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Old 09-05-2012, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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I guess. It worked for my boys, but YMMV.
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Old 09-06-2012, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
HA! I know several parents who co-sleep and they would never claim that it provides for a good night's sleep. They are happy and committed to their choice. But not well rested by any stretch of the imagination. And they have not avoided night terrors. What works for some does not work for all.
Most people I know co-sleep because we get a better night's sleep without having to be up and down. I know I got a lot better sleep once I started co-sleeping. With my second I started our first night home and slept just fine. But I do agree that it doesn't avoid night terrors/ nightmares. My 3yo has recently started waking around 12:15 several nights per week with what seems to be nightmares. :*(

But I wouldn't suggest that OP should start co-sleeping at this point if they aren't already and aren't interested. I would suggest that they lay down together at bedtime though, and then sneak out once the child is asleep.
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Old 09-06-2012, 08:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Also, I would advise having her get a lot of physical activity in the later afternoon, right after dinner if possible. I have multiples, and there came a time when they were this age and up to ages 3 and 4 that we would just take them in the backyard and say, "Ok, now run to the fence as fast as you can! Now run back to me!" over and over as long as they wanted to. Little kids have a LOT of energy, and burning some of that off before bed really helps.

Maybe just play a really active game of hide and seek inside or if you wrestle a little bit with them and get them to spend a bit of that energy before the bath/book/bedtime routine begins. The goal is to keep from using YOU as a pacifier.
I know this makes a big difference with my little one, she has to have some sort of activity in the late afternoon.

I've also noticed that giving her a bedtime snack (yougurt, homemade pumpkin bread, waffle with peanut butter) helps too, esp if she was a light/picky eater at dinner.

A nice warm bath, books, nice pj's and a comfortable bed, dark enough and some whte noise, exercise during the day..... basically all the same things that make it easier or me to go to bed at night work for my little one.

Spanking? I'm not a spanker but I dont' see how this could help a toddler to sleep?
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:00 AM
 
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I guess people look at bedtime differently. I never thought it was my job to get my child to sleep. My job was to get my child to bed. Sleep is a natural, necessary function that will follow if the child is left alone. Most sleep problems are caused.
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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Originally Posted by Bakeneko View Post
Spanking? I'm not a spanker but I dont' see how this could help a toddler to sleep?
I don't understand either, as that type of discipline is going to up the emotional dysregulation at a time when one is trying to get the child calm enough to sleep.
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Niagara Falls ON.
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Well, I have a big bunch of grandchildren and my wife runs a daycare in the house. Many of these kids have big problems getting to sleep when their parents put them down to sleep. I have very little problem with it and most of the kids sleep like Rip Van Winkle around here. What I find is that each kid has his or her own needs when it comes to the question. Number one reason kids have in falling asleep is if they are not tired they are going to have trouble. That seems obvious but I have seen so many parents trying to put a kid to sleep when that kid is not ready. Around here I make sure the kids are tired. Lots and lots of physical activity and you rarely have a problem. I suspect that bad diet also plays a part. I can't fall asleep when I'm hungry and kids who are fed junk are never nutritionally satisfied. Sugar acts like speed in most kid's bodies and is just bad, bad, bad for them in almost all ways.

My biggest challenge is my one grandson. My daughter can NEVER get this kid to bad and in fact she just lets him wander around until he passes out. We have had him for weeks at a time and when I put him to bad he goes, period. He does not have an option because I will not let him get up. Every time he's here the first couple of days are bad. He does not want to go to bed. I put him to bed, turn the light out and sing. Now, I'm not sure if it's my singing that puts him to sleep or his need to escape from it that causes him to but after 2 days of it he just goes to bed.

I think a valuable skill that parents need to develop with children of all ages is to be able to discern between a child's real needs and a child's manipulations in order to get their way. If a child is manipulating me, in fact saying, "I decide what I do in this world, not you". If this is the case I probably will not allow the child to win. We are all under some kind of authority in this life and the sooner we are able to deal with that reality the more well adjusted we are likely to be.

On the other hand if a child is not following the caregiver's lead because or some other reason like, fear, insecurity, physical problem etc. It is up to the care giver to recognize that fact and address that first. Example, I think it's cruel to put a child to bed and force that kid to stay there if the kid is scared. In that case making that kid feel safe and secure is a far more important issue than getting the kid to go to sleep. Once the child does feel safe, secure and loved he will easily fall asleep when tired.
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
I don't understand either, as that type of discipline is going to up the emotional dysregulation at a time when one is trying to get the child calm enough to sleep.
Bingo.

That poster wasn't addressing getting the child to sleep. He was addressing how he trains his child to obey him and stay in her own bed. Which is by spanking her. He also refers to the "unpleasantness of the night before". Sounds like there is quite a bit of unpleasantness if the child is being trained to obey by being spanked. Tired child. Maybe afraid to sleep in the dark. Worried about monsters under the bed. Lonely. None of that was addressed, just how to get the child to obey the parent and stay in the bed.

Will a spanking help a child sleep? No. Unless the child is crying so much after multiple spankings she cries herself to sleep.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 09-06-2012 at 09:43 AM..
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:52 AM
 
32,531 posts, read 31,070,648 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucknow View Post

On the other hand if a child is not following the caregiver's lead because or some other reason like, fear, insecurity, physical problem etc. It is up to the care giver to recognize that fact and address that first. Example, I think it's cruel to put a child to bed and force that kid to stay there if the kid is scared. In that case making that kid feel safe and secure is a far more important issue than getting the kid to go to sleep. Once the child does feel safe, secure and loved he will easily fall asleep when tired.
This!

A tired child will sleep. Nature takes over. But the parent needs to find out the reason the child isn't sleeping. (The child is popping out of bed because he still has energy and he's used to the comfort of being with someone else.) The trick is to find what will make the child feel secure, safe and loved when he's snuggled into his own bed.
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:54 AM
 
13,474 posts, read 10,291,451 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
This!

A tired child will sleep. Nature takes over. But the parent needs to find out the reason the child isn't sleeping. (The child is popping out of bed because he still has energy and he's used to the comfort of being with someone else.)
Or because s/he is in the habit and breaking the habit is uncomfortable. Drag but it is what it is. Yes love, I know you are used to Mommy to be here. But I know you can do this. Good night.
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Old 09-06-2012, 10:07 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,361,383 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
But I wouldn't suggest that OP should start co-sleeping at this point if they aren't already and aren't interested. I would suggest that they lay down together at bedtime though, and then sneak out once the child is asleep.
Yep. This would be my suggestion as well and at some point the parent can gradually increase the seperation at bedtime by laying with the child for shorter periods of time. Most kids can sleep with a little light so Mom or Dad could even use this time to read a book or use a laptop while laying with their child as the child falls asleep.
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