanking them, they think they have it all figured out.
I'm a member of another board where many of the Moms are adamantly anti-spanking. These same mothers will post about how they told their child "I hate you" or "You are a horrible person" when they were frustrated with them. They then turn to the forum to figure out how to apologize to their child.
IMO, sometimes parents who are anti-spanking do a LOT of emotional/psychological harm to their children, but because they aren't spanking them, they think they have it all figured out.
Sadly, I have witnessed this too. Not all parents who don't hit are verbally abusive, but it can happen. The same way hitting parents can never say a harsh word. Ideally, it's best to be a non hitting, not verbally abusive parent. The kids from these kinds of parent would fare better, I would think.
I just can't imagine hitting my child. Never have. She is turning out to be lovely. She's not an angel all of the time, so there are times when I say, "No computer for 2 days" or "You can't text tonight". She's come to expect that. When she was younger, time outs actually worked. My husband and I have always been "the bosses" without ever having to lay a hand on our child. Kids are these beautiful, precious people. Why would we want to hurt them? I have had moments, believe me when she was a toddler, where I wanted to fling her across the room, but I wouldn't dare act on it, and those fleeting feelings would pass. All parents get angry and want to lash out, but we can't.
While beating your child might be about lashing out, that is not the case with spanking.
I think that is part of the problem here: many people are equating spanking with beating and/or abuse. It is not the same. Some people here also seem to assume that spanking is the only disciplinary tool used. It is not true. Spanking is usually my last resort and/or for instances of a particular grievous nature.
I just can't imagine hitting my child. Never have. She is turning out to be lovely. She's not an angel all of the time, so there are times when I say, "No computer for 2 days" or "You can't text tonight". She's come to expect that. When she was younger, time outs actually worked. My husband and I have always been "the bosses" without ever having to lay a hand on our child. Kids are these beautiful, precious people. Why would we want to hurt them? I have had moments, believe me when she was a toddler, where I wanted to fling her across the room, but I wouldn't dare act on it, and those fleeting feelings would pass. All parents get angry and want to lash out, but we can't.
Well, of course you shouldn't "fling your kid across the room". No one is defending such behavior.
You are lucky your child accepts "no computer" and "no texting". Thank G*d we didn't have cell phones when my kids were younger, although taking one away might have been a good punishment. Believe me, when you get these little negotiators, they challenge you! "No computer"? "But mom, I have to do my homework on it, and, and, and" ad infinitum.
be well adjusted and responsible adults! And no I'm not talking about physical abuse, I'm talking about the occassional spanking so liberal peanut gallery please don't jump all over me!
I cannot STAND the super-nannys who put kids in "time out" to break them like dogs...those kids get sooooooo distressed I don't know why she isn't arrested for child abuse.
A quick swat on the butt or leg when they're naughty cuts out HOURS of emotionally abusive so-called discipline, in my book, then it's a cuddle and an lecture and back off to play. As soon as they can count to 3 (Mummy's going to count to 3, then you'll get a smack) they discipline themselves.
IME, spanking works. Teaches your children to respect what you say and not act a fool. If done effectively, you rarely have to do it past the age of 8 or 9. A look is usually all that's necessary to get them to straighten up their act.
This whole "I respect my child's right to personal expression" is why we have a bunch of adults who can't hack it on their own. So quick to cry foul when things don't go their way.
Maybe it does for some kids, but spanking definitely did not teach me to respect my parents. In fact it made me feel resentful and caused me to lash out more. Luckily my parents picked up on that quickly and tried a new method—talking to me—which worked a lot better. It’s not like my parents only spanked me out of anger either. They really did it with the attempt to teach me a lesson, but I just didn’t respond well to being physically hit. I think there is something to be said for the fact that each kid is different.
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