The first real time study of spanking (ideas, legally, teenage)

[Coldjensens]

Originally Posted by gimme it

I never saw him hitting her. He just yelled and was dragging her out of the store. What I was trying to say is that I don't mind my business.

I don't like seeing anyone mistreated. I remember once being on the subway and a woman hit her child. I can't tell you all of the people that yelled at the mom. I didn't even say a word. Everyone else jumped down her throat. There are many of us out there who will speak up if we see something like this. The bigger issue is that since you have a baby, this is your chance to make a pact with yourself. You can decide to be the best mom in the world. How great would that be for your daughter? If she is 4 or 5 and she's rude to you, all you have to say is, "Don't even think you are going to watch TV for the rest of the day." That works. You let her know that you aren't putting up with her nonsense. Nip it in the bud. No need to hit.

In what world? In my world, she rolls her eyes, laughs and says "I do not want to watch TV anyway. TV is for losers like you. You are so stupid. MY PARENTS ARE SO STUPID STPUID STUPID"

However I doubt many parents bother to swat or pop a kid for rudeness. I generally just ignored them. Or pretended that I thought it was hilarious. Nothing worse than enjoying something that was meant to be hurtful. I might cancel an event if they were rude to others, but rude to me? Laugh about it a couple of times and they give up.

IMO the best mom in the world is consitent, no-nonsense, knows how to figure out what level of discipline is necessary for a given situation and learns to control her emotions. The best mom would not fail to pop her daughter when that daughter insists on repeatedly ramming dog poo into her sister's mouth, or repeatedly throws a brick at the window of the house or something similar. (No you cannot simply pick up the misbehaving child and reward them with attention, your hands are full of bags and another baby and you are pushing a stroller.). A mom who thinks that immeidate, decisive and conclusive action is not sometimes necessary is NOT the best mom IMO. But that also depends on the kid. The best mom learns what is necessary with each different child and does not heistate to apply what that child needs regardless of whether it make mom feel good or not.

[Lucidkitty]

Originally Posted by OhioChic

because sometimes thats the only way some kids get the point. I wish someone would say something to me if they saw me spank MY child in public. Now backhanding isnt spanking thats abuse. But a good smack on the hand or pop to the mouth isnt abuse thats discipline imo. And when it comes to my child my opinion is all that matters.

On the other hand my daughter grabs the pages when I read to her too I dont discipline her I think its cute lol. Now I just read the cardboard books so she cant tear the pages.

It's abuse not discipline don't kid yourself.

[OhioChic]

Originally Posted by Lucidkitty

It's abuse not discipline don't kid yourself.

The law says otherwise. Thanks for your opinion though.

[Lucidkitty]

Originally Posted by OhioChic

Let me get this straight you are comparing a man hitting a woman to a parent poping their child in the mouth?

Why not abuse is abuse. Perhaps fostering the belief that smacking someone in the fact is the way to correct problems can be tied to that somewhat. Maybe not but it pretty much would be assault if you did it to another adult, yet helpless defenseless children it's discipline ?

[Lucidkitty]

Originally Posted by OhioChic

The law says otherwise. Thanks for your opinion though.

Well chances are the law will change in the next 20 years so thank the goddess for that .

[Lucidkitty]

Okay i think i won't post in this thread as i don't feel like seeing it turn into a brawl *kisses*,

[Zimbochick]

I just have no words.....

[Mattie]

Originally Posted by Zimbochick

I just have no words.....

I do. There are far too many parents around who think they are doing the right thing by hitting their children. I have three boys, who were wild at times, and who pushed the limits. I never hit them. Today they are all on the road to success in work and school.

My parents raised 7. I know my father spanked two of my brothers, once each. It was traumatizing for me, because in our family hitting was not allowed. I know it bothered my father until the day he died, even more so than my brothers.

Maybe your child won't be scarred, but you will be, and deservedly so.

[AnnaNomus]

OhioChic, I agree with you that a "pop" in the mouth doesn't constitute abuse...but I do think there are better ways of discipline. A swat on the hand or the butt is one thing, but when you have to hit or "pop" a kid anywhere in the face, it's time to try something else.

I took my dd to her friend's birthday party recently, and witnessed the birthday girl's mother "pop" her upside the head. Like taking her fingers and flicking them against her head. No, it wasn't abuse, the child didn't have a concussion or a bruise, but she looked ashamed and hurt. I don't even remember what the child did or said, I think she snatched a birthday present a little too eagerly, and received a pop right in front of all her friends and guests. It made me feel sad for her, and I could tell it upset my dd too. She kept trying to act silly and make her friend smile, because she sensed her hurt and embarrassment.

I would never step in and tell some stranger what they should or shouldn't do in public with something like that. If I though the child was being beaten or abused I would, but "popping" is a judgment call each parent is entitled to make. I really hope that you choose not to go that route.

[Coldjensens]

Originally Posted by OhioChic

The law says otherwise. Thanks for your opinion though.

Apparently 90% of parents in the USA say otherwise too. According to the article 90% use corporal punshiment in some situations.


Of course that is likely more unsupported generalization based on one or tow examples, just like the rest of the article. Who knows.