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Old 08-07-2012, 05:21 PM
 
24,503 posts, read 35,425,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Odd. Is she mentally disabled? Still, no excuse...
That's such crap. Sorry, but being mentally disabled/ill is one of the very few valid excuses for socially awkward behavior. You can't hold a mentally disabled individual to the same level of performance as a mentally able person. The fact that you think so is absurd and cruel
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:22 PM
 
24,503 posts, read 35,425,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
The aunt ignored it altogether. The girl's parents very subtly winced. I think it was handled correctly.
^This.
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:52 PM
 
10,495 posts, read 8,425,023 times
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It sounds like considerably more than a child being "silly" to me - a typical twelve year old girl is well on her way to adolescence, and should certainly have appropriate manners/boundaries well in place. In fact, many twelve year old girls are quite self-conscious and shy about physical development, sexuality and sexual orientation and related matters, and are highly unlikely to behave so flagrantly when with adult family members in a semi-formal setting like a family dinner party.

So - what led to this blatant behavior?? Is the girl desperate for attention? Does she dislike the aunt? What was being discussed just before this happened? Was the girl included in dinner table conversation? Do the girl's parents have clear communication with their daughter? How well informed is she about sexual development? How are her manners in general? Does she watch a lot of television? Is she online a lot, unsupervised? How does she get along with other kids her age? Do her parents know her friends and the friends' parents?

On the other hand - is this a cry for help? Could the aunt be abusing the girl - perhaps grooming her? The general lack of reaction to the girl's behavior reminds me of the proverbial elephant in the room. I hope the girl's parents had a serious talk with her after the dinner party was over. Yes, kids can do stupid, thoughtless, rude things at this age - but this crosses a LOT of boundaries and should be addressed accordingly - for the young girl's sake.
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Old 08-07-2012, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Palm Beach Gardens, Fla
1,888 posts, read 7,146,720 times
Reputation: 1527
At 12 years old? That's inappropriate. I remember being 12 and I certainly didn't have a desire to grab people's breasts. Not that I'm using myself as the standard. But beside that, what was the child's facial expression? We know how everyone else reacted but I'm wondering what could you tell from her expression? Did she look at the aunt while she did it (as if to gauge her aunt's reaction)? Did she focus on her breasts (as if out of curiousity)? Did she look around at others (to show off or gain attention)? I'm sure you weren't that focused to remember all the details but it would be interesting to know what her own reaction was.
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Old 08-07-2012, 06:23 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,604,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
It sounds like considerably more than a child being "silly" to me - a typical twelve year old girl is well on her way to adolescence, and should certainly have appropriate manners/boundaries well in place. In fact, many twelve year old girls are quite self-conscious and shy about physical development, sexuality and sexual orientation and related matters, and are highly unlikely to behave so flagrantly when with adult family members in a semi-formal setting like a family dinner party.

So - what led to this blatant behavior?? Is the girl desperate for attention? Does she dislike the aunt? What was being discussed just before this happened? Was the girl included in dinner table conversation? Do the girl's parents have clear communication with their daughter? How well informed is she about sexual development? How are her manners in general? Does she watch a lot of television? Is she online a lot, unsupervised? How does she get along with other kids her age? Do her parents know her friends and the friends' parents?

On the other hand - is this a cry for help? Could the aunt be abusing the girl - perhaps grooming her? The general lack of reaction to the girl's behavior reminds me of the proverbial elephant in the room. I hope the girl's parents had a serious talk with her after the dinner party was over. Yes, kids can do stupid, thoughtless, rude things at this age - but this crosses a LOT of boundaries and should be addressed accordingly - for the young girl's sake.
I know all the parties involved. The aunt is great and I think was slightly embarrassed, but kept a "poker face" through this event. The parents could be problematic. Their Dad is into his work and, when he comes home, zones in on his hobbies and "checks out." Their Mother is a cold fish. I also perceive that her younger sister is the favored of their two children. Does this help some?
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Old 08-07-2012, 07:27 PM
 
10,495 posts, read 8,425,023 times
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Thanks for the extra info. It sounds like a play for attention - an extreme play, verging on desperation. Perhaps the aunt might do well to have that chat with her niece, since both parents sound as if they've emotionally isolated themselves from their children.

Sad...
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Old 08-08-2012, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,585 posts, read 24,997,443 times
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I certainly hope when the parents got the 12 year old at home, they said, do not ever do that again, you don't touch people like that.
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Old 08-09-2012, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,602,834 times
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It should've been addressed, and perhaps it was privately.
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:27 AM
 
13,161 posts, read 20,780,088 times
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The girl should be been told to apologize to her aunt, right then and there.
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Old 08-09-2012, 01:21 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,604,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
The girl should be been told to apologize to her aunt, right then and there.
I disagree. That would have humiliated the girl at the table, and the consequences would have been worse. I think that the parents should have said something to her AFTERWARD, and not put her through a guilt trip. However, her Dad is so "checked out" (his parents were hellish) and her Mom is such a cold fish, that I doubt anything was said.
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