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Overprotective is anything that I tell my mom I'm doing for my kids that she didn't do for us...it's me sitting out in the driveway while the kids play in front of the house, while the other moms on the street are inside watching tv....demanding that my child be moved to another class when one of her classmates threatened to stab her...Overprotective is a word that's overused to tell careful parents that they need to slack off like everybody else. It's generally considered a criticism.
^^ I very much agree! I am usually considered overprotective, because I also sit outside to watch my child play outside, I need to meet parents before my child goes to play at their house, and even when I do know them she has her cell phone with her. She can't spend the night out unless I truely know moreof the parents than a one time meeting thing!
Although my daughter can pick out her own clothes, take the trash to the dumpster at the end of the street, etc.
Overprotective is based on each person's perspective....if I'm overprotective to some, that is ok with me, but I know I am doing what I feel is in the best interst of my child!!
Over protective to me means the parent doesn't treat the child age appropriate, shelters them, doesn't allow them the same freedoms as equal aged peers, excessively controls decisions, snoops/excessively monitors, doesn't allow space or freedom, constantly supervises.
Better way to put it:
A reasonable parent would allow their (say for example 14 year old) child the decision making when it comes to clothes (without looking like a hooker), make-up, hair, style etc. Lets them go places with friends unsupervised but gives them a phone to check in every once in a while on. Checks social media and phones if they feel it necessary, only added as a friend. Doesn't excessively restrict tv/movies/music.
A overprotective parent with a child the same age wouldn't allow that child the choice when it came to style of clothing, hair, make-up, style it would be what the parent picked. They wouldn't let that child go anywhere unsupervised they would stick with that child and their friends and not even compromise to let them go into stores alone with meeting at the food court in an hour or something. They would have login information of the childs social media (if the child had anything at all), they would be added as a friend, they would check daily, read text messages daily, they would on a regular basis comb through everything even without suspicion going on.
Usually children in the second scenario turn out weird.
^^I agree with this as well. As long as trust is being built, and the child is responsible they need freedom(to a point) to learn, grow and make choices on their own.
Overprotective is anything that I tell my mom I'm doing for my kids that she didn't do for us...it's me sitting out in the driveway while the kids play in front of the house, while the other moms on the street are inside watching tv....demanding that my child be moved to another class when one of her classmates threatened to stab her...Overprotective is a word that's overused to tell careful parents that they need to slack off like everybody else. It's generally considered a criticism.
But that's the exception not the rule.
For the most part overprotective parents are just that, over protective.
Sitting in the driveway with your kids while they play is not overprotective in itself, it is a pretty good idea if you have small children, but it does become over protective once your children hit a certain age/maturity level.
Sitting in the driveway with your 5 and 6 year olds is pretty normal, but if you're sitting outside with your 10/11/12 year old that's a different story.
Having your child moved from another class is not over protective if another child is threatening to stab her.
Not letting your child go to sleep overs because nancy grace did a segment on pedofiles and bobbed her stupid haircut all over till you are convinced everyone and their uncles dog is chester the molester is over protective.
Getting to know the child and their parents first is normal.
There's a fine line between over protective and protective and I know people say that its really up to the parent if they think they are being over protective or not but if your 17 year old has an 8pm curfew, isn't allowed to go anywhere unsupervised, has parent chaperoned dates and basically is allowed the same freedoms as when they were 5 years old, that's over protective no matter how you look at it.
Overprotective would be a parent who takes things past the normal, to the extreme. I.e. going with your daughter on her dates when she is 17. Or not letting your child ever sleep over peoples houses.
^^But what is normal these days?? Some people say it is "normal" to allow a 7yr old walk down a busy street to the corner store that is half a mile away. But to me that is insanly cRaZy!!!! My daughter is almost 10 and may not have a lot of freedom to be out of my sight, but also is allowed and encouraged to make her own choices and make decisions even when I see them not being very positive ones in order to learn!
IMO I surely don't want to be "normal" in my parenting these days!!!!
I don't let my kids go to sleepovers, but I'm more worried about bedbugs or lice than I am about the possibility of a pedophile.
And besides, I know what I did at sleepovers, from about age 13 on...drinking, skinnydipping, sneaking boys in...even worse was when we'd each tell our mom we were sleeping over at someone else's house and then we'd all go up to this place where grown men hung out to drink beer and drive their trucks offroad, and go drinking and driving with men we didn't even know. We'd get drunk and have to sleep it off in someone's backyard because we didn't want our moms to know we'd been out all night.
^^But what is normal these days?? Some people say it is "normal" to allow a 7yr old walk down a busy street to the corner store that is half a mile away. But to me that is insanly cRaZy!!!! My daughter is almost 10 and may not have a lot of freedom to be out of my sight, but also is allowed and encouraged to make her own choices and make decisions even when I see them not being very positive ones in order to learn!
IMO I surely don't want to be "normal" in my parenting these days!!!!
I think you need to trust your instinct and go with what your gut is telling you about your child. If you feel that your concerns are rational and fair, that's enough. But there will come a time when you just know that they are ready to do some things without you around. In fact, they *need* you to not be around because they are mature and responsible enough to look out for themselves, to self monitor and that is a huge step.
The first time they and a friend walk around the corner and out of your eyesight is just plain nerve wracking (actually it always is a little bit nerve wracking). But you get through it.
I don't let my kids go to sleepovers, but I'm more worried about bedbugs or lice than I am about the possibility of a pedophile.
And besides, I know what I did at sleepovers, from about age 13 on...drinking, skinnydipping, sneaking boys in...even worse was when we'd each tell our mom we were sleeping over at someone else's house and then we'd all go up to this place where grown men hung out to drink beer and drive their trucks offroad, and go drinking and driving with men we didn't even know. We'd get drunk and have to sleep it off in someone's backyard because we didn't want our moms to know we'd been out all night.
But that was you not your kid, if you're going to use that logic you may as well do the same for every scenario.
You ever theater hop? Well if so better not let your kid go to the movies, they might sneak out of one and go into an R rated movie.
I went to TONS of sleepovers, I never did any of those things. Do I think because I didn't do anything bad that my kids won't, no they will be different people than I was but I will raise my kids from a very young age to not even want to do things like that and my kids will KNOW just how much trouble they'd be in if they pulled any stupid stunts at a sleep over, the punishment would be bad enough they would think twice.
I went to TONS of sleepovers, I never did any of those things. Do I think because I didn't do anything bad that my kids won't, no they will be different people than I was but I will raise my kids from a very young age to not even want to do things like that and my kids will KNOW just how much trouble they'd be in if they pulled any stupid stunts at a sleep over, the punishment would be bad enough they would think twice.
I never got caught There's a point at which kids decide they're smarter than their parents and can get away with stuff. Some kids are smarter than the parents, others end up getting caught. My parents were strict and I would have been in more trouble than I can imagine if I ever got caught...so I just never got caught. It helped to have friends whose parents could realy care less what their kids did.
And it's easy to think you can raise your kids not to do anything bad, but it's not as easy to make the kids stick to what you teach them. It's easy when they're tiny and they haven't realized they can stand up to you and say no, but by the time they get old enough to want to sneak out and get drunk, they've realized that you can't control what they do every second of the day.
I never got caught There's a point at which kids decide they're smarter than their parents and can get away with stuff. Some kids are smarter than the parents, others end up getting caught. My parents were strict and I would have been in more trouble than I can imagine if I ever got caught...so I just never got caught. It helped to have friends whose parents could realy care less what their kids did.
And it's easy to think you can raise your kids not to do anything bad, but it's not as easy to make the kids stick to what you teach them. It's easy when they're tiny and they haven't realized they can stand up to you and say no, but by the time they get old enough to want to sneak out and get drunk, they've realized that you can't control what they do every second of the day.
I'm just saying that its terrible for children to be denied one of the biggest childhood activities because of what their parents did.
They should be able to experience sleepovers and camp outs with their friends.
Nothing cooler than to get together with your friends, pop a tent up in someones back yard with a fire pit. I did that kind of thing well into my high school years. It's just a shame to hear about children who miss out on that kind of stuff.
Over protective to me means the parent doesn't treat the child age appropriate, shelters them, doesn't allow them the same freedoms as equal aged peers, excessively controls decisions, snoops/excessively monitors, doesn't allow space or freedom, constantly supervises.
Better way to put it: A reasonable parent would allow their (say for example 14 year old) child the decision making when it comes to clothes (without looking like a hooker), make-up, hair, style etc. Lets them go places with friends unsupervised but gives them a phone to check in every once in a while on. Checks social media and phones if they feel it necessary, only added as a friend. Doesn't excessively restrict tv/movies/music.
A overprotective parent with a child the same age wouldn't allow that child the choice when it came to style of clothing, hair, make-up, style it would be what the parent picked. They wouldn't let that child go anywhere unsupervised they would stick with that child and their friends and not even compromise to let them go into stores alone with meeting at the food court in an hour or something. They would have login information of the childs social media (if the child had anything at all), they would be added as a friend, they would check daily, read text messages daily, they would on a regular basis comb through everything even without suspicion going on.
Usually children in the second scenario turn out weird.
That's usually considered controlling, not overprotective. My husband and I will be considered pretty controlling by most people, but we most likely will not be considered overprotective. They are two different things.
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My daughter is almost 10 and may not have a lot of freedom to be out of my sight, but also is allowed and encouraged to make her own choices and make decisions even when I see them not being very positive ones in order to learn! 
