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I would be miffed. I can see small items here and there. But a really big gift like that is strange. She should have given it to both of them. Actually, I'd probably not be thrilled at such a big gift for no reason at all.
But let your husband deal with uncomfortable conversations with his Mother.
Since you don't know what prompted her gift, maybe the best thing would be to have hubs ask her. (I don't recommend confrontation) She may have a perfectly valid explanation. Maybe your younger son mentioned at one point that brother had a DS and he wanted one too. Maybe in MIL's opinion, both boys should have the same toy. Maybe she won it in a raffle. But have your hubs talk to her about it. And once you know the motivation, it will justify your forgiveness or your umbrage.
Of course, you have a better handle on her behavior than we do. So maybe you should be miffed. But don't waste your "miff" until you know for sure you need it.
She bought it brand new from Toys R Us. I spoke to ODS this morning because the main reason I was angry was for him. However, he said he didn't feel left out and that they could share it. (He has the regular DS and new one is 3DS) ODS is very mature (more mature than me? LOL) so as long as he is ok with it, I'm not gonna make a huge stink about it.
DH is going to just mention something in passing next time he talks to MIL only because they already have the Wii, PS2, a DSi and the touch tablet. She and FIL have a tendency to "out-do" us though we don't believe that is her intention.
She and FIL have a tendency to "out-do" us though we don't believe that is her intention.
Ugh. My own mom does this, and it is baffling and infuriating. My husband and I had this sort of timeline of when we wanted to roll out various tech gadgets with our boys in order to both monitor their appropriate usage and keep holidays and birthdays fun for them, since tween and teen boys are hard to buy for.
One Christmas, my parents show up with a laptop for each older boy (youngest is MUCH younger and not at that level). But it was two years before we thought they should be getting laptops.
It led to all kinds of problems for us, including one kid looking at free porn sites for a week or so before we figured it out. We had to immediately come up with a new set of rules and enforcement and etc. I was SO pissed.
I never told my parents, though, because #1 My dad would have DIED if he knew his grandson had seen porn on something he had given him, and #2 Their intentions were good. They thought they were giving the boys an exciting gift that "all modern kids" need. I think they also thought we couldn't afford it.
You should only bring a present for the birthday child. Like posters have said to give the expectation you'll always receive a gift from on someone else's birthday is too much.
Be happy your MIL is involved and brought a gift! Many don't even do that.
It was not for a birthday, or any special occasion.
Is the son that she bought for her biological grandson and the other one is not? I'm not suggesting in any way that what she did was right; it was horrible, but some people are very weird that way.
Ugh. My own mom does this, and it is baffling and infuriating. My husband and I had this sort of timeline of when we wanted to roll out various tech gadgets with our boys in order to both monitor their appropriate usage and keep holidays and birthdays fun for them, since tween and teen boys are hard to buy for.
One Christmas, my parents show up with a laptop for each older boy (youngest is MUCH younger and not at that level). But it was two years before we thought they should be getting laptops.
It led to all kinds of problems for us, including one kid looking at free porn sites for a week or so before we figured it out. We had to immediately come up with a new set of rules and enforcement and etc. I was SO pissed.
I never told my parents, though, because #1 My dad would have DIED if he knew his grandson had seen porn on something he had given him, and #2 Their intentions were good. They thought they were giving the boys an exciting gift that "all modern kids" need. I think they also thought we couldn't afford it.
Parenting is not for sissies.
Yep, this describes us as well. We know that MIL and FIL aren't deviously planning how to make DH and I look bad. It would almost be easier if they were! We know they are intending to be nice to the kids when they do this kind of thing, but UGH!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach
Is the son that she bought for her biological grandson and the other one is not? I'm not suggesting in any way that what she did was right; it was horrible, but some people are very weird that way.
I would tell mother in law that she is not to bring an expensive gift for one child and not the other-- unannounced or not tied to a holiday or whatever-- or the gift will be refused. I would probably take the DS to TRU, return it for a store credit and buy BOTH kids something with the credit. Then tell mother in law that you did just that.
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