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I do not think your examples necessarily show closeness.
I agree. My niece has this sort of a relationship with her parents and they are not close. It's sad actually that partying is one of the few things that they can "bond" over.
Those examples don't show closeness between parents and children; it shows parents encouraging or at least turning a blind eye to illegal behaviors. I know a mother with two children (13 and 20) and she would certainly not be encouraging them to do something illegal. They show closeness by confiding any and all relationship issues, health issues, sex issues, etc.
The second example is grossly irresponsible on the part of the parent. Giving a child's friend alcohol? Bad idea.
The first and third examples show open relationships... maybe too open. I wouldn't be laughing over my 17-year-old being high the night before, and if s/he told me about it, we'd be having a serious talk. As for the 19-year-old, it's not something that I'd share with my parents at that age (or any age!), but I don't see it as necessarily a bad thing; the parents gave her decent advice and she ended up doing the right thing.
To be fair, this is in Canada where the drinking age is 19. I should have been clear in the beginning-- that changes a lot to the story! Sorry.
Also, for the 3rd example, what you mentioned is exactly why I put what the outcome of the situation is. It shocked me that she would call home about that (I would never even think about it! My parents were not naive to what I was and was not doing... but we certainly didn't chat it up on the regular!). But the fact that she took her parent's advice to heart and did the right thing makes me think that maybe it's not all that bad. Going to another idiot teenager probably wouldn't have resulted in the same decision.
I think on top of the initial shock of talking to your parents about one night stands, the smoking weed story was the biggest surprise. I'm only in my mid-20s and am not unaware of what happens in high school/ your teens... but my kid would get a serious talking to if they were smoking weed. That would not be tolerated, period. (God... I sound like my dad)
Sadly, I worked with lots of kids, in substance abuse treatment, who said that they used drugs with their parents. Where do you go, when in recovery, when yoor own parents are users? Can't hang out with dopers any longer if you want to go straight...so, that means alienating their family support, when they need it the most, but sadly, some parents are not "parents", they are just part of the party crowd. And, that is tragic for kids.
What is with some parents, who think "bonding" with their child is getting high together?
I agree. The problem there is not the closeness.
The problem there is that the parents are clearly acting like FRIENDS instead of parents.
The way I see it is that these parents have not set appropriate limits for their child's behavior. That has nothing to do with acting like your child's friend. There are times when it is appropriate to act like your child's friend.
The way I see it is that these parents have not set appropriate limits for their child's behavior. That has nothing to do with acting like your child's friend. There are times when it is appropriate to act like your child's friend.
My friends (the immature ones) would throw pong parties for me.
My PARENTS would try to set a better example of how to have a good time.
My friends (the immature ones) would throw pong parties for me.
My PARENTS would try to set a better example of how to have a good time.
But there are times when a parent should be a friend to a child and times when a parent shouldn't be a friend to a child. It isn't the "friend" part that is the problem, it's the lack of limit setting.
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