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I will say this to all non-parents who post in this forum, because I was once like you.
It makes sense to have a general idea of how you will act and what you will do as a parent, but really it's the same thing as saying, "If I were blind, I would never do that."
Until you are in that situation, you really have no idea how you will handle it.
Having a child changes everything. Also, with another actual person in the dynamic (the child), you have much less control over situations than you think you will.
It is perfectly reasonable for a parent to be present for their young child's physical exam, and it's reasonable for a teen to ask his mom to leave during the "hernia" test. The mom probably learned something about listening to her kid that day, but that's the funniest part about parenting. You are growing up the whole time, too.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 08-25-2012 at 10:25 PM..
I will say this to all non-parents who post in this forum, because I was once like you.
It makes sense to have a general idea of how you will act and what you will do as a parent, but really it's the same thing as saying, "If I were blind, I would never do that."
Until you are in that situation, you really have no idea how you will handle it.
Having a child changes everything. Also, with another actual person in the dynamic (the child), you have much less control over situations than you think you will.
It is perfectly reasonable for a parent to be present for their child's physical exam. I'm betting you will change your mind once your "baby" goes behind closed doors.
I understand what you mean. This thread was really for parents with teenagers, what would you do if your teenager didn't want you there.
I was a teen once, I would have been very embarrassed if my mom watched me naked.
I understand what you mean. This thread was really for parents with teenagers, what would you do if your teenager didn't want you there.
I was a teen once, I would have been very embarrassed if my mom watched me naked.
You know they aren't naked, right? Mine wear boxers during the exam, and the doc is very discreet during the "sensitive" part.
I don't think the teen's embarrassment as such is a good justification for keeping a parent out of an exam room if there is something the parent is contributing to the whole situation. People get embarrassed by all sorts of things every day, and life goes on. But I think the rule evolved more because some parents probably tend to be more disruptive than helpful to the purpose--why are you doing this? why are you doing that? etc., I can only imagine what some of them are like.
Flip it around...would you like your in with you while having a pap smear? After all, you are covered with a paper. He can just read a magazine or play with his ipod.
I don't think the teen's embarrassment as such is a good justification for keeping a parent out of an exam room if there is something the parent is contributing to the whole situation. People get embarrassed by all sorts of things every day, and life goes on. But I think the rule evolved more because some parents probably tend to be more disruptive than helpful to the purpose--why are you doing this? why are you doing that? etc., I can only imagine what some of them are like.
It's just awkward. I think they deserve some privacy, or as someone else said, have them stand behind a wall or something.
It's just awkward. I think they deserve some privacy, or as someone else said, have them stand behind a wall or something.
Americans are positively neurotic about privacy as it is--there's no need to encourage more of it in functional situations like medical check-ups. Unless we are trying to make ourselves more like Saudi Arabia or something, in which case this makes perfect sense.
I don't think the teen's embarrassment as such is a good justification for keeping a parent out of an exam room if there is something the parent is contributing to the whole situation. People get embarrassed by all sorts of things every day, and life goes on. But I think the rule evolved more because some parents probably tend to be more disruptive than helpful to the purpose--why are you doing this? why are you doing that? etc., I can only imagine what some of them are like.
It's also because teens may have questions that they aren't comfortable asking in front of their parent. It could be something about sex, about drugs, or just about their own bodies. So if the parent insists on staying, those questions just don't get asked and that's not a good thing.
I stopped letting my mom go back with me at the doctor around 13 or 14. I would back first and have the exam, then she would be invited back at the end to ask any questions she might have.
Oddly, now I attend all of her doctor's appointments.
It's also because teens may have questions that they aren't comfortable asking in front of their parent. It could be something about sex, about drugs, or just about their own bodies. So if the parent insists on staying, those questions just don't get asked and that's not a good thing.
That's a good point, and a good reason for providing at least some space between the two for part of the time.
I think a same sex parent should be in the same office as where they do the examination. You can close the curtain and parent can stay on other side of curtain. This will prevent doctors from sexually abusing children. I know of this happening where the same sex parent didn't go in with her daughter and the daughter was being sexually abused and neither the daughter knew or the mother. Mother found out years later and so did the daughter when daughter got older and finally went to a real ob/gyn and saw how proper exams are done. Just my thought.
So the father should go along to the appointment for his son? At my office, we do see a lot of dads, but it's still at least 75% moms, if not more. Even if both parents work, mom is the one who has to take off work to go along to the appt.
Anything CAN happen, but I think abuse is very rare.
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At my office, some parents stay in the waiting room when their teens have an appt.; most go back with their kid. The dr. does ask them to leave at some point during the exam. This is when the dr. asks about alcohol, tobacco, relationships with the opposite sex including sexual activity, etc. The drs talk to the guys about testicular exams, and to the girls about breast exams. I suppose a parent could refuse to leave.
A parent has to sign for immunizations until the kid is 18.
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