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My 17 year old nephew has lunch delivered to him every day instead of eating cafeteria food because he doesn't like the way that it tastes. Today, I offered to get his food for him.
I don't want to dog on you because I know you're "just" the uncle.
But stop doing that. No one is doing your nephew any favors. Think about how many other kids are in that school. My guess is most of them don't like the taste of the food. How many of them have members of their family saying "How high?" when they tell them to jump. And stop paying him money to wash your car. ($20 bucks? That's more then the full-service car wash in my town including the tip.) Washing your uncle's car when you are 17 to earn $20 isn't teaching him anything. Except that Uncle is an easy mark for 20 bucks and little effort.
You asked if he's spoiled. He is. Thoroughly. Oh man. The good looking, high school quarterback who sits and texts that lunch isn't good enough. Recipe for a 40 year old in grandma's basement unless someone teaches him that life isn't like that.
I don't want to dog on you because I know you're "just" the uncle.
But stop doing that. No one is doing your nephew any favors. Think about how many other kids are in that school. My guess is most of them don't like the taste of the food. How many of them have members of their family saying "How high?" when they tell them to jump. And stop paying him money to wash your car. ($20 bucks? That's more then the full-service car wash in my town including the tip.) Washing your uncle's car when you are 17 to earn $20 isn't teaching him anything. Except that Uncle is an easy mark for 20 bucks and little effort.
You asked if he's spoiled. He is. Thoroughly. Oh man. The good looking, high school quarterback who sits and texts that lunch isn't good enough. Recipe for a 40 year old in grandma's basement unless someone teaches him that life isn't like that.
Haha. I originally offered only $15, but he talked me up to $20! I've rang the warning bell for YEARS, even got boycotted by my sisters when I tried to "whoop him" when he was about 4-5-6 years old for sassing his mother and treating her so badly. After that, I just gave up to keep peace with the family. As my mother would say, "it's your sister's child", etc. I'm not going to let him wash my car anymore since I obviously have to wait when HE wants to do the job.
I'm not going to let him wash my car anymore since I obviously have to wait when HE wants to do the job.
No. You don't let him wash your car because Nephew has to learn that Uncle Wehotex is not on Earth so he has pocket money. Neither is Uncle Wehotex here to make sure he has a nice lunch.
Just because Mom and Grandma do it doesn't mean you have to. You COULD be the man who teaches him. Don't be the man who enables him.
No. You don't let him wash your car because Nephew has to learn that Uncle Wehotex is not on Earth so he has pocket money. Neither is Uncle Wehotex here to make sure he has a nice lunch.
Just because Mom and Grandma do it doesn't mean you have to. You COULD be the man who teaches him. Don't be the man who enables him.
This is right on the money. ^^^ You say that he doesn't have a male role model in his life. BE that role model, show him how a real man is supposed to behave, and stop spoiling him and catering to him. You are doing him no favors by treating him like a little princess. My child is also being raised by a single parent, me, and I would NEVER allow anybody to pity or spoil her for that reason. She has to make her way in this world like anybody else, no matter what sad tale she has to tell...and so does your nephew.
Yes, I agree that he's rather spoiled. When a child acts as if the world is coming to an end by not getting him what he wants just for one day, then that's spoiled. Highschool contains hundreds of kids and they all have to deal with the crappy lunch,bad service from lunch room cashiers and short meal times, yet they deal with it.
I think that alot of things should change in Highschool,Spoiling a child is acting as if he's still in Grade school, teenagers need to realize that each year they get older, they are expected to do more because life gets harder.
Some kids are horribly spoiled- My younger brother will buy new bikes for the boys...within two days they come back vandalized and wrecked--Gets one of them a nice lap top- the thing disappears...They want some money...He hands the brat fifty bucks ....Then there is the addiction to money that takes place-- He found one of his creepy sons crawling across his bedroom floor trying to get into his wallet...The kid said he was looking for sox....My brother looked in the 13 year old's wallet and low and behold - He had more money than dad...He had been stealing from both of his parents..The brad had over 700 bucks on him...Yep...my brother spoiled them so badly - he now has to deal with potential criminality.
I also would say he's spoiled -- but sometimes spoiled kids turn out just fine.
I know a doctor who said he's never in his life had to make himself a sandwich or vacuum a rug or wash a dish -- and he admits he was very spoiled. His grandmother waited on him, his mother waited on him, his wife waited on him. He earns good money and is successful.
How he does in life may depend on other factors -- I would have thought just about everyone would have turned out wrong because next to what my parents thought, they would all have been viewed as spoiled but mostly they turned out okay and so did we -- even with our parents being ever so careful never to spoil us.
I also would say he's spoiled -- but sometimes spoiled kids turn out just fine.
I know a doctor who said he's never in his life had to make himself a sandwich or vacuum a rug or wash a dish -- and he admits he was very spoiled. His grandmother waited on him, his mother waited on him, his wife waited on him. He earns good money and is successful.
How he does in life may depend on other factors -- I would have thought just about everyone would have turned out wrong because next to what my parents thought, they would all have been viewed as spoiled but mostly they turned out okay and so did we -- even with our parents being ever so careful never to spoil us.
What happens when his wife leaves him or passes on? He'll be helpless. I wouldn't call that "turning out just fine."
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