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Excellent point. I do think if mom and dad can't get on the same page as far as supervision and discipline, then she needs to be with the parent who is going to do the job. The question is how to get her there. Do they drag her kicking and screaming and hope that her resentment and hatred over that go away? I do believe that under the circumstances, and with a good lawyer, if the dad really wanted full custody he has a chance to get it. But he has to want it, and once he gets it, he AND his wife would have to be fully committed to this child. I would say the new wife's attitude would definitely need to change at that point, or she would have to decide if her marriage was worth all this trouble. Because it would definitely NOT be happily ever after at that point.
Yeah, I totally agree, but I don't think by the sounds of it full custody is an option. He has 50%, and he's got to do the best he can with that.
They've tried integrating her into the new home with the OP, that doesn't seem to work at all, not surprisingly. So it's come down to him not spending any time with her at all. I actually believe he wants to, and doesn't want to give up, but now he's caught between a rock and a hard place - with a new wife who wants peace and harmony, and a child who needs his undivided attention. And by attention I don't mean cave into her every desire, I mean clamp down and start steering her in the right direction.
The main focus I reckon should be getting his ex wife and himself on the same page. The OP is correct that it's a tough uphill battle if the mother keeps undoing the father's best attempts at reversal.
I have grave fears for the happily ever after - the kid's only going to get worse, and the dad's only going to get more guilty as things get more out of hand. It would be in the OP's best interest to support her husband fully in taking control of the daughter, even if it means she has to step back and give him up a couple of weeks out of the month.
You don't see namecalling? Wow. Venting over what is no doubt a frustrating situation is understandable. The OP does not present as a concerned adult in a troubled child's life but as a woman annoyed at the inconveniece of dealing with a situation she entered of her own volition.
She seems frustrated and at the end of her rope. No, I have not seen "name calling".
I didn't get the impression that she wants the child to fade away. It sounded to me like she was concerned that father and daughter weren't speaking, that daughter was not visiting, and wanted advice on what could be done to mend the relationship between father and daughter. That hardly sounds like a person who wants the child to fade away. Clearly, she is annoyed and frustrated with the kid's behavior, and happier without her around, but if she honestly didn't want to be bothered with her I don't see her coming here asking in help for getting the child to visit more or spend more time with her dad.
You've ignored a whole lot of other things in her posts and you know it.
I'm not "ignoring" anything. There's no sense in quoting every single thing she's said. I was responding to a specific thing so found the first quote that has me believing as I do. It's not a conspiracy. Now, if you'd like to find something that supports she is concerned for this child simply because she's a child who, for any number of reasons, has some serious issues, that need serious and immediate attention, then feel free. It's certainly possible I missed it.
The woman said, in the very first post, that she was trying to find a way for the husband to IMPROVE his relationship with his daughter, and she asked for advice. How did that morph into she wants the kid to go away? She SAID she didn't think it was right for him to not see his daughter even though the kid is a holy terror and she wanted to know if anyone could think of some way to get the ball rolling again.
All the "we're happy and want to stay that way" talk was in response to the idea that they move apart now that they are married.
It feels like she is being punished for daring to speak ill of a kid who is pretty difficult to like. Clearly, she wants the husband to KEEP TRYING with this child, that's why she is here.
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