Is There A breaking Point For When A Parent Should Stop Loving Their Child?? (wife, son)
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I mean, my mother has often jokingly said that if I were convicted of a seriously crime she'd disown me. Of course, I've never been convicted of a serious crime, have no record of any kind, and don't plan on getting one. In fact, I'd say those words spoken to me in jest so long ago are the reason why. Because of this I wonder if my mother would actually just cut all ties with me if I hit her breaking point. I wonder if I'd do the same if I had kids and set some kind of imaginary breaking point? Is thee a breaking point? Should there be a breaking point? Would any of you parents stop loving your children if they did something horrible? Or does parenthood ignore all that?
Edit: I wasn't sure if this should go in this section or the great debate section. Please move or keep as required.
To disown and to stop loving are 2 different things. No, there is no point at which a person "should" stop loving there child. I'm sure some people get to that point, not that they "should."
AMISH parents practice "shunning." Any of their children who leave their community to mainstream into the modern world are shunned and given the silent treatment and forbidden from ever returning to visit.
Yes, I seriously believe there IS a breaking point, where you couldn't even force yourself to "feel" love for a child. Love is, after all....a feeling. Also, if someone hurts you horribly, repeatedly and has no remorse, you may have no choice, other than to close your heart to that person, in order to keep them from destroying you. That would even apply to parents. I've met parents who are in that position and when you've talked to those people and heard their stories....heard the TONE of their voice and the passion in their words.....you KNOW they're telling the truth. They despise their child, want nothing to do with them....ever. They see them as evil THINGS, not as their "precious little children".
AMISH parents practice "shunning." Any of their children who leave their community to mainstream into the modern world are shunned and given the silent treatment and forbidden from ever returning to visit.
There are many different affiliations, or types, of Amish. Not all families and churches practice total shunning and forbid the child from ever visiting again.
And shunning does not mean the end of a parent loving their child.
Of course. You will always love the idea of your child or what they represented to you, but you may not like or love them as a person once they come into their own. I can easily see that happening.
Yes, a child can stop loving a parent just as a parent can stop loving a child. It's the same bond that breaks. Severing the relationship is a conscious decision and must be terribly painful.
Hi, I recently went through some things in my life what do you think dictates a parents right to stop loving their kid. what do you think would be your breaking point to stop loving a child. What would the kid have to do? Thank-you
I don't know if you can control whether you love your child or not. There is something very primal about it IMO. Once you feel it I don't know if you can make yourself turn it off. It may happen, but I don't know if you can consciously do it.
However, you can make the (very painful) decision to distance yourself from them. I would imagine if my child turned out to be (God forbid) a serial child molester/murder or something like that I'd have to walk away, though I'd still love them on some level I imagine. But I'd mourn them as if they died and think about them all the time.
This most closely resembles my feelings on the matter. I don't know if I could ever stop loving. My heart would be shattered like glass...but I think I'd still love my child. Heck, I gave a baby up for adoption back in 99...and I still love him. I think...maybe it would be like as if they died...I don't know.
I have heard of cases where a parent grows to fear a child who has gone violent. In that case, perhaps fear would replace love.
Otherwise I don’t know the answer to the OP’s question. But I do know of cases where parents refuse to believe their kid is guilty even after being convicted of a heinous crime, and they continue to support him. Sometimes a parent remains loyal and loving even when they know their child is guilty. Sometimes the love of a parent is all an imprisoned person has to hold onto.
I don't think a parent would ever stop loving their child. If the child is a toxic adult, it's only a matter of time when a parent will finally have enough and distance themselves. Obviously that will vary because not everyone thinks the same way.
I think it has more to with the relationship between the mother and son than the son's relationship between anyone else.
When a son loves his mother, regardless of how twisted, she will love him no matter what he does. When the bond between mother and son is broken, I believe that is when the love can end.
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