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I just found out that my son has been lying to me all this week about going to tutoring after school.
Last week, he recieved an Unsatisfactory, for Algebra, on his Progress Report. I told him that he needs to go to tutoring after school everyday so that he can get higher grades on his tests.
Well, starting this Monday, he has been telling me that he's been staying after school for tutoring. I asked him what he did and he would tell me (a fib) about what they went over everyday.
I spoke with his teacher today and she told me that he has NEVER been to tutoring after school!! I asked him why he lied to me and he said that he had been studying on his own and didn't think that he needed to go to tutoring, but he didn't tell me because I would get mad at him.
I can not believe he sat there and lied to me ALL week long instead of just telling me. So he will be staying in his room, no TV, no phone, no nothing, all weekend. He will not be allowed out AT ALL....only to eat and use the bathroom, and he will need to ask me first!
Does this punishment sound too harsh? Has anyone else gone through this with their teen?
Yea, Its a little over the top. Did he take the re-test yet? How did he do? Maybe he was studying and did ok and wanted to show you he could improve it on his own.
I would take away his Phone or Xbox for the weekend.
I just found out that my son has been lying to me all this week about going to tutoring after school.
Last week, he recieved an Unsatisfactory, for Algebra, on his Progress Report. I told him that he needs to go to tutoring after school everyday so that he can get higher grades on his tests.
Well, starting this Monday, he has been telling me that he's been staying after school for tutoring. I asked him what he did and he would tell me (a fib) about what they went over everyday.
I spoke with his teacher today and she told me that he has NEVER been to tutoring after school!! I asked him why he lied to me and he said that he had been studying on his own and didn't think that he needed to go to tutoring, but he didn't tell me because I would get mad at him.
I can not believe he sat there and lied to me ALL week long instead of just telling me. So he will be staying in his room, no TV, no phone, no nothing, all weekend. He will not be allowed out AT ALL....only to eat and use the bathroom, and he will need to ask me first!
Does this punishment sound too harsh? Has anyone else gone through this with their teen?
No it doesn't sound too harsh. Are you any good at algebra? How about making him work on his algebra homework as well and you could help him?
Did you ever establish whether he had been studying by himself? Surely he would have some sort of physical evidence of this if he had...? Perhaps he was uneasy about the idea of needing/being seen to need tutoring?
I probably wouldn't be so harsh with the staying in the room side of things.
In our family lying is considered very serious the kids receive the paddle.
go on crucify me.
In my view parents need to step up to the mark & take control. All this pussyfooting around with long drawn out complicated consequences and excuses. We need to set the standards for behaviour. Live those standards. Be proud of those standards and instil them in our kids.
I am one who had a pretty low tolerance level for lying, but I agree with the ones who say this may be a little too much. I would definitely ground and make it hurt. However, our method was less severe but I think it may have been a bit longer than 2 days. In other words, we did have to do a couple of "serious groundings" but I think we allowed TV etc. He was also certainly welcome to come out and socialize with us too.but he could go nowhere, ( again except with us!) and friends could not come over. Being very social, this hit him where it hurt sufficiently but was not IMO TOO severe.
I just found out that my son has been lying to me all this week about going to tutoring after school.
Last week, he recieved an Unsatisfactory, for Algebra, on his Progress Report. I told him that he needs to go to tutoring after school everyday so that he can get higher grades on his tests.
Well, starting this Monday, he has been telling me that he's been staying after school for tutoring. I asked him what he did and he would tell me (a fib) about what they went over everyday.
I spoke with his teacher today and she told me that he has NEVER been to tutoring after school!! I asked him why he lied to me and he said that he had been studying on his own and didn't think that he needed to go to tutoring, but he didn't tell me because I would get mad at him.
I can not believe he sat there and lied to me ALL week long instead of just telling me. So he will be staying in his room, no TV, no phone, no nothing, all weekend. He will not be allowed out AT ALL....only to eat and use the bathroom, and he will need to ask me first!
Does this punishment sound too harsh? Has anyone else gone through this with their teen?
I don't tolerate lying either. I agree w/ the no TV, phone but locking him in the room all weekend isn't the way I would go. I want my teenager to find comfort in her room, not feel likes it's a prison. It's also harder to know what your son is doing in his room. I've punished my daughter before, and I have her sit right at the table in the breakfast room where I can observe her studies. My husband has even pulled a chair up right next to her to test what she's learned. I also put her to work w/ some extra chores.
Does this punishment sound too harsh? Has anyone else gone through this with their teen?
Not at all. Its not enough. What he did is inexcuseable. He wasted your money and he got bad grades, which won't help him with his career and then he'll end up back in your house sponging off of you when he gets fired for lying on the job. I wouldn't lock him in his room like the above poster said. That's too comfortable. I'd have him doing chores all weekend, starting at 5 am.
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but he could go nowhere, ( again except with us!) and friends could not come over. Being very social, this hit him where it hurt sufficiently but was not IMO TOO severe.