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Old 05-24-2012, 05:48 PM
 
8,603 posts, read 4,498,630 times
Reputation: 8305
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Whether someone stays home or not is not a big deal to me, or anything to judge someone over. If it's a choice that someone makes that is not harming anyone, more power to them. I do think that some sahm's (no one in particular here, just saying) tend to exaggerate what they do, or perhaps overwork themselves so as not to feel guilty. Yes, there is housework, homework, cooking, shopping. and laundry, but it seems the load should decrease as children get older and can do more for themselves, and help out around the house with dishes, laundry, yardwork, etc. If I was a sahm of teenagers, I personally would have NO problem telling people what I did what my time...got a mani and pedi, a massage, went to the gym, relaxed on the deck, went to my book club meeting, then cooked dinner, relaxed with hubby while the kids clean the kitchen, help with homework if necessary, then spend the rest of the evening enjoying my family while being relaxed and nonstressed. If they don't approve, who cares? I bet a a million dollars they would love to do the same if they could. The disapproval is really sour grapes, imo.

If someone has the financial means to not work, enjoy it! I don't see the reason to be the martyr of housework. There is nothing wrong with enjoying life, and teaching teenagers to be responsible for themselves and the household as well.
I agree. If you don't have to work there is nothing wrong with that. Additionally, I remember from my SAH days, that there was no such thing as free time. It is damn near universal that the amount of things we have to do expands directly proportional to the amount of time we have to do them.

But I stand by the statement, it is not a full time job to parent teenagers. If they are not home, which most teenagers are not for over 8 hours a day, than it isn't the same thing as taking care of a preschooler.

Again, the OP does seem to be feeling guilty, I do not think she has anything to feel guilty over, but if she has the time it might make her feel better to do some volunteer or charity work in addition to her other obligations.

 
Old 05-24-2012, 05:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Yes, there is definitely a line where it is no longer a full time job to care for ones children. Claiming otherwise is a recipe for disaster.

I am not sure where exactly that line starts but I know for a fact SAHM is no longer a full time job for most teenagers.

Look, it is a perfectly valid choice for anyone who has the means to stay at home, for however long they and their families want to. That does not make it a full time job. My aunt was in a financial position to stay at home her whole life. She is the first one to admit that as her children got older, less time was involved with their care. She found lots of other meaningful productive things to do. But she also admits that her mothering duties were not full time work for teenagers who were out of the house for more hours than they were in it.
Truthfully I don't really care if its a full time job or not but I will have two kids in school and my volunteering on the school board (which I consider part of my ""job" as a SAHM) takes up more than 30hrs many weeks during the school year. Many SAH parents of teenagers spend a lot of their time volunteering and helping out kids of all parents. No, they don't have to, but I consider part of my job description.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 05:59 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 2,729,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Yes, there is definitely a line where it is no longer a full time job to care for ones children. Claiming otherwise is a recipe for disaster.
The job is different depending in individual circumstances. There's no need to try and draw a line. Recipe for disaster?
 
Old 05-24-2012, 06:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
The job is different depending in individual circumstances. There's no need to try and draw a line. Recipe for disaster?
Yes. Adult children who can't or won't take care of themselves because they were never taught how to. IMO teens should be doing their own laundry, learning to cook, and cleaning up after themselves. When they do the parenting is much less about housekeeping.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
11,833 posts, read 5,170,281 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Yes. Adult children who can't or won't take care of themselves because they were never taught how to. IMO teens should be doing their own laundry, learning to cook, and cleaning up after themselves. When they do the parenting is much less about housekeeping.
Who says being a SAHM is about housekeeping?
 
Old 05-24-2012, 06:22 PM
 
2,052 posts, read 2,006,591 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Yes. Adult children who can't or won't take care of themselves because they were never taught how to. IMO teens should be doing their own laundry, learning to cook, and cleaning up after themselves. When they do the parenting is much less about housekeeping.
Who's saying its all about housekeeping? I have a cleaning service and I SAH full time. It doesn't mean I don't do worthy work, trust me I'm plenty busy.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 06:26 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 2,729,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Yes. Adult children who can't or won't take care of themselves because they were never taught how to. IMO teens should be doing their own laundry, learning to cook, and cleaning up after themselves. When they do the parenting is much less about housekeeping.
I could draw a line at pretty much any job and say that it's not really a full time job based on any set of circumstances that I decide to come up with. For example, I've had office jobs that were painfully boring because there was not enough work to keep busy and I've also worked at restaurants where I barely had a moment to pee. So based on my experiences I could surmise that a 40 hour per week office job isn't really a full time job but a 40 hour a week restaurant job is. Sound logical? Not really, huh.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 06:44 PM
 
2,185 posts, read 1,887,199 times
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I understand both sides of being a stay home mom and a career mom. Both can be challenging with one being no more challenging than the other.

As for being a SAHM with teens, I'm not there yet. But I had 3 brothers all close in age, we took turns rotating chores. On Mondays I would do dishes, Tuesdays, one of my brother's, Wednesday my other brother and so on. But from other people I've seen, their teens are out cutting the grass and working part time. My neighbor has 2 teens and she would make them come over and help me cut the grass, groceries and everything else. So I think if you have teens you need to put them to work and show them responability. It will only help them in the long run.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 06:46 PM
 
2,052 posts, read 2,006,591 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Singlelady10 View Post
I understand both sides of being a stay home mom and a career mom. Both can be challenging with one being no more challenging than the other.

As for being a SAHM with teens, I'm not there yet. But I had 3 brothers all close in age, we took turns rotating chores. On Mondays I would do dishes, Tuesdays, one of my brother's, Wednesday my other brother and so on. But from other people I've seen, their teens are out cutting the grass and working part time. My neighbor has 2 teens and she would make them come over and help me cut the grass, groceries and everything else. So I think if you have teens you need to put them to work and show them responability. It will only help them in the long run.
Yes, absolutely I make my elementary age kids do tons of chores. But what does that have to do with being a stay at home mom?
 
Old 05-24-2012, 06:52 PM
Status: "Humming "Suicide is painless"" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,153 posts, read 14,887,906 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
If they ask if you are off work, tell them no. Stay-at-home moms are always on the clock.
Why limit this to SAHM's? Wouldn't WM's be always on the clock too? Why not just say moms are always on the clock? Why the need to specify that SAHM's are on the clock all the time?
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