Alcohol at children's birthday parties (marry, dad, leave, present)

[AnnaNomus]

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

You don't get it. a party is a special occasion at which many often drink. Wanting a drink at a social occasion is not the same as "constantly" needing a dink or being "unwilling to go without" for 2 hours. A party is the only 2 hours of the day, maybe even the whole week that I might have a drink. Wanting a drink at a party doesn't mean the person has been drinking since sun up and must continue at all cost. I'm sick of people who enjoy a social drink being characterized as "sad" people with "issues" or "problems." who must have a drink at all times. I don't think we're the ones with "problems."

Couldn't rep you, but I couldn't agree more. The moral high horse is getting tiresome here. We're talking about social, moderate drinking and have people coming at us like we're getting sloppy drunk and leaving our kids running around unattended while we're passed out in a gutter. These kind of statements must be coming from someone who either has a real problem with alcohol themselves and projecting onto others, or someone who is trying to portray perfect martyrdom parenting..."MY child ALWAYS comes FIRST and I don't even drink WATER for fear of taking my eyes off him for 1 second! Anyone who would dare to indulge themselves in ANY way is NOT the perfect parent that I am!" Blah.

I'm quite sure that the children of social drinkers will turn out just as good as the children of parents who don't drink at all. If you don't drink and have enough sense to realize not all who do are raging alcoholics, and just choose not to yourself, that's one thing. But otherwise, really, the self sacrificial role isn't necessary.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

They were younger than me and a few had bf's/gf's who supplied the alcohol, I never did because I knew how stupid they were. I kept my stuff down in my car and would go out for another so no one could steal mine. They were all over 18 though but complete morons. I could go drink with TG or anyone else I knew who was my age or a few years old it made of world of difference. No one I know who is MY age is that stupid, it's all the 18/19 years old.

in any case, it is irrelevant because we're talking about parents drinking at kids parties.

Originally Posted by jasper12

I guess my question is...if I was dropping my child off at a child's birthday party...I pretty much expect that the parents are going to not be drinking alcohol at the party. Looks like that assumption is incorrect. People would be watching my child, after drinking alcohol? In an unfamiliar home? Not liking that much.

I don't know if it is safe to assume anything. However, I think most posters here see 2 types of kid parties - 1) for kids only, you drop off, or stay if you are more comfortable, but it is not an adult party and 2) a party where parents are meant to stay and join the celebration, and food and drinks will be provided for them.

I would not drink at a party like #1. I would at a party like #2. I'm sure there are people in the world who would drink while they entertain our kids at party #1. I don't think a single poster here has indicated that they do that, or would do that.

[Vic 2.0]

Originally Posted by jasper12

I guess my question is...if I was dropping my child off at a child's birthday party...I pretty much expect that the parents are going to not be drinking alcohol at the party. Looks like that assumption is incorrect. People would be watching my child, after drinking alcohol? In an unfamiliar home? Not liking that much.

I wouldn't just drop my kid off at anyone's house if I didn't know them rather well in the first place. It wouldn't matter if they were ANTI-alcohol and practically Amish. I'd find a way to attend with them, send someone I wholeheartedly trust in my stead, or not let them go. There are soooo many things to worry about, with strangers, even if your kid and their kid are best friends.

On the other hand, if I'd met them and gotten to know them, it wouldn't matter if they had a few drinks. If they were raging alcoholics or the sort to get wild and irresponsible, I should find that out while getting to know them. It's not a quick process, nor should it be. Take it slow. It's the best method for keeping your child safe.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by AnnaNomus

Couldn't rep you, but I couldn't agree more. The moral high horse is getting tiresome here. We're talking about social, moderate drinking and have people coming at us like we're getting sloppy drunk and leaving our kids running around unattended while we're passed out in a gutter. These kind of statements must be coming from someone who either has a real problem with alcohol themselves and projecting onto others, or someone who is trying to portray perfect martyrdom parenting..."MY child ALWAYS comes FIRST and I don't even drink WATER for fear of taking my eyes off him for 1 second! Anyone who would dare to indulge themselves in ANY way is NOT the perfect parent that I am!" Blah.

I'm quite sure that the children of social drinkers will turn out just as good as the children of parents who don't drink at all. If you don't drink and have enough sense to realize not all who do are raging alcoholics, and just choose not to yourself, that's one thing. But otherwise, really, the self sacrificial role isn't necessary.

I have to wonder what kind of social gatherings some people have been to. Have they never ever seen people drinking moderately and responsibly? Has their ONLY experience with alcohol been with people who get falling down drunk? Or have they never been to a party with alcohol at all. Either way

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

I have to wonder what kind of social gatherings some people have been to. Have they never ever seen people drinking moderately and responsibly? Has their ONLY experience with alcohol been with people who get falling down drunk? Or have they never been to a party with alcohol at all. Either way

They just see how SOME people handle their alcohol and what it does to SOME people and just think its better to not drink at all than responsibly.
That's why I told that story of the kids I knew.
They decided to stop having alcohol at their parties because of "what alcohol did to people" I wanted to be like NO....look what YOU'RE doing to that alcohol, why not just learn HOW to drink and not be a buffoon about it.

[mimimomx3]

If I'm a hostess- at any party- I usually don't drink, unless it's a sit down dinner, and then I'll have a glass with the meal so that the guests who want to drink will feel comfortable doing so.

[Zimbochick]

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

I think most posters here see 2 types of kid parties - 1) for kids only, you drop off, or stay if you are more comfortable, but it is not an adult party and 2) a party where parents are meant to stay and join the celebration, and food and drinks will be provided for them.

I would not drink at a party like #1. I would at a party like #2. I'm sure there are people in the world who would drink while they entertain our kids at party #1. I don't think a single poster here has indicated that they do that, or would do that.

Well stated.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by nana053

Boring is a state of mind. Since I enjoy conversing with other adults, I don't find it boring.

Bands and dancing are fun and fine, but they aren't the only kind of fun. Also, if the band is too loud, you can't hear people when you want to talk, so I kind of prefer soft music rather than the loud stuff that people play nowadays to dance to.

Sometimes, events in life really are just boring. Those of us who enjoy dancing and having a bit of fun aren't any less capable of entertaining ourselves than you are.

How is a party quiet anyway?

Originally Posted by Oleg Bach

If you constantly need a reason to drink- maybe you have a problem...and maybe your own pleasures are stronger than your parental instincts?

Again, the word constantly. To describe a two hour event and people's preferences for entertaining. Amazing.

Originally Posted by jasper12

I guess my question is...if I was dropping my child off at a child's birthday party...I pretty much expect that the parents are going to not be drinking alcohol at the party. Looks like that assumption is incorrect. People would be watching my child, after drinking alcohol? In an unfamiliar home? Not liking that much.

If I dropped my child off at a party it would be because I would trust him to make the right decisions and behave appropriately. If I couldn't trust him, he wouldn't go. That's why one of my children has more freedom than the other.

[PoppySead]

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

How can you definitively say that the lack of alcohol is why they would leave??? If it is a party geared at only the kids, then there wouldn't be food for the adults, and adults wouldn't even be expected to stay. Dropping the kids off and coming back later would be appropriate and alcohol or lack of wouldn't have anything to do with it.

They've told me. I have food, just not alcohol. I'm boring.

[PoppySead]

Originally Posted by FinsterRufus

Poppy, I think you have to consider your audience. Do you really think a bunch of people that frequent a parenting site are going to also be hard partiers, as a rule?

I think a person moves beyond the latter when they become the former, generally. Or at least they take a good shot at it. No pun intended.

You're right! I have friends that are "drinkers"
They drink almost everyday, not drunks but just drinkers. They have well over a few drinks at parties. They drink at home almost daily. They also have jobs, families and are nice people.
I just thought people on here might at least know these people. You know, the drinkers. Not the occasional beer at an event. Drinkers, they buy cases at Cosco, those people.