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One of my nieces is expecting her first baby, and her<edit>social media postings during the pregnancy have brought a question to my mind:
When did you begin loving your child? I don't mean loving the idea of being a parent, because that could happen years before conception. But when did you actually love your child as a real person?
Also, when did you begin thinking of your child as a real person?
Let us know whether you are the birth mother, the father, or an adoptive parent.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-07-2016 at 06:37 AM..
Reason: no mention of specific social media's. see sticky post
I loved my son before he was conceived. I knew he was a real person with a personality all his own even if he wasn't here. I don't think I was in love so much with the idea of being a parent as much as I loved him for the potential he had. My belief is such that he was waiting for me in some form way way before he was conceived and He Was Real.
DH and I have 3 adopted daughters. Love started when we got the phone call saying "We have a baby for you" I knew birthdates, weights, places etc and they were physical but they too were waiting for us somewhere before they were born. However I would not let myself love before we got the final word about specific children. But I remember so well the walk to the mailbox where I knew the referral picture was waiting for me. To hold that picture in my hands is a feeling I will never forget. I burst into tears each time to see the child I knew would always come to us.
At the first ultrasound of our first child. While I was preparing for being a father before that, seeing the picture of my child made it real. Feeling and watching the bumps of the belly, hearing my wife say (oh, our baby is moving, etc) all made real.
One of my nieces is expecting her first baby, and her facebook postings during the pregnancy have brought a question to my mind:
When did you begin loving your child? I don't mean loving the idea of being a parent, because that could happen years before conception. But when did you actually love your child as a real person?
Also, when did you begin thinking of your child as a real person?
Let us know whether you are the birth mother, the father, or an adoptive parent.
I started loving the idea of my children when I found out I was pregnant. The moment they were born, I started loving them as a person.
When she was born. It was hard to imagine who she was (I didn't even KNOW she was a she, lol) or what she would look like or be like. I was so terrified that she would be born dead or have something wrong with her that I didn't want to let myself hope my baby would be OK until s/he was born.
Just before she was born, I had a dream that I had a baby with curly dark hair and blue eyes. I wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl and I woke up before I found out. As it turned out, I had a daughter--with brown eyes and straight blonde hair. So much for dreams!
I second I found out I was pregnant, I was madly in love. Then when I found out the gender, I became even more in love. When I gave birth, I was beyond in love.
As soon as I knew I was pregnant. I knew she was going to be a girl, and I knew what her name would be. It was just like I was waiting for her to get here, and when she did, she was everything I dreamed she would be and more.
With my first child, probably when he started moving and my belly was getting bigger. Before that, I had no real frame of reference. I loved the idea of having a baby, but it wasn't until then that I could really *love* the baby.
With my second, I think it came more quickly in the pregnancy. I knew more what to do and what it was all about.
We host exchange students, and while it's not exactly the same, I end up loving them as well. With the first, it took a while... probably 5 or 6 months. With the second, it was after a month or so. Our third has been here for a bit over a month and it's coming along more slowly, but we're also having a few adjustment issues, so it's a bit different this time.
Once I found out the sex - pregnancy suddenly seemed more real and I loved the idea of my little boy. Loved him the minute he was born.
Kinda fell out of love (not really, but you know what I mean) when I figured out this whole parenting thing was not going to be an Ivory Snow commercial. He was colicky, cried a lot; up all night, etc. Hard, hard work - so much harder than I thought!
When I first saw him as a real person and my heart just burst with love for him - he was four months old and I had been out of town for work for two nights. He was staying with Grandma and Grandad. When I got home - he smiled so big and tried to wriggle out of his bouncy seat. That's when I realized he knew who I was and all those nights of rocking him to sleep - really meant something. He loved me; I was shaping a life. That's when it really got real for me.
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