U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-30-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
1,416 posts, read 1,479,949 times
Reputation: 1565

Advertisements

Do You Allow Your Child To Talk Back?

I'm not talking about when you tell a child to do something and they say no. Not that type,
I mean the type if you and your child disagree.

Do you allow your child to question/disagree with you verbally? Or is your word law?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-30-2012, 11:48 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,333,321 times
Reputation: 32238
Pretty broad question.

Depends on what we're disagreeing about and how old they were.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 11:49 AM
 
14,253 posts, read 14,742,795 times
Reputation: 13611
Quote:
Originally Posted by chris123678 View Post
Do You Allow Your Child To Talk Back?

I'm not talking about when you tell a child to do something and they say no. Not that type,
I mean the type if you and your child disagree.

Do you allow your child to question/disagree with you verbally? Or is your word law?
Having a discussion is not necessarily talking back. So long as it is civil and reasoned (the level of 'reasoned' depends on age) then I think it is a healthy interaction.

I would hope my kids disagree wit me on some things. I brought them up to be adults and not clones.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 11:53 AM
 
5,643 posts, read 5,108,075 times
Reputation: 10150
As long as they are not disrespectful they can express an opinion. I will hear them out. But once I hear them if I still say no, the conversation is OVER. After that point they can get in trouble if they keep arguing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,792,833 times
Reputation: 14677
It really depends on what type of parent you are, how you model, and your goal for your children. If you want to raise children who are thoughtful and comfortable engaging in conversation, even if a bit heated, then a parent guides them through it. If the parent's goal is to raise compliant children who agree with the parents at all times, then you lay down the law I guess.

There are parental rules and opinions that are open for discussion, and there are those that are not, and they would differ within each family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 12:02 PM
 
15,744 posts, read 13,176,204 times
Reputation: 19636
Of course they can talk back. I also don't dictate how they feel. Call me crazy.

But they cannot be mean (it is possible to express anger without being mean), they cannot talk over anyone else, and they cannot use bad language.

OTOH, I rarely change my mind, but they are welcome to try since it has happened.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,954,304 times
Reputation: 2620
I don't mind my child disagreeing with me. It happens all the time. I encourage critical thinking. Sometimes she comes up with something that I hadn't considered and I do change my mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,632,813 times
Reputation: 46995
Whenever my now grown kids disagreed with me usually about permission I would say "Convince me" and I would listen to what they had to say and sometimes they would convince me. I always said "Give me a minute to think this over" and would excuse myself from the room.

But as far as smart mouth or sassy mouth, I'll have none of it. One of my 10 y.o. girls has started to "cop an attitude" only in the last month or two with "So--what about it" kind of response. DH and I stopped that as soon as we noticed it. I think she is hearing this from some neighborhood kid or else puberty is coming up really soon.

Once years ago when my 15 year old son came out with some smartass response and was disrespectful, I jerked a knot in his tail and said:

"You may hate my guts right now but as long as you are living in my house you damn well better learn how to fake it cause I'm not putting up with that mouth one more minute"

Guess what? He faked it till he made it and as an adult I couldn't ask for a better relationship.

Last edited by no kudzu; 08-30-2012 at 01:26 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Moscow
2,078 posts, read 2,905,128 times
Reputation: 2523
My kids talk back all the time-according to the OPs definition. We have lots of discussions. But ultimately I make the decision. And they are very familiar with my saying: "No" means the discussion is ending, not beginning.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-30-2012, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,989 posts, read 4,467,976 times
Reputation: 2733
Yes, I allow it. I encourage discourse that promotes critical thinking and argumentation skills. Of course she knows that No means no and that 'end of discussion' means just that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top