Finding an End to the Parent-Teacher Wars (bullying, parents, wife)

[Zimbochick]

As with anything, there are exceptions, but this is a great reminder for parents when dealing with teachers:

1. Do not act until the first flush of anger has passed.

2. Often, the best thing a parent can do for her child is allow the student to work things out with the teacher on his own.

3. The best time to conduct a parent-teacher conference is at a formally scheduled parent-teacher conference.

4. Remember that parents and teachers have an interest in common – the student.

Finding an End to the Parent-Teacher Wars - NYTimes.com

[nana053]

Originally Posted by Zimbochick

As with anything, there are exceptions, but this is a great reminder for parents when dealing with teachers:



Finding an End to the Parent-Teacher Wars - NYTimes.com

I like that. Great reminders!

[PoppySead]

Nice! I agree, nice post.

[almost3am]

generally very good advice, which I follow, although I remember when my teacher dumped my desk (because it was unorganized) in 1st grade and had me carry all my books home in a big bag on the bus. She told me my parents needed to sign the bag and bring everything back the next day. My Dad was furious, even though he agreed I needed top be more organized, and had me bring back a big fat letter. I am sure it was an angry letter disagreeing with the discipline technique, but I never knew as it was a sealed letter. I was so happy my parents stuck up for me to my "big mean teacher," which she was, and they dropped me off at school the next day. My desk is still messy 30 some years later, but now at work, even though my home is organized.

Thinking back I understand she wanted my books to be neatly stacked, but my messiness didn't affect my performance, as I got all A's.

[BJW50]

Parents also need to understand that teachers have no say in how the school/ district runs. They don't choose the curriculm, parent-teach conference schudule or anything. That is one gripe my wife has with parents.

[purehuman]

I couldn't get the link to open for me (computer problems)...but I agree with no.1....and no.3.

[purehuman]

no. 2 and number 4...no way.....NJ Father Records Teachers Bullying His Autistic Child (http://www.myfoxphilly.com/dpp/news/local_news/nj-father-records-teachers-bullying-his-autistic-child - broken link)

[LVKim8]

Originally Posted by purehuman

no. 2 and number 4...no way.....NJ Father Records Teachers Bullying His Autistic Child (http://www.myfoxphilly.com/dpp/news/local_news/nj-father-records-teachers-bullying-his-autistic-child - broken link)

Sad, but sometimes true and these cases are not as isolated as one might think.

[Fleur66]

I think there are definitely exceptions. I have little contact with my kids teachers these days, but did go through a period of a few years where there was much that was concerning.

1)Do not act until the first flush of anger has passed....it really depends on what the situation is. I think that would be true most of the time, but I can tell you we've had one major exception to that, relating to some safety issues at our school.

2)As far as the kid working things out...a young child doesn't have the capability to know that their teacher has really wacky views on education, or that he/she should be encouraged to be doing math facts daily, etc.

3)While I'd agree that according to the article the produce aisle is not the best venue for a parent teacher conference, that doesn't mean you can't have interaction with the teacher between conferences.

[Zimbochick]

Originally Posted by purehuman

no. 2 and number 4...no way.....NJ Father Records Teachers Bullying His Autistic Child (http://www.myfoxphilly.com/dpp/news/local_news/nj-father-records-teachers-bullying-his-autistic-child - broken link)

I agreed there were exceptions.

Originally Posted by Fleur66

3)While I'd agree that according to the article the produce aisle is not the best venue for a parent teacher conference, that doesn't mean you can't have interaction with the teacher between conferences.

I think the point of the article was that if you need to discuss something with the teacher between regularly scheduled conferences, then contact the teacher, and set up a meeting.

Most of the teachers in my kids school live in the community. Their kids are on local sports teams, scouts, etc. People often think this is an appropriate time to discuss their own children's issues with the teacher who is there with their own family. My son's 5th grade teacher is a friend of mine. I have made it a point to only discuss my son's school progress with her at mutually agreed upon times, and not when socializing or when our kids have activities together. This is not limited to teachers though, I think etiquette goes a long way.