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I was kind of shocked the other day when a friend said they " made their daughter give up her horseback lessons for the Summer, because they are the hardest months financiially for them".
Then, 5 min. Later, they were talking about all he things they had done during the summer, which included a 5 day vacation to Chicago? ( sans kids).
She is a teacher , so she doesn't get paid for the Summer, so they lack her income during the Summer, I understand watching the finances, of course.
To make your child give up something they enjoy for their own benefit though, just seems a bit selfish to me.
We have never taken a vacation ( not even a wknd away) w/out our children and I certainly would never ask my children to give up something they enjoy, so that I could do something I wanted.....
Meh.
I don't see the big deal. Life isn't all about the kids either. I think being selfish sometimes gets a bad rap. I'm sorry but I just don't see what is wrong about funneling funds from one unnecessary activity to another within one family.
DH and I do take overnight trips here and there without the kids. Again, I'm not sure what is wrong with that either.
I think it is a matter of priorities. In some families the children are the most important members of the family and their wants are prioritized over the adult members of the family. In other families all family members are considered important and plans are made for all family members to have some things they want.
I personally prefer a model where everyone gets some of the things that they want even though it might mean the children don't get everything they want. I do not think it is healthy for anyone to live in a family where some family members are permitted to take up all of the family financial resources. Other people may prefer that model.
wait.... what?? Parents are never allowed to take a vacation so the kids can have anything they want? Since the person is a teacher, obviously the summer is the only time she can get away. Horseback riding lessons are very expensive, and not a requirement of parenting. My daughters would love to do that, but it is just not a financial commitment we are prepared to make. Should I feel guilty every time I go out to eat with my husband or buy myself a new outfit? That is just silly. If she was traveling every month without her kids to exotic locations, I could see your point... but she's not.
Are you sure it was a 5 day vacation, or was it a work trip for husband? I used to go on "fancy vacations" all the time, to DC, NYC, Seattle, Orlando, San Juan, all work trips for my husband.
Don't make value judgements on how others spend money, maybe there were other issues as well, and maybe their daughter was getting a bit too entitled about things, and needed to be taken down a peg. My kids think money grows on trees, and I have an endless supply. My daughter wanted designer jeans for school, and new ski equipment, it was like, not gonna happen! I made her choose, she decided to buy cheaper clothes for back to school.
No, it wasn't a business trip, he works on the line for a company, doesn't require travel for his job, that I do know.
I did say in a further post that, correct, I do not know all of their family circumstances , it was just a poor timing of words, I guess...
I don't see anything wrong with parents taking a break/vacay w/out the kids, WE just have never done it, partly because we do choose to allow our kids to participate in what they want ( which reallynis minimal to be honest) but also because we admit, we don't make it a priority and the fact that we don't live near family and have no one to care for them makes it an easier decision, but no, I did not say there was anything wrong with it.
We just would not do it. Not right.Not wrong.
Right, I don't know how they paid for the trip and it is none of my business.
I guess it was poor timing of words when within a 10 min. Conversation she said her daughter isn't taking horseback lessons because money is tight and the next sentence was about her & her husband going away for 5 days.
I have no arguement with parents taking the time to be w/out the kids, I am sure it is good for the marriage/family, we don't have family nearby to ask to watch our children, & we would just feel as though it would be an iconvenience to ask some of our famiy to come here se we could go away....
There may be other factors also. Maybe the girl is very busy with all kind of activities and so they ended just one. I really don't understand why people don't want to vacation with their kids but maybe she didn't want to go to Chicago? If they left her home alone because they couldn't afford to bring her along, plus couldn't afford to give her lessons, then it doesn't look too good. It doesn't sound like the greatest family.
There may be other factors also. Maybe the girl is very busy with all kind of activities and so they ended just one. I really don't understand why people don't want to vacation with their kids but maybe she didn't want to go to Chicago? If they left her home alone because they couldn't afford to bring her along, plus couldn't afford to give her lessons, then it doesn't look too good. It doesn't sound like the greatest family.
Because I like traveling with my husband without our children. I like being alone with him and being able to visit museums, restaurants and other attractions where it isn't appropriate to bring children.
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