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A lot of people shouldn't have to be in the situations they are in but they are and instead of sitting around feeling sorry for themselves they do something about it to get through it and that doesn't always include trying to teach everyone a lesson.
If I had a kid and they were being beat up in school, I sure as hell would stand up for them.
If my kid was pantsed as a joke I would explain to them I have had it done to me before, yes it is embarrassing but its nothing to dwell on and that the sooner THEY get over it the sooner it will pass and then arm them with a barrage of comebacks for people who still were being jerks.
No they shouldn't have to deal with it but the more you bring attention to those situations the worse those kids get, trust me bring mommy, daddy and the school, the police and lawyers into it is just going to make those kids have more against the child, the more reason you give them to do something again.
You comfort your child, help them get through it and hopefully those kids will eventually back off.
Do you have kids in school yet? Especially, kids who are starting to go through puberty? At that age and especially for a boy, being pantsed is a big deal...as females we're lucky, if someone pulls down our pants then our most private parts are mostly hidden but for a boy it's all out there on display. And by 7th grade, some boys have started developing a lot and others haven't.
I told my daughter about this topic, and she said that if it happened to her, she would just come home and drop dead, because she'd never set foot in that school again. It is a big deal at that age, you can't just laugh it off and tell your kid to get over it and forget it ever happened.
The school won't usually give out the last name of the kid who did it, or any information about where they live, etc. So unless your kid knows the last name and knows where they live, the police can't do much.
"Won't usually"? Not that I advocate calling the cops here, but why would a school not cooperate with police?
"Won't usually"? Not that I advocate calling the cops here, but why would a school not cooperate with police?
They're mistaken. The school doesn't give that info out to the parents or the child or anyone else like that but if the cops were to come to the school they LEGALLY would have to give over the information because they could get charged with interfering with a police investigation.
"Won't usually"? Not that I advocate calling the cops here, but why would a school not cooperate with police?
Maybe it works differently other places. I called the police because of something that happened to my child and all I had was the child's first name, the grade, school and classroom they were in, and the police said without more information, they couldn't do anything. I went to the school for the information and they wouldn't give it to me, said they couldn't release the names of students in that situation. I wasn't going to press charges, I just wanted to make a report of the incident in case we had any future problems. The school kept me from being able to do that.
The police here are not very helpful, I don't live in city limits so it's just the county deputies and they wouldn't even arrest the man who had climbed my locked gate and was trying to get into my house through the back door.
Maybe it works differently other places. I called the police because of something that happened to my child and all I had was the child's first name, the grade, school and classroom they were in, and the police said without more information, they couldn't do anything. I went to the school for the information and they wouldn't give it to me, said they couldn't release the names of students in that situation. I wasn't going to press charges, I just wanted to make a report of the incident in case we had any future problems. The school kept me from being able to do that.
The police here are not very helpful, I don't live in city limits so it's just the county deputies and they wouldn't even arrest the man who had climbed my locked gate and was trying to get into my house through the back door.
Your willingness to laugh at things that are done to you does not justify this whatsoever.
I believe there should be options presented to the thug and his parents.
1. He writes a heartfelt apology which is reviewed and also reviewed and approved of by the victim and then he must give the apology in front of 100s, apologize for being a stupid jerk and how much he regrets his actions -- in front of the same 100s.
2. If he doesn't want to do that then alternative school until he learns a little socialization that he's obviously never learned. Alternative school isn't for "bad" kids, it's for kids who have behavior problems that hopefully can be turned around.
Agreed. The perpetrator should be made to publicly apologies and HE should be taken down a few notches.
He might be a perfect alternarive for an alt school. A sadist.
Does no one care what the boy wants (other than the OP of course, who seems to be handling things just fine)? What if he doesn't want the police called or doesn't want to move to a different school? Would you force your child to start legal proceedings or seek a public apology if that wasn't what he wanted?
The reason for all this debate is a paradox. The best solution is to ensure the offender that this is a big deal (through punishment) and to ensure the victim that it is not.
Sure, the OP should demonstrate sympathy and understanding. But that is to immediately follow hearing the news. And all the while, he should be reminded his feelings are normal, but this event cannot possibly harm him if he keeps his spirits up.
Maybe it works differently other places. I called the police because of something that happened to my child and all I had was the child's first name, the grade, school and classroom they were in, and the police said without more information, they couldn't do anything. I went to the school for the information and they wouldn't give it to me, said they couldn't release the names of students in that situation. I wasn't going to press charges, I just wanted to make a report of the incident in case we had any future problems. The school kept me from being able to do that.
The police here are not very helpful, I don't live in city limits so it's just the county deputies and they wouldn't even arrest the man who had climbed my locked gate and was trying to get into my house through the back door.
OK, I see. Perhaps it has something to do with pressing charges, which seems like it would entail an arrest or a warrant. I think if the police had a warrant, the school would comply.
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