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Old 05-24-2012, 09:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I do not understand your point in the slightest. Are you equating SAH parenting of teenagers to the painfully boring job or the one where you do not get to pee?

Anyway, a full time job in this country is typically defined as a 40 hour work week. Any SAH parent known that parenting preschoolers is far more than a full work week. But most teenagers are not even home to need SAH parents (aside from sleeping) for 40 hours during the school week. That isn't opinion, that is plain old fact.
My point is that the duties and responsibilities of a full time job vary greatly from one to the next. Sure, some parents of teenagers have very little to do while others may have a lot. There's no reason to "draw a line" and tell someone that what they do is not really a full time job because maybe it is. Besides, all that JustJulia said was that SAHM's are always on the clock which is true for most parents (always on call). She never labeled it as a full time, 40 hour a week position.

 
Old 05-24-2012, 09:52 PM
 
Location: here
23,591 posts, read 26,246,854 times
Reputation: 28005
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I think there is a bit of the pot there.

Anyway, no one likes to have their words deliberately twisted.
really? this thread and the similar one in the employment forum got my panties in a bunch, that's what. The idea that people still think they know what other people do all day, and get to decide if it is worthwhile or not. That's what. And don't flatter yourself that I'd go to the trouble to deliberately twist your words.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 09:52 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,190,800 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
The only thing it has to do with is certain posters (and I am not saying necessarily you) have given a list, that includes lots of chores being done by the SAH parent, as the reason they stay home while their teenagers are at school and after school activities.

They can stay home for any reason they want as long as their families are financially stable but it is not a full time job to take care of a teenager. That is simple math. Most of them are not physically home during the day.
I guess it is what you do with your time. I consider my role on the school board as part of SAH parenting...others may not but someone working normal hours couldn't do it with the daytime commitment required.

At the end of the day though I stay home because there's no point in me working. My husband makes enough for our family and I enjoy the smaller amount of chaos that goes with having someone not in a full time job. Maybe I'll change my mind when my kids actually are teenagers, I guess we'll see.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:04 PM
Status: "RIP Roxy and April" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
16,256 posts, read 19,517,102 times
Reputation: 37612
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunisgreat View Post
I'm a sahm of 3 - two teens and one pre-teen. It seems that everywhere- the grocery store, the dentist, the hair salon, I am asked "Are you off work today?" When I say I'm a sahm, the next question is always "How old are your kids?" Then I'm uncomfortable replying that they're school-age. I know they're just making conversation and not being nosy, but I can't help feeling judged somehow.

I probably shouldn't feel embarrassed, but I do. My husband and I made this choice together a few mos after the 2nd one was born. I'm still busy even though they're not toddlers anymore. There's piles of laundry, chauffering, early dismissal days, and the kids don't get bussing-so daily pick-up and drop-off. Then there's sports, and sports camps during the summer that the kids want to partcipate in. I also workout and run. Being home allows me to get all of the errands done during the day, instead of cutting into time when we're all home together.

I was a successful businesswoman before leaving my career to stay home. I want to return to work, but won't be able to until we have another driver in the family. The timing isn't conducive to returning right now.

Should I just say I'm unemployed?
No. You are not unemployed. You and your husband have a partnership and it includes his out of the home job, and your in the home job of caring for the children that you have together.

I'm not fond of the term SAHM - I mean actually how much do you really stay at home? I think "I work out of my home" is an appropriate answer.

Also, I too have teens. I did work outside of the home when they were in mid to late elementary school. Part time.
When they hit middle school, DH and I both decided that it would be best for me to stay at home.

I think many woman run back to work when the first hits 8th grade and I think that's backwards.

Anyway, I work out of my home should suffice, And it's true. You have one of the hardest jobs there is!
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:13 PM
 
14,049 posts, read 11,552,781 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
In her defense, I think she was responding somewhat in response to my post above...
I said what I do do all day as a SAHM and also what I do not do , such as; get manis or pedis, I do not go out to dinners w/my husband alone ,etc..

I had said I made sacrifices to be a SAHM ......
I think most SAHMs are making large sacrifices. Whether it is financial, or emotional, as I think the OP highlights. I remember that weird feeling of missing my daughter and sister when they went to school and the emotional freedom of having some "adult" time even if it was while working.

Anyway, I am sure the SAH parents of teenagers are busy, as I stated before, I do not know anyone with free time. For everyone I know the amount of responsibility they take on always seems to go up when they have time for it. I do not think it is any different for SAH parents.

But I do think that is different than being a SAH parent of a preschooler. Than your full time (and then some) job is parenting. When you are staying at home as a parent of a teenager you maybe "working" all the time but it isn't necessarily as a SAH parent.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,722,431 times
Reputation: 1886
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
The only thing it has to do with is certain posters (and I am not saying necessarily you) have given a list, that includes lots of chores being done by the SAH parent, as the reason they stay home while their teenagers are at school and after school activities.

They can stay home for any reason they want as long as their families are financially stable but it is not a full time job to take care of a teenager. That is simple math. Most of them are not physically home during the day.
I gave a "list" but I am not a parent of teenagers ( not that it matters) I gave a list because someone asked what sahm's do all day id their kids are in school...
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:20 PM
 
14,049 posts, read 11,552,781 times
Reputation: 17402
Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post
I guess it is what you do with your time. I consider my role on the school board as part of SAH parenting...others may not but someone working normal hours couldn't do it with the daytime commitment required.
In my area, at least as many of the school board parents are full time working parents. Here all of the school board meetings and subcommittee meetings happen in the evenings, not during the school day.

Quote:
At the end of the day though I stay home because there's no point in me working. My husband makes enough for our family and I enjoy the smaller amount of chaos that goes with having someone not in a full time job. Maybe I'll change my mind when my kids actually are teenagers, I guess we'll see.
And that is completely valid. I never said otherwise.

But having been a SAH parent, my "job" was caring for and parenting my children. For my preschoolers, that meant it was a full time job instead of working outside the home. Once they went to school 40 hours a week, I was "off the clock" (aside from emergencies) on the parenting stuff, while they were there.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:21 PM
 
14,049 posts, read 11,552,781 times
Reputation: 17402
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
I gave a "list" but I am not a parent of teenagers ( not that it matters) I gave a list because someone asked what sahm's do all day id their kids are in school...
But do you foresee your teenagers doing their own laundry, washing their dishes, cleaning all of those messes that younger children are just incapable of doing? If so do you not see the amount of hours worked caring for your children decreasing? That was my point.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:28 PM
 
14,049 posts, read 11,552,781 times
Reputation: 17402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
My point is that the duties and responsibilities of a full time job vary greatly from one to the next. Sure, some parents of teenagers have very little to do while others may have a lot. There's no reason to "draw a line" and tell someone that what they do is not really a full time job because maybe it is. Besides, all that JustJulia said was that SAHM's are always on the clock which is true for most parents (always on call). She never labeled it as a full time, 40 hour a week position.
The drawing the line is in response to the idea that teenagers need to learn to care for themselves. That is not necessarily a SAH parent issue.

As to what Julia said, if you choose to perceive what she said that way, go ahead.

But what she said was "If they ask if you are off work, tell them no. Stay-at-home moms are always on the clock."

You are not parenting your teenager, and that is the "work" all parents are always "on the clock" for, for eight hours a day while they are at school. That is a fallacy.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:43 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,190,800 times
Reputation: 4991
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
In my area, at least as many of the school board parents are full time working parents. Here all of the school board meetings and subcommittee meetings happen in the evenings, not during the school day.
.
Our meetings take place at night as well but as VP I manage most sections of budget for a k-8 school, plan and staff volunteers for 20plus events a year, and then organize all parent volunteers that come in weekly for other reasons. That doesn't include meetings with the principal, meetings with the PTA or meetings with the parish (it's a catholic school). Like I said many weeks are 30hr plus, not just showing up for a meeting in the evening...
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