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Old 09-05-2012, 12:39 PM
 
Location: The Other California
4,255 posts, read 4,777,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
For whom?
For everyone, especially the child.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,366,487 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
Oh, please. You have no idea what you are talking about.

The spanking, when it happens, is for disobedience. Dad told the child to lay down, the child disobeys - swat. Recall that they are already used to this by 21 months. It's nothing new, just a reminder. I do not recommend going from no spanking to suddenly putting the child down this way.

Also, I forgot to mention that we're talking to the child all day about going to sleep in her own bed, getting her "consent". So, again, no surprises. By morning the kids are laughing and playing and have forgotten all about any unpleasantness the night before. BUT - they remember when it's bedtime again.

I said this could take up to a couple of weeks. Every family is different. But in reality, I've got it done in three or four days.
Spanking aside, your approach presupposes that disobedience is what is driving the sleep problem. This may be the case in some circumstances, but hardly for all or even most. As you wisely point out, every family is different and I would say every child is as well. I would suggest the OP figure out what is driving the problem in her particular child's case.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:49 PM
 
32,531 posts, read 31,070,648 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post

The spanking, when it happens, is for disobedience. .
And you are just sitting there on your chair just waiting for her to be disobedient again at which point you will spank her hard enough that it stings. Again.

Got it.

You spank your children when they are disobedient.

Got it.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:50 PM
 
16,253 posts, read 18,205,620 times
Reputation: 16076
Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
Oh, please. You have no idea what you are talking about.

The spanking, when it happens, is for disobedience. Dad told the child to lay down, the child disobeys - swat. Recall that they are already used to this by 21 months. It's nothing new, just a reminder. I do not recommend going from no spanking to suddenly putting the child down this way.

Also, I forgot to mention that we're talking to the child all day about going to sleep in her own bed, getting her "consent". So, again, no surprises. By morning the kids are laughing and playing and have forgotten all about any unpleasantness the night before. BUT - they remember when it's bedtime again.

I said this could take up to a couple of weeks. Every family is different. But in reality, I've got it done in three or four days.
So you are nagging them all day and then spanking them when they have not given their *consent* about your rule?

You are swatting them for this even younger than 21 months?

This sounds pretty outrageous to me.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:50 PM
 
Location: The Other California
4,255 posts, read 4,777,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
Spanking aside, your approach presupposes that disobedience is what is driving the sleep problem. This may be the case in some circumstances, but hardly for all or even most. As you wisely point out, every family is different and I would say every child is as well. I would suggest the OP figure out what is driving the problem in her particular child's case.
I don't think it's necessarily willful disobedience in most cases. But a toddler needs to understand that obedience is expected. The parent should gauge the situation. Is the child so tired that spanking is pointless and cruel? Is the child sick or feeling ill? Etc. Obviously, sometimes you shouldn't spank.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,366,487 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
I don't think it's necessarily willful disobedience in most cases. But a toddler needs to understand that obedience is expected. Obviously, the parent should gauge the situation. Is the child so tired that spanking is pointless and cruel? Is the baby sick or feeling ill? Etc. Obviously, sometimes you shouldn't spank.
Meh, I don't want to argue the merits or lack thereof of spanking. My point was merely that specificity in figuring out what is functionally causing the problem is probably the most efficient way to solve it, as opposed to throwing things at the wall to see what sticks, do you see what I mean? FWIW, I do agree that a child should be expected to stay in bed, etc., etc. if the problem is that there is continuous up and down and it is a primary compliance issue. There are a ton of other proximal causes, though, that may be more efficiently addressed directly if they apply, IMO.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:59 PM
 
Location: The Other California
4,255 posts, read 4,777,096 times
Reputation: 1527
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
And you are just sitting there on your chair just waiting for her to be disobedient again at which point you will spank her hard enough that it stings. Again.

Got it.

You spank your children when they are disobedient.

Got it.
Yep, you got it. And I have happy, content, and loving children who are seldom spanked or disciplined at all. Had to administer a spanking yesterday to my 4 y/o - first time in months. She came out of her room, apologized, accepted a hug from me, and returned to her games.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:01 PM
 
Location: The Other California
4,255 posts, read 4,777,096 times
Reputation: 1527
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
Meh, I don't want to argue the merits or lack thereof of spanking. My point was merely that specificity in figuring out what is functionally causing the problem is probably the most efficient way to solve it, as opposed to throwing things at the wall to see what sticks, do you see what I mean? FWIW, I do agree that a child should be expected to stay in bed, etc., etc. if the problem is that there is continuous up and down and it is a primary compliance issue. There are a ton of other proximal causes, though, that may be more efficiently addressed directly if they apply, IMO.
You're right. Very good advice.
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Old 09-05-2012, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,705 posts, read 43,182,435 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post

I would not, btw, suggest major physical activity right before bedtime. That's when the child needs to wind down not wind up.
Of course. To clarify, when I said "after dinner" for physical activity, I meant late afternoon/early evening. Back then we ate between 5-5:30, with bedtime around 7:30.

Never would I recommend running around the yard then straight to bed. LOL
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Old 09-05-2012, 03:10 PM
 
16,253 posts, read 18,205,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Of course. To clarify, when I said "after dinner" for physical activity, I meant late afternoon/early evening. Back then we ate between 5-5:30, with bedtime around 7:30.

Never would I recommend running around the yard then straight to bed. LOL
Still the running around might be best before dinner. If you eat at 5 and then run around at 6, you are still winding up rather than down before bed.
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