Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She sounds like an orthodox mother...To separate her from the kids ( who are young) would be like taking momma cat away from the kittens. Just wondering- Where is Dad? That would balance things out.
She doesn't sound all that orthodox watching adult content movies -- I assume these are movies with a lot of graphic sex and nudity, and also drinking with them.
Someone being a mother to young kids 24-7 isn't a problem but someone trying to have young kids be their best partying buddy 24-7 has a problem.
Apparently mom doesn't work -- I wonder who pays the bills.
She doesn't sound all that orthodox watching adult content movies -- I assume these are movies with a lot of graphic sex and nudity, and also drinking with them.
Someone being a mother to young kids 24-7 isn't a problem but someone trying to have young kids be their best partying buddy 24-7 has a problem.
Apparently mom doesn't work -- I wonder who pays the bills.
Why would you assume that? The op said R rated movies, not porn. I also thought that the op clarified that the children were allowed sips of alcohol which could mean that she lets them have a sip of her glass of wine when she has a glass. It could mean more. Without clarification from the op though, we'll never know. I'm giving the mother the benefit of the doubt.
My sister is the kind of parent who likes to have her children with her 24/7. She barely lets them out of her sight, does not allow them to be left with anyone, says that she "loves" how co-dependent she is with her kids, etc. Now, this could be considered a good thing. Oh she's being a responsible parent, right? But I actually think there is some bad parenting going on here. Because she never separates herself from them, these kids are constantly being exposed to adult movies, adult conversations, adult activities, etc. These kids are ages 4 and 7 and she treats them like adults. They watch Rated R movies because of course that's what the adults are doing. They drink wine, because that's what the adults do. They drink coffee "to wake up" every morning, because that's what the adults do.
Consequently, whenever I want to spend time with my sister, she always has the kids with her and we can never have adult time, i.e., so the kids are not part of the conversation, activity, etc. This is extremely frustrating, and I don't know how to ask her to "get rid of the kids" so we can actually spend some adult time together. Let me give you examples of what I am talking about:
These kids wake up when the parents wake up (in summer, 10??) and go to bed when the parents go to bed (1am??), so if they come visit, there is never an opportunity time for "adult time."
If I invite her to go to lunch or dinner, she always has the kids, and she says it doesn't matter what we talk about adult stuff because "she doesn't treat her kids like babies." She is proud of the fact that her kids are age 4 going on 18!!!!!!
It's like there is no separation between these kids and her adult life. The way I raised my kids, there is time for kid time, and there is time for adult time. And never the two shall meet. I put my kids to bed at 8 pm and had adult time every night, etc.
By the way, let me say right now that I love kids and that I love my sister's kids. But NO, I DO NOT want to spend every second of the time I spend with my sister, with them!!!!! How do I tell her this without her getting pissy, as I KNOW she will?
You don't tell her at all and choose to either accept the fact that you will always have the children along when your sister visits or you just won't visit.
The giving them alcohol part though is NOT a good thing and actually against the law. When the children mention that part of their lives at school it is going to cause your sister plenty of issues.
Yeah...R has a variety of meanings, eh?
Die Hard
Robocop
Aliens
Mad Max
Terminator
Predator
Rambo
Lethal Weapon
Conan
Beverly Hills Cop
Coming to America
All movies I saw and enjoyed as a kid.
What does it matter that you saw those movies as a kid? I don't really understand the relevance. I could make a list of CURRENT R movies a lot worse than those. Those movies are nearly 30 years old.
I'm going to assume that because the OP is mentioning it as some kind of issue, that when she says r rated she's not talking about Coming To America. If she is, then who cares? She's just exaggerating for effect. Which is what I suspect, regarding the wine and the coffee and the soft core porn or whatever else these kids have supposedly been exposed to.
Regardless, do you really think Aliens and Lethal Weapon and Die Hard are cool for a four year old?
For some, I'm sure those movies are fine. Very subjective thing.
How is it subjective? I'm honestly asking, not trying to be snarky. Violence and suspense aren't really subjective, it's either a violent and suspenseful movie or it isn't. They're made that way on purpose, using millions of dollars and every psychological trick in the book to make you uneasy and frightened when you watch them.
How is it subjective that Aliens is a scary movie, when you're four? What life experience would a four year old have to reference in order to suspend belief enough to not be affected? That might work if you're a very jaded older person who can see through it, but most adults can't, let alone little kids.
I really can't imagine a four year old unless they've grown up in a war zone or who are already immune to violence in some way, that wouldn't be disturbed watching Mad Max or an Alien.
And seeing this is 2012 not 1987, the caliber of effects etc is way above what it was then - the modern equivalent is worse than what could now be described as a quaint-in-comparison - what we saw as teens - violent/scary R rated movies.
Would you let your 4 year old watch Saw? Or The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo? Or even Black Swan?
Man, I was 15 when I saw The Shining, I still get the heebeejeebees thinking about that kid riding down the halls on that bike thing.
And damn, I was 40 something when I saw Requiem For A Dream. That's one of my all time favorite movies, but I'll never get some of the images out of my head. Very very disturbing. As they're meant to be.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
