U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 05-27-2012, 10:12 AM
 
44,369 posts, read 44,530,454 times
Reputation: 46901

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I think some moms just need to think that they are something special. If we're all just parents raising our kids, they're nothing special.

If you're lucky enough not to have to work for a living, I say enjoy it. Why worry about what someone else thinks? I don't like being told I'm not there for my kids or that being a WM is equated to kids having sex after school or doing drugs. Just walk down my street and I can show you two dd's of SAHM's who just had babies at 15 and 16. I have no idea why some insist that SAH is some better brand of parenthood. It's not. We're all parents. Whether we're good or bad parents has nothing to do with our working status.

Personally, if I were lucky enough not to have to work for a living, I think I'd respond to "What do you do all day" with "Whatever I want" and walk away with a smile on my face.

The only way there's a problem is if you're not meeting the needs of your kids. I know moms who SAH in spite of having to take WIC or Welfare who won't work to support their kids. Given I'm paying their way, I have a lot to say about that. SAH is for people who can afford it. The rest of us work for a living. The lucky ones actually have a choice as to which one they do. They should just smile.
Well said!

 
Old 05-27-2012, 10:48 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 4,860,038 times
Reputation: 3579
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I think some moms just need to think that they are something special. If we're all just parents raising our kids, they're nothing special.

If you're lucky enough not to have to work for a living, I say enjoy it. Why worry about what someone else thinks? I don't like being told I'm not there for my kids or that being a WM is equated to kids having sex after school or doing drugs. Just walk down my street and I can show you two dd's of SAHM's who just had babies at 15 and 16. I have no idea why some insist that SAH is some better brand of parenthood. It's not. We're all parents. Whether we're good or bad parents has nothing to do with our working status.

Personally, if I were lucky enough not to have to work for a living, I think I'd respond to "What do you do all day" with "Whatever I want" and walk away with a smile on my face.

The only way there's a problem is if you're not meeting the needs of your kids. I know moms who SAH in spite of having to take WIC or Welfare who won't work to support their kids. Given I'm paying their way, I have a lot to say about that. SAH is for people who can afford it. The rest of us work for a living. The lucky ones actually have a choice as to which one they do. They should just smile.
I feel like this statment implies that the choice to be a sahm is only for those who's partners make a lot of money. Some of us make sacrifices in our lives in order to stay home with our kids. It's not just a choice available for a select few. Just sayin.
 
Old 05-27-2012, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,279 posts, read 27,867,390 times
Reputation: 14317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
I feel like this statment implies that the choice to be a sahm is only for those who's partners make a lot of money. Some of us make sacrifices in our lives in order to stay home with our kids. It's not just a choice available for a select few. Just sayin.
You still have to be able to afford the choice. If not working for a living is what you want to sacrifice for, by all means go ahead and sacrifice for it but you still have to pay your own bills. It pisses me off to see woman SAH and take hand outs like WIC and Welfare (or worse make their kids do without) as if them not wanting to work for a living makes them entitled to someone else paying their bills. Those programs are for people who CAN'T make it not for those who have chosen to not work to support their families.

As with all optional things in life, if you can afford it and want it, go for it. I really don't care what you gave up to get it you still have to be able to afford the choice to have it.

Last edited by Ivorytickler; 05-27-2012 at 11:40 AM..
 
Old 05-27-2012, 11:43 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 4,860,038 times
Reputation: 3579
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
You still have to be able to afford the choice. If not working for a living is what you want to sacrifice for, by all means go ahead and sacrifice for it but you still have to pay your own bills. It pisses me off to see woman SAH and take hand outs like WIC and Welfare (or worse make their kids do without) as if them not wanting to work for a living makes them entitled to someone else paying their bills. Those programs are for people who CAN'T make it not for those who have chosen to not work to support their families.

As with all optional things in life, if you can afford it and want it, go for it. I really don't care what you gave up to get it you still have to be able to afford the choice to have it.
That's fine, I hear what you're saying. I just don't like it when people say, "you're so lucky that you get to stay home" since luck has little to do with it.
 
Old 05-27-2012, 11:45 AM
 
10,934 posts, read 8,363,850 times
Reputation: 13916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
I feel like this statment implies that the choice to be a sahm is only for those who's partners make a lot of money. Some of us make sacrifices in our lives in order to stay home with our kids. It's not just a choice available for a select few. Just sayin.
Sigh. Indeed. Still paying for it. But it was well worth it.
 
Old 05-27-2012, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,279 posts, read 27,867,390 times
Reputation: 14317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
That's fine, I hear what you're saying. I just don't like it when people say, "you're so lucky that you get to stay home" since luck has little to do with it.
Luck has everything to do with it. You are lucky that you can structure your life so you don't have to work. Period. Many don't get a choice in the matter. You do. You're lucky.

It's not like SAH is some special brand of motherhood worth sacrificing to ahcieve so who cares what you sacrificed to SAH? (Your post reads like you want recognition for sacrificing when what you're sacrificing for is what you chose and many don't get to choose at all.) You got your reward. You got what you wanted. And yes, being in position to make that choice makes you lucky.

First and foremost, in order to SAH, you must be in financial position to SAH. That you do it on less than the next mom is irrelevent. You got what you wanted. Enjoy it. Personally, I won't sacrifice for wants. I reserve sacrifices for needs but that's my choice and I don't care that you choose to sacrifice to have what you want. I would have had to have asked my family to sacrifice in order for me to have SAH and that would not have been fair to them so I didn't. You're lucky if you didn't have to ask yours to sacrifice. If YOU sacrificed to SAH, who cares? YOU got what you wanted. IMO, it's not really a sacrifice when you get what you want out of the deal. It's just choosing what you want most from what is in front of you.

Last edited by Ivorytickler; 05-27-2012 at 12:17 PM..
 
Old 05-27-2012, 12:12 PM
 
14,112 posts, read 11,659,638 times
Reputation: 17593
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
That's fine, I hear what you're saying. I just don't like it when people say, "you're so lucky that you get to stay home" since luck has little to do with it.
How doesn't luck have a lot to do with it?

You are lucky to be in a financial position that you CAN stay at home.
 
Old 05-27-2012, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,029,489 times
Reputation: 2377
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Luck has everything to do with it. You are lucky that you can structure your life so you don't have to work. Period. Many don't get a choice in the matter. You do. You're lucky.
I think there is some truth in this. Yes, I consider myself lucky (read: fortunate) that we are able to make the sacrifices we do for me to stay home with our little ones. You are correct, I believe, that for many people it isn't an option no matter how many sacrifices are made. Just as long as we also keep in mind that there are a lot of parents who choose to have one parent stay home who do make a lot of sacrifices to do so.

Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 05-27-2012 at 12:51 PM.. Reason: vocabulary clarification
 
Old 05-27-2012, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,279 posts, read 27,867,390 times
Reputation: 14317
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
I think there is some truth in this. Yes, I consider myself lucky that we are able to make the sacrifices we do for me to stay home with our little ones. You are correct, I believe, that for many people it isn't an option no matter how many sacrifices are made. Just as long as we also keep in mind that there are a lot of parents who choose to have one parent stay home who do make a lot of sacrifices to do so.

Why do I need to keep in mind that their CHOICE came with what they consider sacrifices? They got what they wanted.

Seriosly, is it really sacrificing when you get what you want out of the deal? And, again, why would I care about what you "sacrificed" because you'd rather not work? As long a you're paying your bills, I really don't care what you do or how much you think you gave up to do it. When you give up one thing to have something you want more, it's just choosing what you want from among your choices.
 
Old 05-27-2012, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Denver area
20,419 posts, read 20,489,219 times
Reputation: 32201
Ivory why do you care? Honestly every time this comes up you find a way to backhandedly insult people over their choices. It's not your choice. Fine. Good for you. Why can't you acknowledge the same without making it all about how "special" and "entitled" you think everyone else seems to want? Stop picking fights over this. Honestly - just leave it alone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top