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My almost 6yo daughter has a little blister between her toes that is bothering her, and today she has gym class, and was saying that she could do gym but would just run slowly. Like her friend S. S can't run very fast because she is fat.
And my husband was all: "Don't say people are fat. It's not nice." etc.
I'm more inclined to say "Don't use fat as an insult" rather than "Don't say fat at all".
She was just making an observation about her friend. And it is true. And she was saying it at home, to us, not at school in front of her friend. I'm afraid if we stigmatize the word fat so much that we can't say it, we make it out like being fat is such a terrible thing. Right now, for her it is just another descriptor, like being tall or having blonde hair.
What do you teach your kids about using the word "fat"?
I've taught my children that it's not polite to call people fat. Fat is a negative term when used to describe people. If she sees no problem using the word at home do you think she would know that it is not appropriate to use it at school or to her friend directly? I understand you not wanting to make it sound like being fat is a terrible thing to her but the fact is many people think it is a terrible thing and use the word fat as a way to show their disdain or to just be outright mean. I think using other terms and reinforcing the fact that people come in all different sizes, shapes, colors, and so forth would be better than trying to pretend fat is not a bad word.
My almost 6yo daughter has a little blister between her toes that is bothering her, and today she has gym class, and was saying that she could do gym but would just run slowly. Like her friend S. S can't run very fast because she is fat.
And my husband was all: "Don't say people are fat. It's not nice." etc.
I'm more inclined to say "Don't use fat as an insult" rather than "Don't say fat at all".
She was just making an observation about her friend. And it is true. And she was saying it at home, to us, not at school in front of her friend. I'm afraid if we stigmatize the word fat so much that we can't say it, we make it out like being fat is such a terrible thing. Right now, for her it is just another descriptor, like being tall or having blonde hair.
What do you teach your kids about using the word "fat"?
I try to use the term, "overweight". My thin daughter has a friend who is heavy and on a couple of occasions she has told me that I was being mean when she overhead me talking to my husband about this girl's weight problem. She's very politically correct
Fat is not a bad word unless used to be mean by calling someone fat. All you have to do is say to your daughter that calling someone fat is not nice, problem solved.
This was a dilemma for us also, because my dd didn't think of 'fat' as an insult. When she was an infant, she was fat, and I always told her, "you were the fattest, cutest baby!" So she kind of thought of it as a compliment. She had an overweight teacher in daycare, and one day while leaving she hugged her teacher and said lovingly, "Ms. Susie, you're so nice and fat!" Thankfully, the teacher just laughed and said, "yes, I sure am!" But I had to tell her that she shouldn't call people fat, that it might hurt their feelings, and while I thought that her being a fat baby was cute, once people are older they might feel uncomfortable about it and not want to be called fat. I told her to say "cuddly" instead.
I still call her a fat baby though. Can't help it, she was!
yes fat is a bad word. it is used negatively in our society. I have to compare it to the use of the word retarded. you should teach your child that her friend is bigger or slower or built differently but don't let her think fat is ok to use even at home.
same for the word skinny. my girls are extremely thin and I have used words like slim, tiny, little but not skinny cause even though it seems skinny is the ideal body type our society strives for, using words like that seems to perpetuate that there is something wrong with that body type. there are all sorts of body types and we need to teach our children this is what makes our world so great.
I tell my girls all the time "Imagine how boring the world would be if we all looked alike and had the same opinions and all acted the same way."
First, I tell my daughter that it's not nice to talk about people behind their backs. In general, I tell her it's not nice to mention how other people look unless it's meant to be a compliment. Regarding the term, fat, I tell her that's not a nice word to use that word to describe someone.
I would say that referring to someone as fat isnt the best way to say it. She is overweight. Other posters are correct, fat is negatively construed. Just like retarded, people who are truly "retarded" have a retardation in some capacity. But they are disabled or differently abled because of the negative connotation of retarded.
I wouldn't use the word fat, although I still hear may kids using that word. Parents need to refrain from the use of the word too, to make an impact. It's one of the top causes kids are bullied, being called fat.
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