Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I said to my husband "is there a true aching need in heart to have more children or do you want more to give DS a sibling?" He thought about it for a few minutes while I explained that if he really feels a need to have another child, I will do that for our family. He came to the conclusion that he feels paternally fulfilled with our child, and feels like our family is complete with the 3 of us. So babymaking is on the back burner. Im only 25. There is nothing that says if we really want to, we cant try anytime in the next 10 years. But I think its just one for us.
Has anyone faced any obstacles with family on this decision? Today I was talking to my sister and told her of our decision and she said she wanted a niece. Its not a big deal, just make a baby. But it is a big deal to me....
We have sat down and talked about it also, my wife is also in school and I am 36yrs, her 31yrs old-my daughter is 6yrs old-now is the time if any. I would not say I feel incomplete with just the three of us but I do know what its like being an only child. Funny you should bring up family, my mom definitely wants another-she says" son, bird does not fly on one wing"-Jamaican accent. She has 5 siblings and my dad has 13-so they are both looking at me like I am crazy worrying about 2.
You should have another child. I grew up as an only child and always wished I had a brother or a sister. The same with a cousin of mine, he was an only child and wished the same. All of my friends were close to their siblings as is everyone else in my family. So I think it's important for children to have siblings.
My wife and I are really considering having another child. We both were only children and know how lonely that gets, also just having a sibling to be there when you need someone to talk to is something we never had and wished we had. So, are there any parents in here that wished they had another child? For those with an older child, do they seem to regret not having a sibling? My biggest worry is financial, being able to take care of another child but I think we will be able to.
I have one child. She will be 21 this year. I always wanted more children, but my marriage did not work out--and I was the sole support of the family and wouldn't be able to stick my mother with another child to watch for me--and by the time I realized it never would, I was already past 40. Even then, I hoped that I'd get a chance to meet someone else and maybe have another child, but it never happened.
When my daughter was very young, she wanted to know why she was the only "one kid" in her school. (She wasn't, there were a few others, but most kids had siblings.) However, by the time she was eight I had had to kick her father to the curb, and we grew close. In addition, though I am one of 7 siblings, two have no children and the other five each have one, so the cousins are close as sisters would be in a "normal" family. As a matter of fact, now that they are adults, they have their "cousins day" once or twice a year where they get together for an overnight or a day together.
By the time she was in high school, she said she was happy to be an only child. I will probably always feel sad that I didn't get the opportunity to have the family I wanted, but I'm grateful to have her and grateful that she does have those cousin relationships so she won't be totally alone when I am dead.
I say if you want another child, go for it. You likely will never regret having the second one, but you might regret not having another one. You'll be able to support the child--lots of people do, and the love is worth more than the material things you can buy.
It goes both ways- good and bad. Not all siblings get along and there is nothing worse than 2 adult siblings fighting over what is best for elderly parents. Thankfully my brother had no interest at all in how our mother was cared for as long as I was doing it. But then his 3rd wife came along, figured out there was some money involved and all of a sudden I was not doing it right. That worked itself out but it was horrible for my mother to see how my brother changed and what he was after.
For myself I always felt having an only child was not a complete family. We adopted when our bio son was only 2 rather than waste years trying to have another child. It took us 5 years just to get him and I was 35 when he was born. Best decision we ever made.
Taking care of my ill mother made us postpone our plans to adopt more children but we eventually did---a bit late but it happened.
When I was talking to a friend about trying for a 2nd child she told me
"With one you can go around the world. With two you can barely get out the front door." Definitely true and something to think about. It's such a personal choice.
There are a million reason not to have another baby. It is hard! But if you had another, you would make it work once you saw that baby.
So, I am an only child.
I had three children. I never wanted to have an "only" child. I will say that the way I "turned out" had much more to do with the kind of people my parents are.
With that in mind, I would recommend having more than one.
People are different, so I'm not going to list a bunch of reasons I think you should, but at times throughout my life with the rest of my family, it would have been nice, and still would be, to have a peer to look at and say, "Does this sound right to you?"
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
I'm an only child. My mother did have a second which ended up dying from health issues after a week. Basically grew up an only child. While I was lonely at times, nothing that having a few friends cant cure. I can't say I regretted going to my childhood an only child. I personally wouldn't advise a second child unless you can raise them in the same financial state without a dropoff as the first one.
I have a brother and sister. We are spread over the country, but it is a comfort that, come what may, they are my family if I need them.
My husband has a sister that is 9 years older than he is. Although they love each other, I know my husband wishes he had a brother near his age.
Although I think only children are happy. When you are older, a sibling is a great comfort. if for no other reason that you can share the burden of the inevitable loss of your parents.
I am an only child and though there were big benefits to it, overall, I feel as though I missed out on a lot. Also, I find now as an adult child it is much harder dealing with my parents as I am the only one for them to lean on; this was unexpected and I wish for a sibling, for many reasons, more so now than ever.
Because of all this, we knew we wanted two kids, at least two kids, was open to more while I was pregnant with the second. After having the second, my husband and I just knew our family was complete. Now having two and seeing them grow and interact together, I cannot ever imagine only having one even being an old child myself, this is proof I missed out on a lot.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
