Boys in girls bathrooms/dressing rooms...ok or not? (daughter, 5 years old, husband)

[Hedgehog_Mom]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

I would be very uncomfortable if I had a 9 year old boy in the ladies restroom or dressing room with me. 9 is old enough for him to learn how to scream if somebody is messing with him in the men's bathroom and way too old to go into the ladies bathroom. I think that kind of overprotectiveness is only going to cause some stunted growth.

My husband's mom was like that with him. He learned how to hold it until he got home, no matter how many hours that was...although he still had to go in with her if she had to go.

[Dad_loves_to_cook]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

I would be very uncomfortable if I had a 9 year old boy in the ladies restroom or dressing room with me. 9 is old enough for him to learn how to scream if somebody is messing with him in the men's bathroom and way too old to go into the ladies bathroom. I think that kind of overprotectiveness is only going to cause some stunted growth.

Well then it's a good thing I am his father and guardian cause I will do what I know is best for him. If it's overprotective to other then so be it. My parents were not protective of us at all and I know what the other side of the coin is like. As for my daughter, she does go in the bathroom alone but I wait outside for her (she is a teen). If my wife is with her she goes with her. My kids will not be an amber alert waiting to happen.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by Dad_loves_to_cook

Well then it's a good thing I am his father and guardian cause I will do what I know is best for him. If it's overprotective to other then so be it. My parents were not protective of us at all and I know what the other side of the coin is like. As for my daughter, she does go in the bathroom alone but I wait outside for her (she is a teen). If my wife is with her she goes with her. My kids will not be an amber alert waiting to happen.

I wonder what your wife does when she's alone with him. Do you think she takes him into the ladies room EVERYWHERE? I mean, you are the dad, and he's a boy; easy enough for you to go in with him, and no one would be uncomfortable. It is harder when you are a mom of boys. My oldest is about to turn 9. There are some places I won't let him go alone, but more often than not, I let the 2 boys go in together (the other one is 6). At what age did you stop taking your daughter into the men's room?

[=Lavender=]

How about little girls who are with their dads how does that work? Im not a mom so i am just curious does the dad take his daughter to the mens room and don't they have open urine-als ? Same with dressing rooms do the dads take their daughters in with them?

[Dad_loves_to_cook]

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

I wonder what your wife does when she's alone with him. Do you think she takes him into the ladies room EVERYWHERE? I mean, you are the dad, and he's a boy; easy enough for you to go in with him, and no one would be uncomfortable. It is harder when you are a mom of boys. My oldest is about to turn 9. There are some places I won't let him go alone, but more often than not, I let the 2 boys go in together (the other one is 6). At what age did you stop taking your daughter into the men's room?

Stopped taking my daughter in when she was in kindergarten. When my wife has the kids they look for a family restroom and she has him go in alone and waits outside. If I had two children of the same gender it would make it easier.

[Dad_loves_to_cook]

Originally Posted by =Lavender=

How about little girls who are with their dads how does that work? Im not a mom so i am just curious does the dad take his daughter to the mens room and don't they have open urine-als ? Same with dressing rooms do the dads take their daughters in with them?

Up until age 5 when I had my daughter by myself she'd come into the men's room with me unless we found a family restroom. There was usually an open stall and I'd take the kids in there. I was very respectful of other guys especially the teens and 20 somethings that weren't used to kids. Most guys are very understanding of dads and their kids. More men's rooms have changing tables now than when my daughter was little.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

Originally Posted by =Lavender=

How about little girls who are with their dads how does that work? Im not a mom so i am just curious does the dad take his daughter to the mens room and don't they have open urine-als ? Same with dressing rooms do the dads take their daughters in with them?

I think most dads just send the little girl into the ladies restroom alone, assuming she's big enough to manage on her own. My husband would never take the kids anywhere without me until they were old enough to manage the bathroom stuff by themselves. There was one time he had to take our daughter to the bathroom (I was in the car with a broken leg, on the way to the emergency room). He took her in the mens room, which didn't have any other men in it, but she refused to go because she said the restroom wasn't clean enough and there was a boy in it (she meant her daddy).

About dressing rooms, how many men try things on? That's a sincere question...I can think of maybe three times in 15 years that my husband has been in a dressing room, and never without protest.

[AnnaNomus]

I think also a reason that a father might feel better about sending his young daughter alone in the women's room than taking her in the men's room is because most people presume that sexual predators are male, so a little girl (or boy) would be safer in the ladies room than in the men's. It is interesting that the poster above wouldn't let his 9 year old son go into the men's room alone, but sent his kindergarten daughter in the ladies room alone, and I'm guessing that is the reason...because women are considered safer and less dangerous than men.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by AnnaNomus

I think also a reason that a father might feel better about sending his young daughter alone in the women's room than taking her in the men's room is because most people presume that sexual predators are male, so a little girl (or boy) would be safer in the ladies room than in the men's. It is interesting that the poster above wouldn't let his 9 year old son go into the men's room alone, but sent his kindergarten daughter in the ladies room alone, and I'm guessing that is the reason...because women are considered safer and less dangerous than men.

I caught that too. Though I'd use the word "hypocritical" rather than "interesting". I let my similarly aged son use the bathroom alone and would also do so if he were a girl.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by Dad_loves_to_cook

Stopped taking my daughter in when she was in kindergarten. When my wife has the kids they look for a family restroom and she has him go in alone and waits outside. If I had two children of the same gender it would make it easier.

So your answer is basically 5 years old like almost every other poster. I'm not sure why you had to make it into a big convoluted amber-alert-waiting-to-happen story when you pretty much did what the rest of us do.