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Old 10-05-2007, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Newton, NJ (but my heart is in Tennessee)
311 posts, read 1,261,111 times
Reputation: 264

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I would never in a million years hit my daughter with a belt or anything else. One of the reasons is that my wife knows first hand the effects this can have on a child's emotions. I got the usual swat on the behind but she was whipped with a belt for every infraction. Without going into a lot of personal details, I'll just say that the way she was treated by her parents caused emotional problems that lasted far longer than any physical pain.

With our own daughter, we believe that discipline is extremely important, but the method of discipline is also as important. It should be designed to instruct and guide them to adulthood. We are responsible for protecting our children both physically and emotionally. Our goal is for them to grow up to be mature, stable and independent adults. I shudder when I hear about children being whipped or beaten because I know how this can affect them.

Personally, I think I would have given the e-mail to the child protective services in my state and let them decide how to investigate. If there are no signs of actual abuse then fine, but if the kids had evidence of physical harm than that is a problem. People also don't think about the emotional effects. A drop off in school performance, inability to concentrate, anger and a rebeliious spirit are signs that something is not right.

 
Old 10-05-2007, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Eastern PA
1,263 posts, read 4,285,647 times
Reputation: 1154
The world would definitely be a better place if more people were as concerned as you are!

I am wondering if those parents follow a "Christian" parenting method such as the Pearls "To Train Up a Child" - which advocates whipping. Yet when I look up the definition of physical child abuse, "whipping" is included.

If I were you, I'd turn over that E-mail. I do not believe in striking/spanking children as a discipline method, much less asking a prospective caregiver to actually strike my child, wow.
 
Old 10-06-2007, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,193,238 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by shuke View Post
If you live in Massachusetts and work as a nanny and became privy to that info, I do believe that you would be legally required to report episode to DSS.
Spanking with an object is not in itself illegal in Massachusetts, so no, she would not. I suggest you look up the ruling in Massachusetts DSS v. Cobble.
 
Old 10-06-2007, 11:40 PM
 
18 posts, read 37,950 times
Reputation: 16
You May Not Have Any Thing To Report But I Would Call Dcfs And Ask Them To Check On The Children Based On Her Question..give Me Her Info. I'll Call
Betty In Il.
 
Old 10-07-2007, 01:01 AM
 
Location: NJ
329 posts, read 1,312,349 times
Reputation: 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_s View Post
I am wondering if those parents follow a "Christian" parenting method such as the Pearls "To Train Up a Child" - which advocates whipping. Yet when I look up the definition of physical child abuse, "whipping" is included.
Christian parenting MAY or may not include the "spare the rod, spoil the child" methodology. The permissive society we live in condemns it without really understanding it. That's why kids today are so out of control. I am a Christian that agrees with the philosophy if it is done tempered with love. However, I raised my 2 children without ever spanking or using corporal punushment because my mother took out all her anger on us and we got beatings for no reason. I just could never bring myself to raise a hand to my kids after being raised in that environment. I do think however it is up to a parent to discipline their children as they see fit, not the government. In situations where there is abuse of course we should report it, it is our moral obligation to do so. But, that shouldn't include phone calls just because parenting styles differ.
 
Old 10-07-2007, 11:16 AM
 
1,352 posts, read 4,158,471 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJTina View Post
Christian parenting MAY or may not include the "spare the rod, spoil the child" methodology. The permissive society we live in condemns it without really understanding it. That's why kids today are so out of control. I am a Christian that agrees with the philosophy if it is done tempered with love. However, I raised my 2 children without ever spanking or using corporal punushment because my mother took out all her anger on us and we got beatings for no reason. I just could never bring myself to raise a hand to my kids after being raised in that environment. I do think however it is up to a parent to discipline their children as they see fit, not the government. In situations where there is abuse of course we should report it, it is our moral obligation to do so. But, that shouldn't include phone calls just because parenting styles differ.
You are correct, it is up to the individual parent on how he/she chooses to discipline their child. Whippings/Spankings should not be confused with Beatings and child abuse - 2 totally different things. In addition, I received spankings when I was a child (very few) and it didn't affect my self asteem or self-worth. I do agree that many children today are OUT OF CONTROL, I see soooooo many of them day after day and I firmly believe that it is because of outside involvement/threats of child abuse charges.

My best friend who lives in NY was a single parent of a son who was a great child up until those teenage years. When he turned 16 he started smelling himself and tried to hang out late night. After numerous reprimands/punishments, etc. He went out and tried to come in the house at 2am. She had put the deadbolt lock on, to which he did not have a key. When she got up to open it, he proceeded to come in the house screaming and shouting about why did she lock the door, yadi yadi yadi. Then went on to shout profanities at her, at which point she grabbed a belt and swatted him, he had the NERVE to raise his hand like he was going to hit her at which point she told him, "Dont you ever raise your hand at me, I brought you into this world and I will take you out". He then got on the phone, called the police and told them that she had hit him. They arrived, she told them, "this is my son and I will disclipine him when and as I see fit, and I will not tolerate disrespect." The police officer told her that she was crazy, locked her up and ordered her to therapy and forwarded the son to children/family services (WTF). With the help of some friends (higher up), she was able to get her son back and the charges were dropped. She emphasized to the son that she would not tolerate disrespect and that she would do the same thing again, if necessary. I'm happy to report that the son graduated, received a full scholarship to college in Florida and is doing well. He also is very sorry for what took place and never disrespected his Mother again, but the bottom line is she never waivered in disclipining her child and because she stood firm, it opened his eyes and allowed him to be a better person. Had she not put her foot down, who knows, he probably would have ended up running all over here, like most of these children do now-in-days.
 
Old 10-07-2007, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Burlington VT
1,405 posts, read 4,306,386 times
Reputation: 539
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp1018 View Post
I am a nanny looking for work so I posted an ad. This one lady asked me if I would mind beating her kids with a switch if they got out of hand and that she would give me written permission. That is so wrong I wrote her back saying that no matter what the job or the pay I would never do that a child no less to kids that aren't even mine. I also, asked her what would make her ask someone she hadn't even met to do that? Is she crazy? You don't ask other people to beat your kids. I'm a mother of three and I would never ask somebody that. Just letting off some steam about this. Can't help but feel bad for her kids
Good for you!

There are two possible reasons I wouldn't work for this prospective employer...
 
Old 10-07-2007, 03:34 PM
 
1,352 posts, read 4,158,471 times
Reputation: 570
I guess this would warrant a "time out" or "quiet time" for all those against spankings

Video - Breaking News Videos from CNN.com
 
Old 10-07-2007, 04:47 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 14,986,181 times
Reputation: 8014
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_s View Post
The world would definitely be a better place if more people were as concerned as you are!

I am wondering if those parents follow a "Christian" parenting method such as the Pearls "To Train Up a Child" - which advocates whipping. Yet when I look up the definition of physical child abuse, "whipping" is included.

If I were you, I'd turn over that E-mail. I do not believe in striking/spanking children as a discipline method, much less asking a prospective caregiver to actually strike my child, wow.
Just a note: not all Christians believe in whipping or even spanking.
Gentle Christian Mothers - Christian Attachment Parenting
 
Old 10-07-2007, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Eastern PA
1,263 posts, read 4,285,647 times
Reputation: 1154
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Just a note: not all Christians believe in whipping or even spanking.
Gentle Christian Mothers - Christian Attachment Parenting
I am fully aware of that, as I am a Christian mom who practices gentle discipline. I put the "Christian" in quotes because people like the Pearls and Ezzo are not very fitting of my personal definition of a Christian. Sorry if there was any misunderstanding. I'm more used to discussions of discipline at places like Mothering.com
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