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Hmmmm....we didn't "vacation" per se...there were a couple of out of town events we attended (literally a handful over the course of 18 years) - weddings of friends or a sporting event...We moved away from family when the kids were very young so that wasn't an easy option for us. Our budget didn't allow for what most people would consider "vacations" in any event. We mostly spent our vacations visiting family - so that just because we didn't live near family, our children weren't missing out on knowing family and being part of more than just our nuclear family. But, had our budget allowed and had we had the benefit of family close by - who knows? I might be answering in a totally different way. Each family does what they feel is best. No skin off my back one way or the other.
Last edited by maciesmom; 08-24-2012 at 07:10 PM..
We have done both. We really like to travel with our kids. It is so interesting to see things through a child's eyes. However, we also like to travel without them. Our oldest child is 18 and we have been away without them for three weeks over the past 18 years. We have also taken a few shorter trips over the years. We usually go away for at least one family vacation every year. Some years we have managed two. We also take some shorter trips with the kids.
We travel with the kids, for the most part. DH and I haven't been away overnight together (I mean, the kids have slept over at friends' houses or at their grandparents' house, so we've been alone together overnight, but haven't actually gone anywhere) without them. I have gone away for a weekend with a friend, though, and so has DH... and twice, DH and DS have gone away for a weekend while DD and I did something else. I see nothing at all wrong with going away on vacation without the kids, it just hasn't been something feasible for us, because we live 1500 miles away from family. (We spent two years in Connecticut where our families are, and they were able to have grandma and grandpa sleepovers, but they were still young enough that we didn't really feel comfortable leaving them for more than a night or two at a time.) Now that they're 11 and 9, we could definitely do it if we wanted, but truth be told, we have so many vacation destinations that we want to do *with* the kids, that we might as well wait until they don't want to join us anymore, which will be coming up in probably 7 or 8 years anyway.
When we both worked and had more discretionary income, yes, we did 3 or 4 day getaways, just us, usually within driving distance, twice flying. Those vacations were while we had one toddler. Now we have two kids and half the income (one job), and no family or support living near us, so the only adult-only vacations we'd consider would be to celebrate a major anniversary when both kids are a little older and the grandparents can fly in and come stay with the kiddos... but that woud require major financial planning and seems unrealistic currently.
Priorities are different now and we would be thrilled spending time together on a family vacation; we love traveling with our kids and wish we could do it more. But if money were not a concern, we would definitely do both. In my book, a happy husband and wife equals a happy family.
We have done 2 long trips away from the kids (14 days and 7 days), and a few short ones, and we have both done long trips away from the family on our own (for a variety of reasons). The bottom line is people must do what works for them.
I personally think this:
Parents need a break, so every vacation they go on shouldn't include the kids. Besides, give them a break from all that nagging.
Yet, I do think for the majority of trips, you should include your child.
We do not routinely vacation without the kids. In 9 years as parents, we've gone away for 2-3 days 3 times, and once for 5 days, which was a work trip for my husband that I tagged along on. We've never done an exotic week-long vacation without them. We've never done one of those with them either All have been road trips when grand parents happened to be nearby.
I don't vacation w/o kids b/c we live in a different state than my parents and inlaws and there's no one I would feel comfortable asking to watch my 3 kids overnight. If my parents lived closer, I would probably try to get away for a night or two once a year to boost my marriage, but I couldn't see taking a weeklong vacation without them. Not that there's anything wrong with that if you have the funds and a loving caregiver, it's just not something I would do at this point.
Never. To me vacation means spending time with the kids, doing things as a family. Camping, hiking, visiting family, going to national parks, forests, Six Flags -- it wouldn't be the same without them.
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