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Haven't read a lot of this thread, but this should not be treated as a joke, or something which can be shrugged off. The son needs to look them squarely in the eyes and tell them to leave him alone from now on. No jokes, no displays of manhood. If it doesn't end, or if in the time between then and the end of school it doesn't, the parents need a talk with the principal.
My son didn't live with me, but with family. But we had a close relationship and was going to a really good school with his aunt and uncle. Then, he stated staying home from school, not doing homework, and his grades crashed. Then he quit high school in his senior year. He wouldn't say why. A converted Mormon, he went on his mission and started to get his head straight with the responsibility. He told me and his dad's family that it was because he was bullied so much. He didn't want to be there. He didn't say because he didn't think the school would do anything. I'm sure his aunt would have raised the roof, but he didn't think it would help.
From what some would call pranks, he will end up with a g.e.d.
If this happens every again to the OP's son, or other bullying, mom and dad need to be in the principles office and demand the school take action to stop it, not just for their son but for all the other kids. When kids walk on school property the school takes the responsibilty of keeping them safe from other students, and this needs to include awareness and action. Parents also have to be there for their kid, and willing to listen and be trusted to be told. The kid needs to know they stand up for them.
It's good the suspension happened, but if he's not left alone more action needs to follow.
Gotta protect little precious from sad feelings and boo-boo's.
Because after all when you grow up everyone is nice, no one is mean to each other and everything is fair.
I think the OP's son handled things well, as did the OP, who took her cue from her child.
I also think the school let the "prankster" off too easily in light of how many more minor infractions have been dealt with.
I wonder what the outcome would have been for the OP's son if he had hauled off and belted the other kid. Too bad we won't ever know.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-26-2012 at 09:03 PM..
Reason: deleted personal comment
That's horrible. I'm very sorry to hear that this has happened to your son. There are two good things in his favor. First, the summer is about to begin, and second, something more outrageous will happen. During high school, someone became the object of attention (they had an STD, they had been caught having sex in the parking lot, they had drugs on campus, etc) and they were talked about for a few days. Within days, something more extreme had happened to someone else, and all the attention (and gossip) shifted to the new person. No one was ever in the spotlight long (unless they were pregnant).
By the time he comes back after the summer, so much will have happened that most people won't even mention it. In the world of middle and high school, old news is bad news, and everyone wants a new juicy story. One of the students will invariably do something stupid during the summer, and they will be all the talk when the school year starts back.
So I take it you agree that the roommate trying to humiliate his roommate was just another "boys will be boys" kind of silly prank. Anything goes as long as you can write it off to a boys will be boys.
No. That is not what I think at all. I think he was a world class .... I can't say the word. But I was not speaking to the perpetrator. I was speaking to the reaction of the victim and what the parents of the victim might do with this opportunity.
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It can be a teachable moment. You want to teach the victims that they must suck it up and tolerate abuse, but I believe the bully needs to be taught right and wrong. Keep in mind the victim didn't assault anyone, didn't bully anyone, didn't do anything wrong -- so why is he the one that must be taught a harsh lesson?
Well that is really interesting. What DO we teach these victims? That they need to let some authority rescue them? That they haven't the strength to overcome? By the time you are a victim, prevention is by the board. Too late. And yes, I think the correct response to this one is to choose to view it as powerless. Thus relieving it of the power to hurt.
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And this "everyone does it" is also no excuse.
Well you sure as hell did not get that from me.
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