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He wasn't the most masculine kid growing up, was caught looking at x-rated gay pornography as a teenager, and hasn't had a serious girlfriend by age 26?
If he came to you and told you he was gay, what would go through your mind? Would you be relieved, disappointed, or both?
I'd highly suspect, I wouldn't be shocked, and I'd be relieved that it was finally out in the open. I hope that my kids know they don't need to be afraid of my reaction about something like this.
I'd be pissed that they felt they needed to hide it from me.
I would feel like I failed and they didn't feel I was open enough to come to me.
That's one thing I know I will do different, I will always be open and willing to lend an ear or be supportive and my kids from day 1 will know they will be able to come to me for anything at all, being gay, drugs, whatever, if they need help I will get them help without punishment or judgment, if they need someone to come out to, whatever.
Really? Even if you'd given the impression that being gay was unacceptable?
Obviously not.
Clearly she would be accepting which is why she would be disappointed that the conversation didn't happen sooner.
But if someone gives the impression they do not think being gay is acceptable then their child isn't going to come to them about being gay, they won't be willing to talk about it.
Plus, looking at gay porn and not having a girl friend don't make someone gay.
He wasn't the most masculine kid growing up, was caught looking at x-rated gay pornography as a teenager, and hasn't had a serious girlfriend by age 26?
If he came to you and told you he was gay, what would go through your mind? Would you be relieved, disappointed, or both?
If this bothered you so, why didn't you talk to him as a teen? If I had a son and he was gay, so what. He's still my son.
Really? Even if you'd given the impression that being gay was unacceptable?
I imagine that is the reason he waited until he was 26 to tell you. Your opinion that being gay is unacceptable is not going to change the fact that he is gay. He can and did hide it from you. You have to figure out how you are going to respond. Do you love your son enough to accept who he really is? Do you want to be a part of his life?
If he were mine, I would have simply asked him much earlier. I would have already laid the groundwork that being gay or straight made absolutely no difference, so it wouldn't be a big deal to ask.
My mother simply asked me at one point if I was gay. I said no and explained I was asexual. She asked a few questions, shrugged, and moved on. No biggie. If I'd said yes it would have been the same thing.
If he were mine, I would have simply asked him much earlier. I would have already laid the groundwork that being gay or straight made absolutely no difference, so it wouldn't be a big deal to ask.
My mother simply asked me at one point if I was gay. I said no and explained I was asexual. She asked a few questions, shrugged, and moved on. No biggie. If I'd said yes it would have been the same thing.
I forgot your gender but she was probably relieved that she didn't have to worry about anything when it came to you and potential grandchildren too soon.
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