Alcohol at children's birthday parties (better, wedding, control, party)
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Just too bad it's completely off topic as it's not a valid counterpoint to any argument on this thread
Perhaps she was responding to a post I made:
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Several years ago, I volunteered to throw a wedding shower for the daughter of my husband's godparents; she is our age and grew up very close to my husband's family. There were a good 40 people invited, both men and women. We lived in a small apartment at the time, so I initially suggested having it at a local nature preserve, which had a cool party area with a large gazebo and plenty of tables, not to mention parking and bathrooms. I thought it was perfect, but we realized that alcohol was prohibited. "Can't we just not drink?" was rejected as a ludicrous idea, and I had to quash suggestions of smuggling it in, because we could be slapped with a hefty ticket and I'd lose the security deposit if we were caught. We had to hold the party at another location. I love my husband's godparents dearly, but yes, there are people out there who cannot fathom or tolerate a few hours without alcohol.
I wrote that in response to a few posts in which people said that nobody needs alcohol, so it's all in good fun. I know people who do need alcohol--I'm related to several of them. So "nobody said that" ... yeah, somebody did say that. And it is sad, just like Stan said.
I don't serve alcohol at a kid's party, so I understand the perspective of people who think it's odd to do so. I don't think it's wrong to drink or serve alcohol, but I understand why some parents choose not to.
What kind of sad people have to have alcohol at any and all functions in order to have a good time?
Sad.
There is a difference between NEED and WANT. I don't NEED to have a glass of wine at a party, but I'm happy to drink it if I'm not driving or I don't need to operate heavy machinery. It's legal, you see.
I wrote that in response to a few posts in which people said that nobody needs alcohol, so it's all in good fun. I know people who do need alcohol--I'm related to several of them. So "nobody said that" ... yeah, somebody did say that. And it is sad, just like Stan said.
I don't serve alcohol at a kid's party, so I understand the perspective of people who think it's odd to do so. I don't think it's wrong to drink or serve alcohol, but I understand why some parents choose not to.
I still think you are misconstruing the message. It was an adult occasion being celebrated by adults and the guests of honor wanted alcohol to be a part of it. It may have been kind of rude to poo poo your location, since you were the host, but I don't think they would have not shown up if you had it at your location w/o alcohol. (IIRC you ended up with a location where they could have alcohol, right? So you'll never really know). It's not a matter of not being able to go without. It is a matter of enjoying a drink and wanting (not HAVING to have) a certain kind of party.
I still think you are misconstruing the message. It was an adult occasion being celebrated by adults and the guests of honor wanted alcohol to be a part of it. It may have been kind of rude to poo poo your location, since you were the host, but I don't think they would have not shown up if you had it at your location w/o alcohol. (IIRC you ended up with a location where they could have alcohol, right? So you'll never really know). It's not a matter of not being able to go without. It is a matter of enjoying a drink and wanting (not HAVING to have) a certain kind of party.
I know them very well. They are my in-laws' best friends, and my husband has known them since he was five. My in-laws are the same way, and I could tell many stories. The lot of them are the reason my husband does not drink anymore. They're also the reason he started in the first place.
I know them very well. They are my in-laws' best friends, and my husband has known them since he was five. My in-laws are the same way, and I could tell many stories. The lot of them are the reason my husband does not drink anymore. They're also the reason he started in the first place.
But that's your husband's family....not everyone is like that, not even close. You can't assume that because a minority of people can't handle their alcohol no one can.
But people who find that it would be a part of the occasion which would be customary
Like going to a wedding reception at a facility and not having a band/DJ/music of any kind .... I could see many people saying that they would find it odd and would stick around longer if there was that entertainment
Even look at your post:
Quote:
Several years ago, I volunteered to throw a wedding shower for the daughter of my husband's godparents ...... There were a good 40 people invited, both men and women.
OK, so it's a party that will serve to a mix of 40 people of mix gender - all adults. There are norms for certain types of functions. Wedding shower definitely will draw pre-conceived notions of what is expected. You can stray from what is expected and that's great - but recognize what is there.
Quote:
so I initially suggested having it at a local nature preserve, which had a cool party area with a large gazebo and plenty of tables, not to mention parking and bathrooms. I thought it was perfect,
A wedding shower at a nature preserve isn't exactly standard. Again, that is all well and fine - just realize that certain people may not be on board. When you have a mixed group of 40 it can be even more difficult. What one group find cool, another could find to be lame.
Quote:
. "Can't we just not drink?" was rejected as a ludicrous idea, and I had to quash suggestions of smuggling it in, because we could be slapped with a hefty ticket and I'd lose the security deposit if we were caught.
Personally, I think if you are handing over the responsibility of planning it's best to keep your mouth shut to a degree and roll with the punches - or else just plan the thing yourself. However, I definitely can see how the parents of the women the shower is for would want their imput accounted for and they would know the audience pretty well and what their expectations are.
Quote:
We had to hold the party at another location. I love my husband's godparents dearly, but yes, there are people out there who cannot fathom or tolerate a few hours without alcohol.
What was this other location? Did it allow alcohol? Did everyone have a good time? Did the bride to be and her husband have a good time?
That is the important part
No where in that story does it say that they had to have alcohol or that they couldn't go a few hours without it.
Just that for the celebration of their daughters forthcoming wedding that will be attended by 40 adults - presumably most family & friends of mixed gender - they would prefer a venue that didn't restrict what they could drink.
You tried to sell something that went against their expectations and an unconvential venue .... it didn't work
While it may be a touch rude to delegate party planning and then take a heavy role into it - nothing indicates that they couldn't live without alcohol
Just that for this (hopefully) once and a lifetime event they would like to be able to have a glass or wine, beer, etc and celebrate the start of their daughters next stage in life with their family & friends and didn't want some place to tell them what they could & couldn't drink
But that's your husband's family....not everyone is like that, not even close. You can't assume that because a minority of people can't handle their alcohol no one can.
Exactly
Not to mention that an ancedote about a wedding reception that had to be moved to an alcohol friendly venue is exactly an argument that people who desire to have drinks at a party or would serve drinks at a party feel that they must have alcohol at the party and couldn't go a few hours without it
But that's your husband's family....not everyone is like that, not even close. You can't assume that because a minority of people can't handle their alcohol no one can.
I don't assume that. I handle alcohol fine. I was answering the statements that there aren't really people who need alcohol at a party.
I choose not to serve alcohol to people I barely know at short, casual events like a three-hour birthday party for children, and I gave my reasons for it. If others choose to do so, no big deal, like I said.
I guess I did not explain correctly...if it is a CHILD's birthday party, with lots of other kids, and the adults are there to provide support for activities for the children, no alcohol.
But why not? Is it that you think the adults won't be paying attention or interacting with their kids if they have a couple beers, or that they're just not supposed to have fun, or...? Because again, that should sift into eating, drinking, being merry in any way, shape, or form. Talking with one another might distract them so the poor kids are completely ignored.
I'm just looking for a little consistency in the social norms we come up with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
If it is an opportunity for folks to get together, not organized activities for children, where adults are hanging out...have a beer. But designate who is watching the kids, whether it is Mom or Dad...especially if there is a pool around. One person has to be the designated driver, and kid watcher.
This is a good idea. But then, I think it's a good idea whether there's any alcohol present or not. I've seen many parents completely neglect to watch their children when there isn't a beer in sight. Some parents are just not vigilant enough. Can't be blamed on anything but the parent, imo.
I don't assume that. I handle alcohol fine. I was answering the statements that there aren't really people who need alcohol at a party.
I choose not to serve alcohol to people I barely know at short, casual events like a three-hour birthday party for children, and I gave my reasons for it. If others choose to do so, no big deal, like I said.
I have to agree with Julia, there are definitely people who need/expect alcohol at every event. No doubt.
Not saying that anybody here has to have it, or that you shouldn't have it.
But there's not really any question that there are people who want to drink at every occasion regardless of what it's for, and will be quite pouty and difficult if they don't get it. Or some people have a hard time socially without a little lubrication. It happens.
I can see how a bunch of family that's used to it would not react kindly to going without, even for a couple of hours for a kid's party.
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