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It really doesn't sound like your kids were that attached to the tv anyway. I applaud you for making a tough decision and sticking with it. If removing the tv is what is best for your family then great. I'm glad to hear that the fights have decreased because that was a bigger deal in my opinion then whether or not they could watch tv.
I believe in moderation. We love the history and discovery channels. I'd be more concerned about your kids fighting to the point of making eachother bleed. Why wasn't that a bigger concern? Their fights should have never escalated to this.
My family rarely watches the old tube but they do watch shows on the internet. I find the computer to be the new attention grabber. We are now "chair potato's" with a record number of teens with hemorrhoids and carpal tunnel from over using their computers.
My kids wouldn't even know if the t.v. was removed. I'm the only one who watches it, and like others have said I watch the science shows and history shows although they are starting to lack content as well lately. Other than that I watch foreign shows on the internet.
We've solved some of this issue lately with stand up computer desks and a tread mill with a laptop stand so they can walk as they surf. All three of mine use their computers for school so they use it a lot. I also require an outdoor activity once a day, like tennis, bike riding, etc. It's a house rule, as well as a diet change which we stick to most of the time but not always. We are far from perfect but trying to move through the future technology with some brains and body parts left. lol
I'm glad you stopped the fighting, having boys is always a testosterone adventure. Take heart, almost every family I've know with 2 or more boys had this very issue.
I only have one boy and two girls so I only deal with some verbal outbursts which I've solved making everyone write their complaints with a paper and pencil. ha ha, it works so well most of the time they just bypass the yelling for fear of writing, which seems like old fashion torture to them. I'm not so sure that's a good side effect but at least we leave in peace. It has to be a pretty serious issue for them to write it all down.
I'm glad you stopped the fighting, having boys is always a testosterone adventure. Take heart, almost every family I've know with 2 or more boys had this very issue.
I've asked this question earlier in the thread: Is it possible that fights that include blood (usually via scratching and perhaps never via punching) are within the standard deviation of normal behavior with boys so close in age? Or as many in this thread suggest, something is seriously wrong, even though I think I've described an otherwise mostly normal set of behaviors and good parental modeling for the family. Keep in mind, neither of my oldest boys do anything other than some verbal jousting with their sister who is 4 and 6 years younger than my older boys. Perhaps this behavior is more typical of boys so close in age, and the experiences others in this thread are using to say something is wrong include siblings further apart in age, and perhaps of different sexes? Or maybe my boys are destined to become wife beaters and murderers someday (chas v'shalom!)
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I've solved making everyone write their complaints with a paper and pencil. ha ha, it works so well most of the time they just bypass the yelling for fear of writing, which seems like old fashion torture to them.
I absolutely LOVE that idea and will speak with my wife about implementing it tonight. My oldest is in OT for his poor handwriting, so it may even fit some of his personal objectives with his OT. Great stuff we can learn here in this forum! Thanks.
I've asked this question earlier in the thread: Is it possible that fights that include blood (usually via scratching and perhaps never via punching) are within the standard deviation of normal behavior with boys so close in age? Or as many in this thread suggest, something is seriously wrong, even though I think I've described an otherwise mostly normal set of behaviors and good parental modeling for the family. Keep in mind, neither of my oldest boys do anything other than some verbal jousting with their sister who is 4 and 6 years younger than my older boys. Perhaps this behavior is more typical of boys so close in age, and the experiences others in this thread are using to say something is wrong include siblings further apart in age, and perhaps of different sexes? Or maybe my boys are destined to become wife beaters and murderers someday (chas v'shalom!)
Ha, ha, I guess there are of course some boys who keep it in check naturally but I haven't seen any personally. Within my neighborhood I see it all the time. People at work who have two or more boys always talk about them getting physical. It's like they have velcro stuck to one side of their little bodies and you're always pulling the little things apart. lol
Even little girl sibs can get into a physical tussle now and then when close in age. Although they usually do the verbal scream fest and test out their manipulating skills on each other more.
It doesn't mean they will become murders as adults. It's the same with a pack of puppies, they tumble around together and with physical play comes some physical disagreement. (disclaimer, I know we aren't dogs, lol) That is why we talk to them instead of bite them on the leg when we see it.
Already sounds like you've set guidelines and as you've said they will limit it but not totally eliminate it. That's the same advice given over and over again in these links so you are on track.
Problems with it occur when you see one always dominating another, or they don't get back to having play times together shortly after the disagreement. If they play and fight together, totally normal, if they never play together and one is always dominating the other with fear, needs to be addressed differently. Sounds like yours play and fight which is just like a healthy pack of puppies. lol
I absolutely LOVE that idea and will speak with my wife about implementing it tonight. My oldest is in OT for his poor handwriting, so it may even fit some of his personal objectives with his OT. Great stuff we can learn here in this forum! Thanks.
Oh yes, it's a great way to stop the screaming and yelling, I have 3 kids so it was an issue I needed to address.
Also, in our case it seems like when the kids actually have a serious issue to talk about, going into a discussion with me in writing helps them feel we are paying total attention to it, we have to read it, and nobody else can interrupt during it because they can't hear it. Then we have a private talk about it.
Plus, they are only willing to write it out if it is indeed important enough to warrant the extra attention from them. So I know it must be important enough for me to read it. They rarely write out small arguement issues, it's not worth their time. That frees me up, it never worked telling them it's not worth my time, but this has worked great. Glad to share it.
Oh and FYI, the handwriting is always an issue with my son, I chose to not sweat the small stuff on this one. He does his work without much complaint and because I had older ones I knew that by the time he reached Jr. High he would hand in most everything typed, and by high school my girls never wrote, they typed. I decided to teach him how to type instead, worked great. There are free typing websites for kids, he'll thank you in high school and college for that lesson.
Problems with it occur when you see one always dominating another, or they don't get back to having play times together shortly after the disagreement. If they play and fight together, totally normal, if they never play together and one is always dominating the other with fear, needs to be addressed differently. Sounds like yours play and fight which is just like a healthy pack of puppies. lol
I'm often amazed how one minute they can be rolling around on the floor with head locks and the such, and literally 10 minutes later they're playing lego's together peacfully. Both hold their own - neither seems to have the physical advantage. I often describe my oldest boys as best friends and mortal enemies. And yet when one spends the night out at a friend's house, the one left behind will often (reluctantly) admit he's lonely without his brother (and play mate) nearby.
Since you mentioned being Orthodox, have you ever heard/read Rabbi Shmuley? He used to have a show on TLC called Shalom in the Home. He would observe families in conflict and help them find more peaceful ways. Loved that show. Anyway, here's his webiste. Rabbi Shmuley
Best of luck.
Since you mentioned being Orthodox, have you ever heard/read Rabbi Shmuley? He used to have a show on TLC called Shalom in the Home. He would observe families in conflict and help them find more peaceful ways. Loved that show. Anyway, here's his webiste. Rabbi Shmuley
Best of luck.
I've heard of him. I understand he's a very interesting guy.
But I'm leaning towards thinking that PoppySead has pegged this the closest - that some fighting among boys close in age is normal, especially when the same boys fighting are best friends and mostly play nicely together.
Should be fun tonight when I inform them that all complaints on their siblings going forward must be submitted in writing.
We lost our TV service last summer. I had canceled our satellite service and when the cable guy came to install our cable TV service the next day he realized it would require a work order to dig a trench from our house to a hookup on our road. The process took over a month.
My kids whined and were miserable at first but got used to it. They started reading more and spending more time outside. It was actually quite peaceful around the house without the background noise from inane Disney Channel programs.
A good number of families near us have no cable/satellite service at all. Some do it to force their children to spend more time enjoying creative play; others feel the consumer culture glorified on many TV programs is a negative influence. And, there are a few families who live in more rural neighborhoods where they haven't installed the necessary fiber optic cables yet.
Could it be that in some families the kids fight with their fists and others they fight with their words - and that's not right or wrong? We consistetly try to demonstrate for the kids that words are more effective than fists, but clearly the message does not always get through. We don't ever strike our children (or each other, of course). Although I know I did say somewhere earlier in this thread that their daily/weekly fist fights with each other have turned into monthly/bi-monthly fights - so we are making progress.
The thing is that you are blaming the fighting on the tv when it is clearly something that you are your wife had not dealt with appropriately. Children can be taught to resolve conflict without fighting (most of the time).
All siblings fight a little. However, siblings do not need to fight all the time. Kids need to be taught to give and take when the inevitable conflict does occur. I think that you are making a mistake by assuming that the problem was caused by tv and solved by removing the tv. There are millions of kids who watch tv and learn to resolve conflict without fighting. Yours can learn also but you have to teach them.
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Take heart, almost every family I've know with 2 or more boys had this very issue. 
That frees me up, it never worked telling them it's not worth my time, but this has worked great. Glad to share it.
