Older Boy Asked My 8-Year Old Daughter to "Go out with him" (out of control, girls)

[psr13]

Originally Posted by Lucidkitty

Yeah well that is pretty much like .000001 percent of kids that age.

From what I hear, it's not all the uncommon in certain areas. Certainly, it's far more common than most people think.

[Trimac20]

At that age I wasn't even interested in anything sexual, most normal kids aren't. What appears to be sexual to us adults is just natural curiosity. I recall finding nudity funny, for instance, so we invented games involving nudity although we never actually went through with them. If he's a normal 10 year old kid I wouldn't worry, it's probably just innocent puppy love and your daughter. But just watch out for anything weird of course...Kids these days are exposed to things we never were, so it's a bit of a worry if they see some illicit pornographic act on the internet (which is SO easy to access) and decide to 'try it out'. I shudder to think really.

[okaydorothy]

I have a 12 and 13 year old boy. The past year has been very interesting to us. Both female and male of this age think texting is the new dating and so the amount of "going out with" has increased. The girls seem to be the fresher ones and do not hesitate to ask the boys out. Both boys and girls do not meet, they do not talk on the phone, they do not even skype. All they do is text back and forth and they all think they are dating!!

But there is no way I would have approved of my boys at 10 asking a girl out. That is just way way too young. Good for your daughter at 8 to say no.

[ellar]

I would be a bit worried too. If they were in kindergarten, then it would be cute. However, by age ten, he should either know better, or he is getting into the "game" too early. I think many boys certainly have an interest in girls by age ten. Heck--when my older daughter was in 5th grade, two boys got in an actual fight over a girl. This is at a school with kids who tend to take things slower than kids at other schools. I have heard many reports of kids at other schools who are 11 or 12 or so who are really dating, meaning the kids actually do things alone together.

Regardless, it is good if you are giving your daughter the tools to handle it and if you are limiting her to group play. I would still keep my eye on it though.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by jasper12

...there are some great innocent ten year old boys and some major sex fiends at age ten.

Really? Ten year old major sex fiends?

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by Oleg Bach

Go to the older kids house- talk to the liberal bleach blonde mother and give her a smack for raising a potential idiot. Usually this type of behavior does not happen till the boys are 13 and 14 - for a ten year old- there is something trashy in the fact that he is appears to be sexualized..by either media or parents..

Asking a girl to go out with him is not proof of this boy being sexualized. He didn't ask for her to do anything sexual. He just asked for her to go out with him. At age 10 that means spending time together, usually with others present.

When my son was 11 he had a "girlfriend". He went to her house and they played Rock Band. She came here and they swam races in the pool. It was age appropriate and most definitely not sexual. Most parents I know realize that "going out" at that age doesn't mean going anywhere.

I understand the OPs concern. Her child is a bit young for that. Most kids are middle school age before the "going out" phase shows up. However, you need to understand that going out in middle school doesn't really mean anything other than being friends that spend time together. Don't jump to conclusions about sex. It has been my experience that the very first experiences that boys and girls have socializing together in middle school are not sexual, but rather an exercise in learning how to socialize with the opposite sex.

[gentlearts]

This is most likely nothing, but I would also be concerned. Just tell your daughter that, if he asks about this sort of thing again, she should just say she is not allowed to go out with anyone until she is older.
This way, she learns to set up boundaries with males. Something we all need to be comfortable doing.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by Lucidkitty

You are blowing it out of proportion. Unless the kid gets pushy then it's nothing to really concern yourself with. My little 9 year old sister has a boyfriend who is simply a boy she plays with.

Does she go "out" with him, so they can be alone?

[jasper12]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

Really? Ten year old major sex fiends?

Sad, but true. We don't know this family, or this child. Wary is better than not. Who knows...has he been abused? Has he been exposed to more adult things than peers his age? I don't want to be an alarmist, but, I think that if the Mom is already concerned, it is nothing to just brush off...Anyone can google the internet about 10 year olds, being charged with rape now...happens more often then we want to acknowledge.

[picklejuice]

You're in for a real nervous breakdown come the teen years, if such a small thing like that has you really concerned!