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I should create a group. I'll call it "Responsive Parents." Responsive means responding when your child is hungry, cold, or dirty. We bathe our children and make sure they have clean clothes, and we make sure they are fed 3 times a day. This subgroup of parents has discovered THE way to raise children.
Makes as much sense to me as "attachment parents." Does this group feel they have discovered the meaning of life or something? They make certain choices for their children that are nothing that parents haven't been doing already since forever. I truly don't understand what the big deal is, other than a group of people that want to put themselves on a higher level than ordinary parents. As far as I am concerned, any parent can be just as "attached" to their children as AP parents, whether or not they breastfed, co-sleep, or wear their babies constantly.
..... Who is the one arbiter of the one true AP ... and who is the fanatic?
The fanatics buy into a lot of myths regarding AP and think that AP is a list of things that they must do. They co-sleep, even if it's not working for them. They "wear" the baby all day even when their back really hurts. They won't leave their baby even if baby seems fine with it. They not only breastfeed but they judge anyone who doesn't. I would say the true AP parent responds to their baby's needs instinctively. If they want to co-sleep but realize that baby sleeps sounder in his or her own bed then they move baby to his or her own bed and they don't feel guilty about it, they feel happy that baby is sleeping better and they are sleeping better. They pick up their baby when baby cries and they see baby wearing as a useful tool but they don't hold baby 24/7. They feed their baby with love and care, breast or bottle and understand that everyone's circumstances are different and do not judge those who do things differently.
I've always thought of AP as being "extreme" in and of itself. I suppose there could be people all over the spectrum, but I doubt the true AP'ers would count the less extreme to be true AP'ers.
The true APers would roll their eyes at the fanatical APers
It is a goofy way to describe it but I don't know of a better word.
Yah I get that. At the heart of the point of the attachment that is supposed to be attachment parenting? That stunk. And you still can't find a good short hand for that.
The true APers would roll their eyes at the fanatical APers
so what does an "true" AP'er do? I honestly want to know. Maybe I've had the wrong impression of it.
Can you be an AP and feed on a schedule?
not co-sleep?
work during the first year and send the baby to day care?
use a stroller? a bouncy seat?
Get a sitter and go on a date?
Can you be an AP and feed on a schedule? No
not co-sleep? Yes
work during the first year and send the baby to day care? Yes
use a stroller? a bouncy seat? Yes
Get a sitter and go on a date? Yes
My experience shares some similarities. I followed my instincts and that led to AP type of parenting. I turned to books only because people around me were telling me I was "doing it wrong" and the books provided reassurance that what I was doing was actually ok.
I agree with this exactly. Reading books and finding a like-minded community reassured me that what I was doing was okay. Considering that my parents and in-laws and mainstream society didn't think so, that was valuable. It also gave me other ideas on how to deal with certain things that I hadn't thought of yet in a way that also felt comfortable to me.
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