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Old 05-26-2012, 09:54 AM
 
7 posts, read 6,053 times
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During Court time, my kids had made tons of complaints about their father, things like, him making them watch porn with him..Then they would describe what they seen, such as a naked pool scene with people going at each other.

My daughter complainned of being touched and my son complained of being photographed in his underwear by his father.

That was the type of allegations I turned into children services and when questioned by authorities and when he under went a lie detector test he had proven himself to be not guilty.

So yes, as a concerned mom I may have over done the investigations a bit. However, I wanted to make sure that if my kids were going to go see their father I wanted them to be safe and not going through things like the aboved mentioned.


Now my daughter states they are being locked out of their house in various weather conditions, to play, girls knock on windows to come inside if the must pee. Boys go pee behind a garage.

If they need a drink they drink out of water hose, if the 1 yr old needs a drink, he drinks from the family dogs water dish...and plays in it.

No access to phone, I have a police friend who lives down the street from him, however if my kids were to walk to her house or to even leave out the front gate, their two future step brother and sisters would be the first to tell their father.

My ex mother in law lives next door but they are not allowed to go over and she is barley home at all either, so they are unable to use anything.

I contemplated sending a pre-payed phone for my daughter but everything they bring over is rummaged through by their father or would be discovered by his girlfriend.

My son has asthema and my poor little man doesn't even get the correct medication while he is over there. He either comes back wheezing or perfectly fine. Often times He doesn't get his inhailers at all except a singular chewable. Here he gets his inhailers and chewables at the given times that the doctor states.


I have done Everything to help the relationship with the kids and their father, I have encouraged phone calls, emails, I have kept him up to date on the kids when they have health issues, I have clued him in on Graduations and on plays/recitals that the kids are going to be having. I have been telling them when they complain that dad don't love them, that he does love them he just has a lot on his plate right now..with 6 kids. I have been the one to smooth things over when they refuse to go to dads.

I have taken extra care on not showing the kids my dislike for their father, when asked questions reguarding their father and my relationship with him, I answer very carefully and say a quick prayer to the Lord to give me the right things to say. I do not put him down in front of them. If I have problems with their father, I wait until the kids are sleeping and leave from within ear shot before I vent. Or I wait until they are on a visit with him. Its healthy for the kids and nicer for the kids to not hear put downs about their father. If it's something I have questions about, I go directly to him.

I have gotten better over the years about just praying that my feelings towards their father would go away and I am proud to say that they have, but when I hear about the kids being locked out and no medications given it gets to me.

I have put the kids into counciling, my daughter has been in with councilor for full sessions 2 times 2 different places each say she is fine.

My son has been once and I am working on getting him back in to see someone else.

we have doctors keyed in to whats going on and school staff, along with our church affiliates.

I just feel helpless and wish there was something more I could do to help my kids or at least help the situations at the house,to make it a more pleasant experience.

Last edited by lone_angel81; 05-26-2012 at 10:27 AM..
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Old 05-26-2012, 10:03 AM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,232,326 times
Reputation: 5565
Quote:
Originally Posted by lone_angel81 View Post
During Court time, my kids had made tons of complaints about their father, things like, him making them watch porn with him..Then they would describe what they seen, such as a naked pool scene with people going at each other.

My daughter complainned of being touched and my son complained of being photographed in his underwear by his father.

That was the type of allegations I turned into children services and when questioned
Okay and why was nothing done?
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Old 05-26-2012, 10:08 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,075,868 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by lone_angel81 View Post
During Court time, my kids had made tons of complaints about their father, things like, him making them watch porn with him..Then they would describe what they seen, such as a naked pool scene with people going at each other.

My daughter complainned of being touched and my son complained of being photographed in his underwear by his father.

That was the type of allegations I turned into children services and when questioned
why is he allowed visitation at all???
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Old 05-26-2012, 10:13 AM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,232,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
why is he allowed visitation at all???
Probably because this story never happened.
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Old 05-26-2012, 10:56 AM
 
7 posts, read 6,053 times
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We (my family and I ) are unsure as to why nothing ever happened and why he gets visits at all. lucidkitty, I am not a liar and neither is my daughter, I have more to do with my day than to concoct out rageous stories, slamming my ex and yes I DO BELIEVE my daughter. Sorry you much like the court believe that there is no story. If there was nothing going on don't you think I would do more with my time then trying to find ways to help my children????

Last edited by lone_angel81; 05-26-2012 at 11:29 AM..
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,023,395 times
Reputation: 51113
All teachers are manditory reporters of suspected child abuse & neglect.

Don't tell your children to tell their teacher (as it may seem that you are encouraging your children or coaching them to say bad things about Dad).

However, make sure that your children know that if they ever have any concerns or problems about anything they can tell their teacher and she/he will try to help.

You should also make the teacher aware about the situation. There may be something that your children do or say at school that raises red flags and you don't want them to report you if it was something that happened at Dad's house.
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:27 AM
 
7 posts, read 6,053 times
Reputation: 10
Good idea on the teacher idea, formed that way it does sound like one would be coaching. I have told them that the teachers are a friend so if they have anything that is troubling to them then they can talk to a teacher as they are there to help. Not just for school work but for anything that might be bothering them. whether it be something here something at dads something at school, at grandma's. Anything, even if its a trip they are excited about or something they had done that was fun.

I have both of their teachers aware of the situation and also the principal, along with a few of the aids that are found on the play ground and with the kids during lunch, before and after school.
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:31 AM
 
7 posts, read 6,053 times
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sorry about the typo kibbikat, I meant to direct it at lucidkitty. Its fixed now though. I am so sorry, never meant to direct my anger at you.
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,190 posts, read 7,953,074 times
Reputation: 3325
Quote:
Originally Posted by lone_angel81 View Post
sorry about the typo kibbikat, I meant to direct it at lucidkitty. Its fixed now though. I am so sorry, never meant to direct my anger at you.
We have too many cats here anyways.
Furballs everywhere.
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,023,395 times
Reputation: 51113
Quote:
Originally Posted by lone_angel81 View Post
Good idea on the teacher idea, formed that way it does sound like one would be coaching. I have told them that the teachers are a friend so if they have anything that is troubling to them then they can talk to a teacher as they are there to help. Not just for school work but for anything that might be bothering them. whether it be something here something at dads something at school, at grandma's. Anything, even if its a trip they are excited about or something they had done that was fun.

I have both of their teachers aware of the situation and also the principal, along with a few of the aids that are found on the play ground and with the kids during lunch, before and after school.
Excellent
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