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I understand all the hurt feelings. My daughter, 33 years old, forgot Mother's day, forgets my birthday. I feel like toy in the "land of misfit toys"! I guess we all have to pick ourselves up and realize the society we live in now. It's the "me" generation now. Others feelings don't seem to matter anymore. It doesn't seem to matter how well we've raised our children, society seems to be changing the good moral and ethics we as mothers and yes fathers had established.
My daughtet is 25, and she isn't like that, so don't label a whole generation or group of people based on your limited experience. I got a great card and a nice plant today. A couple of years ago, I got a tin box full of strips of paper that said things like thank you for teaching me X, and I'm glad you survived on 9/11, and I hope you achieve your dream.of doing Y. I still reach in and pull one out to read every so often.
She can't be the only young adult who is caring to her parents. Their generation is as varied as mine.
^^One daughter sent me a bouquet of beautiful Gerbera daisies. She and her DH are on a trip to Yellowstone Nat. Park and don't always have phone service, but she did text this morning. The other was just out to visit from Minneapolis last week and she called today. These are millennial aged kids too.
My children are also teens. My son is currently traveling with my husband. At around noon, he texted me "happy mothers day." My daughter came out of her bedroom while I was making breakfast this morning, and I said, "it's mother's day!" She said "I know." Then nothing. After a minute or so, I said, "you know, it's polite to wish your mother happy mother's day on that day." So she said "happy mother's day." That was it.
I'm not worried about it. Teenagers are extremely self-centered. I get along well with my kids and they are fairly helpful and kind. I figure once they move out and are adults on their own, maybe they'll be more aware of that type of thing.
Teenagers are extremely self-centered. I get along well with my kids and they are fairly helpful and kind. I figure once they move out and are adults on their own, maybe they'll be more aware of that type of thing.
While I don't think all teens are selfish, I have a relative (now in college) who has never thanked me even once and I've steadily given him birthday, Christmas gifts every single year, along with graduation gifts. He knows how to contact me too. I've often wondered about this. When I was growing up, I was expected to write and mail formal thank you cards or at least say a verbal thank you.
While I don't think all teens are selfish, I have a relative (now in college) who has never thanked me even once and I've steadily given him birthday, Christmas gifts every single year, along with graduation gifts. He knows how to contact me too. I've often wondered about this. When I was growing up, I was expected to write and mail formal thank you cards or at least say a verbal thank you.
No one must expect him to do that. Or taught him to do that.
When I was young there were so many reminders. Paper calendars that had special days imprinted on them and lots of TV adds (Hallmark) made it difficult to miss anything. I don't think that is the major reason though. The fact that I have NEVER received a thank-you for gifts, including Wedding, from 2 of my nieces tells me that some of them are just selfish and ill mannered today. Sad.
The foundation for any celebration of mothering or fathering (or holiday, for that matter) is the underlying quality of relationship, and meaning (or value) someone (or something) has to our lives.
It's not about a piece of paper, a gift, or perfunctory action.
Cynic's say it's about consumerism.
Isn't that true about everything?! Maybe we should celebrate holiday's all year long and not on a given day?!
There is something very sweet about being lovingly remembered all year, AND especially on a given day.
For the $1.50 it costs at the dollar store to buy a card, seems like a small cost to send some love.
But then, it never really was about the money, was it?
Human nature HATES being told what to do--so we rebel against things we actually really care about.
We learn how to love as much as we learn to un-love.
It's never about the cards at all.
It's about love.
and taking the time to show that love.
Unfortunately, sometimes our lives are too chaotic or past hurts too painful that we just can't seem to manage a card.
Heh, I wished my kids a happy mother's day, got a nice long conversation out of both of them (young adults) and a thank you from one of them for having never been a 'nightmare of a mom'. I'll take it.
Beats sitting around hoping they'll remember to call or buy me something, and trying to gauge how much they love me based on that.
It's a made up holiday invented to drum up sales during a slow period. Everyday is mother's day or father's day. It could be me that was in the emergency room with the newly diagnosed cancer (me, kid, wife, anyone) or the plethora of other major issues real people have everyday.
Getting all boo hoo over a card or not nice enough gift or whatever is pretty ridiculous. Try and not just be a sheep. If you're unhappy with how you're treated part of that is on you, one day of over priced card isn't going to change that.
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