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Old 05-31-2012, 05:44 AM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
1,298 posts, read 998,687 times
Reputation: 1539
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhenomenalAJ View Post
People who hit their children are mostly toothless rednecks and ignorant ghetto people. Your kids really will resent and hate you when they grow up if you're always wailing on them.

Afraid that "hit" and discipline are two seperate things. If you don't discipline your children, you'll be visiting their graves ore seeing them behind bars....JMHO
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Old 05-31-2012, 06:17 AM
Status: "Welcome to Fall, Florida-style" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Atlanta
1,631 posts, read 1,203,196 times
Reputation: 2221
Quote:
Originally Posted by LVKim8 View Post
This is called 'Caretaker Acceptance'. Studies have been done that suggest children accept spanking and even abusive punishment if they believe that their caretaker(usually parents) love and accept them. If they believe the punishment is being done out of rejection then they perceive the punishment as being abusive (Caretaker Rejection). So this means a child's need for parental acceptance is powerful and hence why we hear the 'I deserved it' reasoning from adults when they consider their childhoods.

To reject this way of discipline, especially if it's all a child knows, is to reject their parents. I think this is why corporal punishment continues to be passed down through generations despite evidence of its detrimental effects. This is not to say the quoted poster did not 'turn out all right' or that others haven't as well, but what it does say is the tie parents have to their children is already to their advantage, and corporal punishment is superfluous (imo). It should also be said that any number of discipline techniques (including spanking) will have a failure rate which is directly related to the age of a child and their stage of development. By nature, we learn through trial and error so the use of punitive methods, and yes, even time outs can be punitive, is also less likely to get positive results.
I fall into this category, as I've always felt that being spanked was an expression of hate, rather than love. That's how I felt then, and that's how I feel now. I've often said that I'd give anything to grow up in a non-spanking family, even if it meant being struck down before the age of 20 - just the joy of never having to be spanked as a kid would totally be worth it.

And I know the spanking was done out of hate, as my daddy did the same with my mom - you don't ever hit people out of love, whether it be adult or a child - so I fail to understand why anyone would accept being spanked as a child to be an act of love.

Maybe I'm an oddball, who knows...
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Old 05-31-2012, 08:55 AM
 
1,226 posts, read 952,385 times
Reputation: 1812
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
He's a spoiled little jerk. Sometimes the best antidote is a good old-fashioned a** kicking. Not all problems can be resolved through conversations, therapy, and U.N. peace resolutions.
He strikes me as a product of his environment. You reap what you sow.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AJBarney View Post
Yeah. Is there some regulation that says CD has to have another 'spanking/whooping/hitting/etc' thread started every week?

It's all been said. Multiple times.
And is there some regulation that obligates you to read threads in which you have no interest and post useless comments to belittle those that are interested? I must not have read that regulatioon, because I just skip the ones that I'm not interested in.... I would give that a try.
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:13 AM
 
7,331 posts, read 7,521,825 times
Reputation: 10527
No matter what kind of discipline YOU use on YOUR children at home, no one knows what's going on with a stranger they see at a store, so there is no point in saying what the other person should have done. Here are some possible scenarios for the situation with a child seeming to misbehave by throwing a perfume bottle in public.

1. The child is autistic and loses control when frustrated.
2. The child is mentally handicapped in some other way.
3. The child is in foster care, comes from an abusive background, and is testing foster parent's limits.
4. The child's other parent just died, he's grieving and cannot handle all of the emotions.
5. The parent is on probation for child abuse, the child is acting the way he's been taught (i.e., losing control when angry) and the parent is learning new discipline techniques.

I could go on and on, but hitting the child would be counter-productive in all of these situations. The bottom line is, mind your own business.
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:22 AM
 
Location: The State Line
1,687 posts, read 1,425,478 times
Reputation: 1803
Quote:
Originally Posted by LVKim8 View Post
This is called 'Caretaker Acceptance'. Studies have been done that suggest children accept spanking and even abusive punishment if they believe that their caretaker(usually parents) love and accept them. If they believe the punishment is being done out of rejection then they perceive the punishment as being abusive (Caretaker Rejection). So this means a child's need for parental acceptance is powerful and hence why we hear the 'I deserved it' reasoning from adults when they consider their childhoods.

To reject this way of discipline, especially if it's all a child knows, is to reject their parents. I think this is why corporal punishment continues to be passed down through generations despite evidence of its detrimental effects. This is not to say the quoted poster did not 'turn out all right' or that others haven't as well, but what it does say is the tie parents have to their children is already to their advantage, and corporal punishment is superfluous (imo). It should also be said that any number of discipline techniques (including spanking) will have a failure rate which is directly related to the age of a child and their stage of development. By nature, we learn through trial and error so the use of punitive methods, and yes, even time outs can be punitive, is also less likely to get positive results.
Oh please, enough with the Psychology. I studied enough of that myself to know Psychologists have a theory for everything, and will consider too many things some sort of "disorder". You may disagree, but I, and others I knew turned out just fine, and still love our parents.
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Old 05-31-2012, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,243 posts, read 1,259,101 times
Reputation: 3010
Quote:
Originally Posted by round4 View Post
Afraid that "hit" and discipline are two seperate things. If you don't discipline your children, you'll be visiting their graves ore seeing them behind bars....JMHO
Point out where I said "don't discipline your children". I said don't hit them, that's what ignorant small minded brutes with little brain power do. If someone upsets me and I punch them in the face, I could go to jail on assault charges. If someone does the same to a kid it's "discipline", those rats should be locked up, spineless small dark minded people who bully kids to get their rocks off on a power trip.
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Old 05-31-2012, 12:40 PM
 
400 posts, read 227,204 times
Reputation: 410
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhenomenalAJ View Post
Point out where I said "don't discipline your children". I said don't hit them, that's what ignorant small minded brutes with little brain power do. If someone upsets me and I punch them in the face, I could go to jail on assault charges. If someone does the same to a kid it's "discipline", those rats should be locked up, spineless small dark minded people who bully kids to get their rocks off on a power trip.
Wow, you are the king of inflammatory abusive language. Is this how you "discipline" your children instead? Are these the language skills those of us who have spanked our children are lacking?
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Old 05-31-2012, 04:17 PM
 
9,109 posts, read 4,927,401 times
Reputation: 8986
Quote:
Originally Posted by round4 View Post
Afraid that "hit" and discipline are two seperate things. If you don't discipline your children, you'll be visiting their graves ore seeing them behind bars....JMHO
And you can discipline children without ever laying a finger on them.
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Old 05-31-2012, 04:20 PM
 
9,109 posts, read 4,927,401 times
Reputation: 8986
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahdeanne View Post
Wow, you are the king of inflammatory abusive language. Is this how you "discipline" your children instead? Are these the language skills those of us who have spanked our children are lacking?
Ad homs on either side just belittle the debate.

But the debate itself begs the question, since we know children can be raised successfully without hitting them, and there is a risk of damaging them emotionally, why would a rational parent CHOOSE to hit their children?
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Old 05-31-2012, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,756 posts, read 53,328,551 times
Reputation: 36363
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
Discipline does not = whooping
Exactly.

Anyone spanking or "whooping" on a regular basis has no clue with real discipline really is and they need to educate themselves out of their ignorance.

A spank across the backside should be administered only in the event the child is doing, or just did, something very dangerous - like running into a busy street or playing with matches.
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