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Old 07-22-2013, 11:29 AM
Location: Dallas
5,457 posts, read 4,575,985 times
Reputation: 15588


Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Although it is surprising that he never caught on to the real meaning of Mother's Day before he was 27 years old I am glad that you talked to him and explained your feelings.

My children, esp. my daughter, sends special "I love you" and "thinking of you" and "thank you for being a wonderful Mom" cards and emails thoughout the entire year. That is much more important that a "forced thank you" on Mother's Day.

My son has almost totally boycotted "made-up holidays" like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day and Father's Day but is a sweet, wonderful, caring son the entire year. That is more imprtant to me.
I couldn't agree more. Actually I detest the whole idea of Mother's Day. Why guilt someone into buying a sappy card, a present or dinner on one day a year? My kids let me know throughout the year how much I mean to them; we have a loving relationship on all 364 days of the year and they don't need to do anything special on Mother's Day, although they want to and usually do. They still get the wonderfully sappy cards, but I know they are from the heart and not out of obligation.

OP, I wouldn't stress too much if your daughter forgot you on Mothers Day as long as your relationship is strong and loving on every other day of the year.
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Old 07-23-2013, 11:58 PM
Location: Not where I want to be
4,827 posts, read 6,928,029 times
Reputation: 7643
I haven't gotten a Christmas gift, Mother's Day gift, birthday gift in I can't remember how long. My birthday is this week .... let's see what happens. I'm not counting on anything, though.
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Old 07-24-2013, 12:46 AM
Location: California
29,580 posts, read 31,900,225 times
Reputation: 24725
I forgot my moms birthday a few years back, just 2 days after she invited me to join her and my cousin (who shares her bd) for lunch that day...and I said no!!!! I was going through some stuff and was in a funk, feeling sorry for myself. Boy, was THAT a mistake!!! She didn't talk to me for weeks!

I always remind my kids of special events coming up. I usually don't put stock in "...days" but once in awhile I need something and I'll let them know.
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Old 07-24-2013, 07:54 PM
9,647 posts, read 7,629,801 times
Reputation: 17477
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
See you forgot your mom's b-day, but you felt bad and I believe that you had a great excuse. I actually don't think my dd forgot and she had her older sis to remind her anyway. If she did forget, she's not admitting it and instead turned it around on me and said that I was materialistic. It's like even after I told her it hurt my feelings, she just doesn't get it and she doesn't get why it would bother me that she got something for her dad and not for me and even he, one of the most insensitive people I know, realized why it would be hurtful. He forgot MD once and then a few years later I turned around and forgot FD (not on purpose!) so I understand forgetting an occasion but I don't understand saying that you figured that the person wouldn't care about a gift or card anyway. BTW, her dad and I have been parted for about 3-1/2 years.

And L.K. I do agree that it's become overcommercialized and I don't like corporations dictating to me how I should feel, but let's face it, if it gets left out it hurts. Or if dd feels that way, then she should leave her dad out too and should probably drop her expectations for anything on her b-day as well. (No, I won't do that!)
Okay, this is kinda late - but how about you and your daughter(s) declaring your own Mother-Daughter Day, and doing something that's special for all of you? Go someplace you all enjoy, or go somewhere interesting that you haven't been before, get your hair done together, go to a movie, work on a craft project, send out for pizza and watch chick flicks - whatever seems like a good mother-daughter bonding experience. Check all hurt feelings, resentment, and snarkiness at the door. Promise each other that you won't criticize one another or get your feelings unnecessarily hurt or make hurtful or sarcastic remarks - no eye-rolling, either. Take pictures of your special day, and put the best one in a nice frame.

This takes the onus off the forgetful ones and off the hurt feelings, and puts the emphasis on the mother-daughter relationship rather than on the individuals who happen to fall into one of those categories.

Special times make much better memories.
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Old 07-27-2013, 07:03 AM
Location: 60630
11,626 posts, read 17,035,814 times
Reputation: 10632
That's how I feel too. Especially after working retail. I could never be upset if my son forgot about it.

Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
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Old 07-27-2013, 07:10 AM
Location: 60630
11,626 posts, read 17,035,814 times
Reputation: 10632
Originally Posted by jhlhml View Post
Hey, I actually had my dd "forget" to give me even a card at Christmas one year. Had the friggin' nerve to beg $ from me to get her dad something, and used the remainder of her paycheck to buy friends presents, but me? Not one thing. All I got was "I didn't have enough $ so when I get paid, I'll get you yours." Course, it never happened. Even a hand-made card would have passed, but not anything. It HURT and it HURT bad. I couldn't say a word cause I was totally speechless. She was 16.
It's amazing how different people are. My parents never cared about gifts or cards. I mean, sure, they were happy to get something like a card but they were almost upset if I spent money on a gift. Waste of my money as they put it.

Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
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Old 07-27-2013, 07:55 AM
2,612 posts, read 4,586,684 times
Reputation: 3937
I am so sick of mother's and father's day. Aren't those basically Hallmark-invented holidays to sell more cards? It's just not noteworthy, and more of a pain than anything else. I mean, you don't get the day off or anything. I've often forgotten mother's and father's day - and I am a mother. If I remember I send a card, but it just isn't a meaningful holiday to me. Or, I suspect, to most people. It's more the kind of holiday where you do something just in order not to insult a sensitive parent.
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Old 07-27-2013, 08:23 AM
Location: No. Calif
20 posts, read 25,809 times
Reputation: 50
Kids that age just dont think about others without being prompted.
I always text the kids, reminding them of Fathers Day/Birthday etc...and gift gift ideas, like a Starbucks Card, or Smellies from Bath & Body, or just a greeting card...if they show up with a gift or a card, it's a win/win. It's also training in progress, embeds the thoughtfullness into their little developing brains for when they are adults.
Additionally, it's not always about the gift or card either. I have had perfectly wonderful Christmas' where my kids have shown up empty handed. Not because they forgot, or were lazy.. but because they are working 2 jobs and going to school fulltime to better themselves. Being with family on special days is gift enough in my world.
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Old 07-29-2013, 04:10 PM
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,242,129 times
Reputation: 22270
Are you all really that hung up on a day that was basically created to sell greeting cards????

I could not care less who does or doesn't acknowledge my presence in their lives on Mother's Day or my birthday, for that matter.

Now, I do notice how I get treated, in general, throughout the year. That is what matters to me.

I have a wonderful son who treats me so well all year round . . . he called me this evening to ask if he and his fiancee could bring some food over and have dinner with me. Those are the things that let me know he cares about me -- not a card or call on Mother's Day.
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Old 07-29-2013, 04:40 PM
Location: Camberville
11,394 posts, read 15,991,510 times
Reputation: 18031
After my mother threw a fit when I forgot about Mother's Day while going through chemo (Mother's Day fell 2 days after a treatment and I couldn't get out of bed, much less think to mail a card or muster a phone call), I no longer recognize holidays for my parents. At the time I had just turned 23, was dealing with a Stage IV cancer diagnosis, and had very little support from my family. Even if I hadn't been so incredibly ill, I was not all that inclined to celebrate a woman who couldn't visit her own daughter who was very ill. For years, my memories of holidays are sullied with my mom pitching a tantrum because the gifts my dad, brother, and I got her weren't good enough or weren't what she wanted. She still pitches fits about Mother's Day today, but it's easier to have a blanket "No holiday for parents" policy than to give in to her toxic pressure.
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