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Very thought provoking piece, and something we see every day here on the forum. The point is not whether or not one finds this picture questionable, but how parents (and usually moms) respond to the choices other parents make.
Quote:
Not long ago, I wrote a piece for Babble Voices...not long after my article was published on the internet for anyone to read, it also was featured on the Babble Facebook page. But then a funny thing happened. Or, maybe "funny" isn't the right word. Let's say a strange thing happened instead. People began to leave comments beneath the Facebook posting calling into question the photo that went along with the article, a photo that I had picked myself, of my daughter and I sitting in our porch swing one evening, watching the sun go down. In the picture I am holding a can of beer. And my daughter is wearing just her diaper. What the heck were these people so upset about? Did they not read my article? I wondered aloud, shouting at my computer screen. I'm HER DAD! We were on the porch right before her bed time!
I mean, who are we now, collectively? Who are we, we parents on the internet, and what are our goals?
What are we aiming to do when we sign on and sign in? And what should we be aiming to do?
Every day, anywhere you go in the vast wilds of cyberspace, you can find people who get their kicks out of knocking other people down. I know that and you know that, but that isn't what I'm getting at here. My question is more streamlined. Because, what I'm wondering is, is it helpful to point out everything? As parents, are we helping each other when we say to our fellow parents,"You are doing it wrong!"..."You should know better!"..."There is danger in everything!" Or, is it simply a way to make ourselves feel better about ourselves, to allow our voices to reign supreme, if only for a second or so, if only until the next comment appears?
I am strictly a forum participant. Yes I judge. But my goal in judging is to weigh and evaluate thoughts for ME. Otherwise, I attribute the turn around of my marriage from miserable to wonderful to some patient people back in the day of usenet who kept trying to get the error of my thinking through to me. When calm voiced reasonable man and dope slapping tough love chicky both were telling me the same thing, as muchy as I did not want to hear it, I finally let it sink in. Hey, the problem was with ME! At first that was tough to take. But then I realized, if the problem was me, then I could be part of the solution as well. That was an empowering thought.
I don't hang much on the relationship board because it is largely a bunch of peopel trying to assertain why they can't get dates. Not a lot of interest there. But parenting is a really interestign topic for me, and my own views have been radically altered by reading, attending workshops and classes and discussing.
So I guess aside from entertaining myself, I am looking for more nuggets of truth that I am yet blind to or offering a nugget of truth to anyone else who might want it.
So ironic that he is wearing a T-shirt that reads, "DON'T HATE" in the photo that spurred so much hate.
You know, the internet is like a graveyard of earnest bloggers who just wanted to put something out there they thought was funny, mind-blowing, or helpful, but inadvertently opened themselves up to shame and ridicule by doing so.
When you write, you do it for an audience. You know that someone, somewhere, will read your piece.
The thing about that is that you never ever know how they will react. Many reactions will be predictable, but as this guy's venture proves, more will not. If you want the freedom to put something online, you have to accept that others have the freedom to react to your stuff however they wish.
People are big ol' bosses when they hide behind they keyboard, typing things they would never say to someone's face.
We may not like it, but it's how it works.
You can control what you post and how you react to others' posts, but you will never, ever control what others post in return.
So ironic that he is wearing a T-shirt that reads, "DON'T HATE" in the photo that spurred so much hate.
You know, the internet is like a graveyard of earnest bloggers who just wanted to put something out there they thought was funny, mind-blowing, or helpful, but inadvertently opened themselves up to shame and ridicule by doing so.
When you write, you do it for an audience. You know that someone, somewhere, will read your piece.
The thing about that is that you never ever know how they will react. Many reactions will be predictable, but as this guy's venture proves, more will not. If you want the freedom to put something online, you have to accept that others have the freedom to react to your stuff however they wish.
People are big ol' bosses when they hide behind they keyboard, typing things they would never say to someone's face.
We may not like it, but it's how it works.
You can control what you post and how you react to others' posts, but you will never, ever control what others post in return.
Exactly. I have several cute little bare bottom pictures of my dd when she was a baby that I think are absolutely adorable, and perfectly innocent. However, I know enough to know if I post them on the world wide web for whoever in the world wants to see and comment, there are going to be some nasty, mean, hateful things said. I have never understood people who put their life on the internet, then are dumbfounded that people react negatively to it. These aren't people who know you or care about you or your family or your feelings. These are anonymous strangers behind a keyboard, able to display courage that they never would face to face, and looking for ways to exert it. If people don't want negative, nasty reactions to their posts or pictures, then don't put it out there for the world to see. Simple as that.
Typical mentality of chickens and hens. "Pedophile bate" cmon... so stupid.
However, you know me, I would never post a pic like that publicly on the web, only because I'm so uptight about privacy on the web and how nobody seems to realize how important it is.
Exactly. I have several cute little bare bottom pictures of my dd when she was a baby that I think are absolutely adorable, and perfectly innocent. However, I know enough to know if I post them on the world wide web for whoever in the world wants to see and comment, there are going to be some nasty, mean, hateful things said. I have never understood people who put their life on the internet, then are dumbfounded that people react negatively to it. These aren't people who know you or care about you or your family or your feelings. These are anonymous strangers behind a keyboard, able to display courage that they never would face to face, and looking for ways to exert it. If people don't want negative, nasty reactions to their posts or pictures, then don't put it out there for the world to see. Simple as that.
While I totally agree with what you wrote, I also think this picture is not of the bare bottom variety. Nasty people will always say nasty things, regardless of what one is wearing or not.
Personally, I think it is an adorable picture. The little girl looks happy and is obviously enjoying watching the sun go down with her dad.
While I totally agree with what you wrote, I also think this picture is not of the bare bottom variety. Nasty people will always say nasty things, regardless of what one is wearing or not.
Personally, I think it is an adorable picture. The little girl looks happy and is obviously enjoying watching the sun go down with her dad.
Totally agree. She is wearing a diaper, which isn't obvious from the picture. But even if she were wearing nothing, I wouldn't personally see it as an issue. She's at home, on her own porch, sitting with her daddy enjoying the evening. It's perfectly cute and innocent. But I would leave it for the family album, and not post it online.
And it is true that nasty people will say nasty things regardless. Some YouTube videos have some absolutely horrific comments, so bad I don't even read many comments after the video. Even online news stories garner a lot of nasty, cruel comments. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but I definitely would not go asking for it by posting my personal business online myself. My private Facebook page is as far as it goes. That is also why I have a problem with strangers and their camera phones who feel they can video/photograph your child when they feel like it, which I have seen happen.
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