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Old 06-01-2012, 11:47 PM
 
1 posts, read 944 times
Reputation: 10
Default 21 yr old DO NOTHING is violent then pacified

Ok folks,

My good pal has a 21 year that does nothing, an intelligent young man that dropped out of high school, does not do drugs, sleeps till 3pm, does not work, plays video games in his room mostly.

My pal and his wife are afraid of him, he is very argumentative and can become violent. He is the eldest, and they feel... just keep calm, and don't upset him. He even says that they help him afford activities outside the home just to get him out of the house, like a weekend concert, or anything to get him away.

He evens pays for his cellphone. He tells me that he never uses it and it only cost a few extra bucks a month. And if he turned it off, the boy might break up the house, or hurt a younger family member.

My pal is convinced that his son has mental problems and will become homeless if they kick him out, so they just tolerate him. A few years ago, he was very prone to violence, and when they would toss him out, he would break up the exterior of the home and damage the family cars.

Maybe if a few of you share your similar experiences, then I forward this thread to him, and perhaps they will have a direction.

!!! Thanks in advance !!!
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Old 06-01-2012, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,311 posts, read 54,771,183 times
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wow, your friends are classic enablers.

They feel guilty about their son, so they continue to allow his poor behavior.

They need professional intervention.

Please encourage them to reach out for it!

In addition, a group like Tough Love could be a great resource.
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Old 06-02-2012, 12:49 AM
 
Location: Houston/Boston/Amsterdam
669 posts, read 549,335 times
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Has your friend taken her son to get a mental evaluation? While I don't doubt the fact that your friends are indeed enabling their son, there may be some other issues lurking that is causing his violent temper. It would be best for them to get the evaluation and then take steps to work on the problem instead of treating a grown man with kid gloves.
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Old 06-02-2012, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Mississippi
779 posts, read 587,789 times
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Kick him out, and if he becomes violent call the police. They created this problem.
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Old 06-02-2012, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,475 posts, read 3,123,325 times
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Yeah he sounds mental, have the police haul him away and taken the hospital to be evaluated.

If you do it just right they CAN take him, since you can't just forcibly admit a 21 year old for a mental eval.

Kick him out, wait for him to get angry, call cops, tell cops he might have mental issues, wait for cops to arrive, cops take him to the ER on an M-1 hold, then you await the outcome.
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Old 06-02-2012, 08:29 AM
 
47,586 posts, read 34,395,844 times
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If he's not doing drugs or drinking, his mental problems are probaby just that he's been allowed to throw tantrums like a 4 year old and he's learned he can get his way. Unless he actually has hurt someone, this may just be empty threats.

I think they just need to stop giving him money, cut off the cell phone and if he does actually get out of control, call the police and have him arrested for domestic violence or destruction of property. They are not doing him a single favor by allowing him to go on this way.

If they cut off money and the cell phone and he does not actually become violent, the kid may beg for money and they must refuse to give him any and tell him it's time to get a job.
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Old 06-02-2012, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,475 posts, read 3,123,325 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
If he's not doing drugs or drinking, his mental problems are probaby just that he's been allowed to throw tantrums like a 4 year old and he's learned he can get his way. Unless he actually has hurt someone, this may just be empty threats.

I think they just need to stop giving him money, cut off the cell phone and if he does actually get out of control, call the police and have him arrested for domestic violence or destruction of property. They are not doing him a single favor by allowing him to go on this way.

If they cut off money and the cell phone and he does not actually become violent, the kid may beg for money and they must refuse to give him any and tell him it's time to get a job.
Destruction of property yes.
Domestic violence no.

Domestic violence is between two people who are currently or have ever been in an intimate relationship, unless they play Incest the game the whole family enjoys, domestic violence is not applicable.
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Old 06-02-2012, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Mississippi
779 posts, read 587,789 times
Reputation: 1419
Domestic violence is not just intimate relationships. It's any violence in the home.
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Old 06-02-2012, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,475 posts, read 3,123,325 times
Reputation: 2396
(1) "Domestic violence" means an act or threatened act of violence upon a person with whom the actor is or has been involved in an intimate relationship.

In my state it is, be careful to tell people that, it depends on what state they are in.
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Old 06-02-2012, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Mississippi
779 posts, read 587,789 times
Reputation: 1419
In my state it can be "family violence." Perhaps you should be careful with your uneducated opinion. Here is the section of Mississippi State Law on domestic violence.

(3) A person is guilty of simple domestic violence who commits simple assault as described in subsection (1) of this section against a family or household member who resides with the defendant or who formerly resided with the defendant, a current or former spouse, a person who has a current dating relationship with the defendant, or a person with whom the defendant has had a biological or legally adopted child and upon conviction, the defendant shall be punished as provided under subsection (1) of this section; however, upon a third or subsequent conviction of simple domestic violence, whether against the same or another victim and within five (5) years, the defendant shall be guilty of a felony and sentenced to a term of imprisonment not less than five (5) nor more than ten (10) years. In sentencing, the court shall consider as an aggravating factor whether the crime was committed in the physical presence or hearing of a child under sixteen (16) years of age who was, at the time of the offense, living within either the residence of the victim, the residence of the perpetrator, or the residence where the offense occurred.

Last edited by Madeline2121; 06-02-2012 at 10:02 AM..
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