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Nobody is punishing the child for the mother's lies. It's just assuring that the mother is responsible for the situation, not the alleged father. If the mother lies, she either has to find the real father or take all responsibility for the child. That is the only fair resolution.
Taking away all contact with the person a child believed was their father and their financial support IS punishing the child.
Taking away all contact with the person a child believed was their father and their financial support IS punishing the child.
Then the mother has no business lying about it. I'm here to tell you, if I were ever stuck in that situation - and I would not be, because, well, I would not ever be stuck in that situation - I would not be paying child support for someone I didn't bring here.
Then the mother has no business lying about it. I'm here to tell you, if I were ever stuck in that situation - and I would not be, because, well, I would not ever be stuck in that situation - I would not be paying child support for someone I didn't bring here.
But as I said, I would not be in that situation.
You're right BUT the child shouldn't be made to suffer for that. Parenting is about more than biology. Once you've established yourself as a child's parent, you're their parent even if it's proven you're not the bio parent later.
If I found out today that the hospital made a mistake and sent me home with the wrong baby 14 years ago, I would still have an obligation to the daughter I have raised. It isn't that piece of DNA that makes me her mom.
You're wrong there. The law does care about DNA, especially when it can find via DNA testing that a man is the father. In cases where a father had no idea that he had a child, the law still holds him responsible, retroactively, for the financial support of a child he never knew existed.
What the law does not care about is the rights of men who are lied to by women, either those who do not tell a man until much later that he has fathered a child OR those who tell a man that he is the father of a child who is actually not his.
That's the point - the man who is hoodwinked and bamboozled via paternity fraud has never been established as the child's parent. And that is not fair to him.
No. Once you're established as the child's parent, the law doesn't care about DNA. You can and will be held, financially, responsible for the child. There are men who are paying child support for children they did not sire because they established themselves as the child's father before the DNA test was taken. If you play the role of parent for a period of time, you have established yourself as the child's parent. Do you think my responsibilty to my daughter should end if I found out today that the hospital sent me home with the wrong baby?
The law does honor a DNA test taken at the time of birth or when the man is informed he may be the father. What they won't let you do is play daddy for years and then try to use DNA to back out later.
I've never heard of a case where child support was retroactive to a time before the father knew the child existed. Could you post links please?
Then the mother has no business lying about it. I'm here to tell you, if I were ever stuck in that situation - and I would not be, because, well, I would not ever be stuck in that situation - I would not be paying child support for someone I didn't bring here.
But as I said, I would not be in that situation.
I would hope that an adult who had a fatherly relationship with a child would care enough about that child to not let their mother's actions besmirch the relationship. Unfortunately, as evidenced on this thread, many men would do just that which is why such laws exist in the first place.
I would hope that an adult who had a fatherly relationship with a child would care enough about that child to not let their mother's actions besmirch the relationship. Unfortunately, as evidenced on this thread, many men would do just that which is why such laws exist in the first place.
I really don't get how finding out a child is not genetically yours would change how you feel about that child.
I would hope that an adult who had a fatherly relationship with a child would care enough about that child to not let their mother's actions besmirch the relationship. Unfortunately, as evidenced on this thread, many men would do just that which is why such laws exist in the first place.
Y'all kill me. We all agree that it is the woman in this situation who is the villain, but you still bash men as the villain. This is why I always advise men to never, ever have children unless you are married and unless you are absolutely sure you want to be a father.
Y'all kill me. We all agree that it is the woman in this situation who is the villain, but you still bash men as the villain. This is why I always advise men to never, ever have children unless you are married and unless you are absolutely sure you want to be a father.
Oy vey re: villainy. In general, I think it's wise for people regardless of gender to be pretty darn sure that they want a child with the person they are sleeping with, or know what their plan is in the event of a surprise or accident. Part of being a responsible adult and all.
No. Once you're established as the child's parent, the law doesn't care about DNA. You can and will be held, financially, responsible for the child. There are men who are paying child support for children they did not sire because they established themselves as the child's father before the DNA test was taken. If you play the role of parent for a period of time, you have established yourself as the child's parent. Do you think my responsibilty to my daughter should end if I found out today that the hospital sent me home with the wrong baby?
Apples and oranges. You gave birth to a daughter. You KNOW you are a parent. And you would have legal relief if it were established that the hospital screwed up at birth. AND you would have relief because you would have the right to get your child back. The man does not know if he is a parent or not.
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The law does honor a DNA test taken at the time of birth or when the man is informed he may be the father. What they won't let you do is play daddy for years and then try to use DNA to back out later.
Nobody is "playing daddy." They are doing what they are supposed to do as a father. Problem is, they were fulfilling the role as the father under the pretension, later proved to be wrong, that they were the father, and they were doing so because of the deception of the mother. The man is the honorable party in this case, and the woman is the dishonorable party in this case. Do not twist the situation here.
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I've never heard of a case where child support was retroactive to a time before the father knew the child existed. Could you post links please?
Oy vey re: villainy. In general, I think it's wise for people regardless of gender to be pretty darn sure that they want a child with the person they are sleeping with, or know what their plan is in the event of a surprise or accident. Part of being a responsible adult and all.
Well, yeah. But that doesn't change how men are being painted here as the ones who are the problem - something too often seen when discussing divorce, support and men's parental rights.
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I really don't get how finding out a child is not genetically yours would change how you feel about that child.
In general, I think it's wise for people regardless of gender to be pretty darn sure that they want a child with the person they are sleeping with, or know what their plan is in the event of a surprise or accident. Part of being a responsible adult and all.
