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Well I am inspired by the posters that actually gave it a shot & did try to open their homes to help a kid in need; even if it didn't work out, the effort was there.
I'm sure that blessings are in store for ya'll, for that.
I am reading all these posts & it just confirms what I'm deciding...that there has to be a different way for this kid to get on his feet. I can't sacrifice my peaceful home life for anyone. I'm going to suggest the military, & also provide him with local food pantry info; I also am going to get the numbers for him to apply for food stamps & give him some apartment leads. That's all I can do for now; my son's friend just now told me to not stress over it- that it's not my problem.....but still I hate the harshness of it.
Well I am inspired by the posters that actually gave it a shot & did try to open their homes to help a kid in need; even if it didn't work out, the effort was there.
I'm sure that blessings are in store for ya'll, for that.
I am reading all these posts & it just confirms what I'm deciding...that there has to be a different way for this kid to get on his feet. I can't sacrifice my peaceful home life for anyone. I'm going to suggest the military, & also provide him with local food pantry info; I also am going to get the numbers for him to apply for food stamps & give him some apartment leads. That's all I can do for now; my son's friend just now told me to not stress over it- that it's not my problem.....but still I hate the harshness of it.
Please send me a DM. I made mistakes but I would never chage having B in our lives.
Well....I did. But a word of warning, he's 25 and still here
To be fair he was on his own for 3 years and just sort of "bounced" back like a lot of young adults do.
They do bounce back. Back and forth.
I'm a lot richer for having done this. I don't think it was a mistake. I just think that I was too idealistic. If I had entered it thinking "I'm getting this kid out of a bad situation and giving him safety and love", I would have been less disappointed.
I do wish he had a stable job and less questionable girlfriends.
I don't have expectations other than that he is safe and well. And generally when I don't here from him, that's the case.
Is it a one way street? Yeah. A bit like regular parenting - but with less control.
I'm in the camp that you try and help this kid if you have the means. You could really impact his life in the positive, make a big difference and leave a legacy of kindness and charity behind that is worth much more than money and time.
Just my 2 cents.
I've been getting lots of different perspectives here; I usually do whatever it takes to help.
But this situation is very different.
I can't expose my own kid to a troubled kid.
The more I think about it the more I realize it could turn into a disaster.
I've been getting lots of different perspectives here; I usually do whatever it takes to help.
But this situation is very different.
I can't expose my own kid to a troubled kid.
The more I think about it the more I realize it could turn into a disaster.
Yes, I think you owe it to your own child to listen to him on this one. There's something the kids now about this guy that you don't know, your son is trying to tell you so listen to him.
I've allowed kids to stay at my house so they could be safe and get started. It can be frustrating because I'm pretty big on not wasting water and electricity and I can yell at my own kids for taking overly long showers -- and to me 5 minutes is overly long but when it's someone else, and the water is still going after an hour, and you've knocked on the door but they don't get the hint, it can get very old very fast.
A lot of these kids weren't raised right. And they weren't raised by you -- try teaching a 19 year old kid that isn't yours how to drive -- my kids thought I should try to teach some kid whose parent did nothing for him and was staying in our house how to drive but the first time was the last time. I realized then that all the go-karts, atv's were for a purpose and kids that have already driven are much easier the first time on the road. Plus it helps if they're already used to be nagged and yelled at to slow down.
One kid was 19 and jobless, he had walked out of every job he'd had usually by 2 weeks, also dropped out of high school, joined the military but dropped out of that also. He wasn't a bad kid and I would give him all my best advice on getting a job and being smart about not walking out and holding on to the job at least until you have another. How you sometimes just have to suck it up and put up with crappy bosses, hang in their, a job is the only way you can make it, blah blah blah.... He would listen and he then got a job and still has it, and I've heard he's in college now so I think I may have helped him.
Taking a troubled person into your home needs a little more thought and I probably wouldn't do it if I were in your shoes.
It worked out well for me because he just hung around so much during high school that we got to know each other pretty well and he wasn't trouble. He just never had a dad and his mom was dealing with her own problems and didn't have time for him so he was alone a lot and prefered to hang out here with us. There was some delay in growing up, like learning to drive, figuring out how to do banking and insurance and his taxes, applying to community college and stuff like that..which is where I came in. He also gets along well with my kids so I didn't have to do much beside be here and provide some financial support from time to time, for which he is always been grateful. Right now both he and my 21 year old son are on the same page in life, they both live here, go to college and work. He isn't super social and doesn't bring people over except for an occasional visit from his gf, and they stay in the family room. I have a "no guest in bedrooms or overnight" policy for both the boys which is strictly enforced. They don't mind. He goes out of his way to stay in my good graces. We get along really and he's been good company for me during some low point in my own life, but I'm looking forward to both of the boys being independent and out on their own ...one of these years.
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