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Old 07-30-2013, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,512 posts, read 15,993,212 times
Reputation: 38949

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Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
After my mother threw a fit when I forgot about Mother's Day while going through chemo (Mother's Day fell 2 days after a treatment and I couldn't get out of bed, much less think to mail a card or muster a phone call), I no longer recognize holidays for my parents. At the time I had just turned 23, was dealing with a Stage IV cancer diagnosis, and had very little support from my family. Even if I hadn't been so incredibly ill, I was not all that inclined to celebrate a woman who couldn't visit her own daughter who was very ill. For years, my memories of holidays are sullied with my mom pitching a tantrum because the gifts my dad, brother, and I got her weren't good enough or weren't what she wanted. She still pitches fits about Mother's Day today, but it's easier to have a blanket "No holiday for parents" policy than to give in to her toxic pressure.
I am so sorry that happened to you.

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Hugs (past & present)

Last edited by Jaded; 08-01-2013 at 12:56 AM.. Reason: No name calling please.
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:07 AM
 
3,392 posts, read 2,508,498 times
Reputation: 4181
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Has anyone ever had a child that neglected to acknowledge mother's day?
I would BE one of those children.

I refuse - entirely - to be loving - romantic - thoughtful - or any such thing - when some date arbitrarily chosen on the calander - by someone I have never met - tells me I have to be.

I do my loving - romancing - thinking - and so forth when it feels right to me - when I truely mean it - not when the calander says "must buy mother a card today" - or "St. Valentine says I must show my partners I love them today".

When a gift - a thought - or a token of my dedication to someone comes from me it comes because I _meant_ it at the time and it came from me - not a society schedule.
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Old 07-31-2013, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,683,063 times
Reputation: 19413
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Or father's day for that matter? I"m asking b/c my dd did it again--she didn't even bother to say MD, much less get a card or a little gift or anything. I might have been ok with it if she hadn't needed a ride to the mall yesterday to get her dad a belated something--since yesterday was the only day all week that he had time for her. Of course I'm the custodial parent and he's the one who left. I told her my feelings and she's turning it around to something that I just want material goods but I told her I would have been happy with a homemade card--something that showed a little bit of thought.
Yep, the oldest. If you're one of the folks who know the story of my oldest child, you are not surprised. All three of the other kids are excellent at remembering....always.

Forget her birthday...just once ought to do it. She'll never forget you again. You don't even have to really forget it, just pretend that you forgot it, then when her world starts to crumble and she starts being pi$$y, go to your hiding place and bring out her present and card. With a smile, gently say, "That hurts, doesn't it?....that one special day of the year and the person closest to you, doesn't even remember. Yes, it's very disappointing."
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Old 12-28-2015, 03:59 PM
 
1 posts, read 726 times
Reputation: 10
My kids not only forget mothers day, but I got to watch via skype while they open my christmas, birthday, mothers day presents from me and I never get a card, present, nothing. I am always the strong one, never complained, give and give and give. I know they love me, but they just think "i will understand" as I see there father, brothers, inlaws all opening the gifts they gave them. I do live away from them as I moved to take care of my elderly parents, but I make sure they all get gifts. There is no way to tell them without making it worse, so I think I'll just slip away and no one will even notice.
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Old 12-28-2015, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Dallas
5,467 posts, read 4,594,342 times
Reputation: 15594
Quote:
Originally Posted by allwayslast View Post
My kids not only forget mothers day, but I got to watch via skype while they open my christmas, birthday, mothers day presents from me and I never get a card, present, nothing. I am always the strong one, never complained, give and give and give. I know they love me, but they just think "i will understand" as I see there father, brothers, inlaws all opening the gifts they gave them. I do live away from them as I moved to take care of my elderly parents, but I make sure they all get gifts. There is no way to tell them without making it worse, so I think I'll just slip away and no one will even notice.
That is sad. Maybe it's time to stop buying them gifts. If they are buying for other members of the family, leaving you out is wrong.
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Old 12-28-2015, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,512 posts, read 15,993,212 times
Reputation: 38949
Quote:
Originally Posted by allwayslast View Post
My kids not only forget mothers day, but I got to watch via skype while they open my christmas, birthday, mothers day presents from me and I never get a card, present, nothing. I am always the strong one, never complained, give and give and give. I know they love me, but they just think "i will understand" as I see there father, brothers, inlaws all opening the gifts they gave them. I do live away from them as I moved to take care of my elderly parents, but I make sure they all get gifts. There is no way to tell them without making it worse, so I think I'll just slip away and no one will even notice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath View Post
That is sad. Maybe it's time to stop buying them gifts. If they are buying for other members of the family, leaving you out is wrong.
I agree.
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Old 01-07-2016, 07:16 AM
 
3,759 posts, read 2,919,197 times
Reputation: 12004
I have never understood why people set themselves up to feel bad. Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Christmas, Birthdays. If you dont get what you feel you deserve on a certain day, you feel neglected..oh poor me, nobody got me anything.

It doesnt matter what people do on those days. Its all the other days that count. Not a made up fake day that forces someone to say something to you, like some robot.

Yes, I hate holidays, for all the bad feelings they cause people to have.
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Old 01-07-2016, 11:11 AM
 
770 posts, read 566,556 times
Reputation: 1475
If it was me, when she asked for a ride, i would say" sorry i cant, its my day off to relax, mothers day after all"
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Old 05-14-2017, 04:36 PM
 
1 posts, read 383 times
Reputation: 15
I understand all the hurt feelings. My daughter, 33 years old, forgot Mother's day, forgets my birthday. I feel like toy in the "land of misfit toys"! I guess we all have to pick ourselves up and realize the society we live in now. It's the "me" generation now. Others feelings don't seem to matter anymore. It doesn't seem to matter how well we've raised our children, society seems to be changing the good moral and ethics we as mothers and yes fathers had established.
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Old 05-14-2017, 05:03 PM
 
987 posts, read 400,809 times
Reputation: 2484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Teens are NOTORIOUSLY self-centered, and in my experience they do not see holidays from an adult point of view. They still only see them as a kid receiving gifts.
LOL, I have a relative who is almost 40 that fits this description.


Re the OP, I think it depends on what expectations have been set historically in the family regarding Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc. I recall the family going out to dinner on those days when I was growing up, but I didn't start buying cards with my own money until I was an adult. I honestly don't remember if I called from college for that day (MD anyway).
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