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Old 04-26-2012, 08:49 PM
Status: "Current ear worm - charming Billy..." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,795 posts, read 15,900,755 times
Reputation: 11364
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
She makes a good point with the 3rd one one to be honest.
Yes, she does....so why does this bug me? Seriously, if she were inclined to do anything, she's had ample opportunity.

I really do trust her but I feel the need to hover here....I think they just want to have an all night bon fire. I think they think it would be cool. Truth is, they'd, likely get tired before 2:00 AM.

I did suggest that she plan a sleep over here and I'll talk to the other parents about letting them go to a late bonfire. I'll stay up and drive them over here around 1:00 or 2:00.
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Old 04-26-2012, 08:52 PM
 
2,894 posts, read 4,021,890 times
Reputation: 3938
I have a 14 yr old daughter who is a great kid, is a top student, has zero interest in boys and has a great group of friends. And for what it's worth ....I have 2 other daughters already grown.

I would not agree to an overnight mixed party at this point. As much as I know and trust her it does not compensate for how much I don't know or trust everyone else that plans to attend. I might agree to her attending until midnight, depending on what else I know about all involved.

If they were so very set on an all nighter, then they can have it at my house and I can supervise.

Having an older brother that he is staying with means nothing to me unless he is considerably older and has his own kids.

I wrote some other stuff, but then I realized that I likely would't find myself in this position because my 14 yr old knows already that a party like this would not be appropriate at her age, so she wouldn't even bother asking to go and stay all night.
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Old 04-26-2012, 08:53 PM
Status: "Current ear worm - charming Billy..." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,795 posts, read 15,900,755 times
Reputation: 11364
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
You clearly didn't read.
The boy throwing the party is being made to go back and live with his dysfunctional mother and her revolving door of crotch pheasant boyfriends.
The boy lives with his older brother.
Sadly that sums it up. He's a, remarkably, nice kid given the mess he's grown up with. I guess some kids look at chitty parents and learn what not to do.
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Old 04-26-2012, 08:56 PM
Status: "Current ear worm - charming Billy..." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,795 posts, read 15,900,755 times
Reputation: 11364
Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
I have a 14 yr old daughter who is a great kid, is a top student, has zero interest in boys and has a great group of friends. And for what it's worth ....I have 2 other daughters already grown.

I would not agree to an overnight mixed party at this point. As much as I know and trust her it does not compensate for how much I don't know or trust everyone else that plans to attend. I might agree to her attending until midnight, depending on what else I know about all involved.

If they were so very set on an all nighter, then they can have it at my house and I can supervise.

Having an older brother that he is staying with means nothing to me unless he is considerably older and has his own kids.

I wrote some other stuff, but then I realized that I likely would't find myself in this position because my 14 yr old knows already that a party like this would not be appropriate at her age, so she wouldn't even bother asking to go and stay all night.
It's more like sitting around the camp fire until the wee hours of the morning when you're camping than a party that they want. Their thing to do, on the weekends, is to sit around the fire pit until the girls have to go home. The boys sometimes stay the night and stay up all night doing this and playing games. The girls think they're missing out.
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:14 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,438 posts, read 3,050,302 times
Reputation: 2396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
It's more like sitting around the camp fire until the wee hours of the morning when you're camping than a party that they want. Their thing to do, on the weekends, is to sit around the fire pit until the girls have to go home. The boys sometimes stay the night and stay up all night doing this and playing games. The girls think they're missing out.
And they are.
Coming from a girl who's gotten to see what hilarity ensues into the wee hours of the morning they are. We never got into any trouble or did anything wrong, granted we were slightly older but that also meant we were more inclined to.
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Old 04-27-2012, 01:43 AM
 
Location: Bedford, TX
25 posts, read 12,997 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
You're one of those people who lives a life dictated by strict rules and guidelines, maybe one day you'll realize life is too short and that you have to let loose and have fun and enjoy every minute of life like its your last.

The OP's kid sounds like a smart girl, she did ask after all so that says a lot about the relationship between the mother and daughter.
If the OP's daughter has a cell phone she can just take it with her and if anything comes up call her mom.

Boys and girls can be just friends, they CAN have sleepovers and not do anything.
Parents think the worst and that once they leave them unsupervised they'll all strip and it'll be orgy time.
Just what I need, life advice from a 20something.

You obviously don't have kids.

The fact is (not that it is any of your business), I was once a 14 year old boy. Though, I wouldn't have tried instigating anything (sexual) myself, I don't know I would have turn down the opportunity had the stars aligned. I once had a wild side. In my late teen/early 20's. The details of which, I won't get into in a public forum, but I grew up and grew out of it. When I got married, I put all that behind me. I don't drink, don't cheat, and haven't gotten into trouble since.

So while you may think you know me, you don't. I would think it would take reading more than one post on a message board to know someone.

BTW, I have a 12 year old daughter who is a good kid too. She would never ask (or even want to), but if she did, I wouldn't let her go to a mixed sleepover.

Someone put it to me this way one time in a similar discussion. It's not that you don't trust your kids to do the right things and stay safe and out of trouble. It's just that you didn't raise the other kids involved so you would never trust the other kids the way you trust your own. Why allow them to be in a vulnerable position in the first place?

The most important advice though is this. And pardon me, as I don't know your beliefs OP. If you believe in God, pray about this. Ask God to show you the right answer. I just prayed for you and your daughter and the other kids.

God Bless.
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Old 04-27-2012, 03:23 AM
 
885 posts, read 650,647 times
Reputation: 718
I had female friends at age 13/14/15/16+ who would have sleep overs and invite us over. Maybe we're just more advanced around here, but many a young lady lost their virginity at these parties..

They were all great girls too, very trust worthy, but all they needed was a beer or two or three and clothes just started coming off....... it was, amazing.
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:11 AM
 
Location: hunt valley
5,562 posts, read 2,473,066 times
Reputation: 2684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super B View Post
Just what I need, life advice from a 20something.

You obviously don't have kids.

The fact is (not that it is any of your business), I was once a 14 year old boy. Though, I wouldn't have tried instigating anything (sexual) myself, I don't know I would have turn down the opportunity had the stars aligned. I once had a wild side. In my late teen/early 20's. The details of which, I won't get into in a public forum, but I grew up and grew out of it. When I got married, I put all that behind me. I don't drink, don't cheat, and haven't gotten into trouble since.
Then why mention it to make a point ? I fail to see what having kids has to do with the advice of this situation. If anything txt might be a bit better authority on what goes on at these kinds of parties as she is not as far removed from them as some parents. I also fail to see how the wild side would only be triggered by hanging out with boys. Believe me girls hanging out engage in some incredibly dumb things themselves. You are assuming because at 18 you were wild that your child would be as well.

BTW, I have a 12 year old daughter who is a good kid too. She would never ask (or even want to), but if she did, I wouldn't let her go to a mixed sleepover.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super B View Post
Someone put it to me this way one time in a similar discussion. It's not that you don't trust your kids to do the right things and stay safe and out of trouble. It's just that you didn't raise the other kids involved so you would never trust the other kids the way you trust your own. Why allow them to be in a vulnerable position in the first place?
Obviously you don't because you stated the impetus behind you not allowing your daughter is do to the fact you were a wild teen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super B View Post
The most important advice though is this. And pardon me, as I don't know your beliefs OP. If you believe in God, pray about this. Ask God to show you the right answer. I just prayed for you and your daughter and the other kids.

God Bless.
God isn't going to the party as he didn't RSVP.
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:11 AM
 
Location: Bedford, TX
25 posts, read 12,997 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blazah1080 View Post
I had female friends at age 13/14/15/16+ who would have sleep overs and invite us over. Maybe we're just more advanced around here, but many a young lady lost their virginity at these parties..

They were all great girls too, very trust worthy, but all they needed was a beer or two or three and clothes just started coming off....... it was, amazing.
That's prolly the way I would have put it at that age. Now I see it written and just just have to SMH.
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:12 AM
 
Location: hunt valley
5,562 posts, read 2,473,066 times
Reputation: 2684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blazah1080 View Post
I had female friends at age 13/14/15/16+ who would have sleep overs and invite us over. Maybe we're just more advanced around here, but many a young lady lost their virginity at these parties..

They were all great girls too, very trust worthy, but all they needed was a beer or two or three and clothes just started coming off....... it was, amazing.
You seem to have this general theme in every post so i'm starting to think you are simply 16 yourself to keep posting these deluded ideas. While some teens engage in sexual activity at 14 it's farrrrrrrr from the norm.
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